Saturday, 10 January 2009

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US


I was watching “live at the Apollo “ last night, and there was an Irish comedian on that brought up some interesting points about men and women-BBC iPlayer

The most profound was-the questions that women ask their men-and the one which causes the most terror among men was “what are you thinking about?”

I know, because I have been in that position, your first reaction is panic, what do I say?

Because the thoughts in my mind at the time was –absolutely nothing, I was blank, phased out, “cogitating” without the cogitate bit.

Men have the ability to think about nothing, it comes naturally, but you can’t say that can you?

Because if you do she will think you are hiding something.

The lady in your life expects an answer that will sate her inquiring mind, but you have absolutely no clue what she wants, your mind starts to “dash” about like a chicken without a head, it comes up with words such as –cars, sport, TV, women, page three, food, sex and oh shit!

When the only cogent thought you have had in the last two hours is “my arse itches a lot today”.

So you say something totally inane like “I really like your hair” or “that is a nice dress” because in your panic your mind has had a stroke and is completely incapable of rational thought.

Then you get “that look”, the same look that they give to small children caught with their finger up their nose.

The look then turns into a “god what have I hooked up with” glare, which becomes a silence, during which you are supposed to redeem yourself by saying something intelligent-no chance, so you say “what?” and they walk away totally convinced that they are living with a moron.

So to sum up, men are very capable of having a completely blank mind, it can last for hours, it isn’t deliberate, it isn’t to get up ladies noses. It just comes naturally, we can’t help it: it is in our “jeans” (deliberate), our “mental” makeup is inherited.

Please ladies, if you have to ask questions, at least ask us a positive question like “what do you think of this?” or “isn’t that a nice colour” not “what are you thinking about?” as that is the one inquiry guaranteed to ruin your day (and ours).

“The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.”-Nicholas Murray Butler
Angus

6 comments:

CherryPie said...

I always think a good answer to what are you thinking about (when you aren't thinking anything)is:

I was away with the fairies :-)

angus said...

Can you say that anymore? :)

James Higham said...

Careful, Angus. The rabid feminists will be down on you like a ton of bricks. :)

angus said...

True though innit?

CherryPie said...

I am not sure ;-)

angus said...

It is from a male point of view :)