Saturday, 13 December 2008

A BIT OF A HABIT

Is it Saturday or just me?

Maybe it’s just that the weeks over and my braincell needs a rest.

A mixture of “funny” pics, and other stuff.


“Funny” signs

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

On a plumber's truck:We repair what your husband fixed.

In front of a church:Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case


“Funny” Insurance claim forms

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."

“Funny” Quotes


Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again. F. P. Jones

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. Benjamin Franklin

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. Spike Milligan


I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield


From all over

The Perfect Scam - AustraliaAustralian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam: A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check. After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check. However, due to the name of the company, few people will present these checks to their banks. The name of the company:"The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."

Creative Writing

A creative writing class at Slippery Rock University was asked to writea concise essay containing the following elements: Religion Royalty Sex Mystery.

The prize winner wrote:"My God," said the queen, "I am pregnant! I wonder who did it?"


Actual Newspaper Headlines

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead



And some Pics


























That's it.

Angus

3 comments:

christina said...

Goodmorning, I adored tha creiative writing bit and those who give credit to concise and condensed writing...
p.s. sorry for any grammatical mistakes

angus said...

Hi Christina

Hope your weather is better than ours, lashing down with rain, very windy and cold.

Thanks for the comment

CherryPie said...

There are some good ones in there, made me smile :-)