Monday, 6 July 2009

THE BOG SNORKLER, THE BURNING MAN AND OTHERS

At last it has rained, proper rain, for at least half an hour, which of course was guaranteed because I watered the bloody garden last night.

Still, mustn’t moan.





The Bog Snorkler:

Down (or is it up?) in Llanwrtyd Wells, mid Wales, there is a strange event that occurs each year, the Bog Snorkling Triathlon. To cross the finish line, competitors have to run seven-and-a-half miles, complete two lengths of the town's infamous 135-foot long, six-foot deep bog and cycle 19 miles across the most demanding of mountain terrain.

Mr Bent, a seasoned triathlete who won this year and is about to cycle 9,000 miles to India for charity, said it was one of the hardest events he has ever done.

"We did it last year and it seemed so much harder than last year," he said.

"I must have tried to numb the memory of it. On the run you are kept going up hill and up hill and then you have to run down rivers.

"On the bike you are having to jump off cliff edges as well. It is really, really tough but I love that stuff. There is nothing wrong with a bit of pain!"

Yeah right!



The burning man:

Down(and I know it well) at the Alton & North East Hampshire Agricultural Show on Sunday a Scottish nurse broke a world record by setting himself on fire and running for nearly 100 yards engulfed in a ball of flames.

Keith Malcolm, from Aberdeen, was doused in petrol before sprinting 259ft ablaze to beat the previous fire-run record of 227ft.

To claim the record the amateur stuntman wore eight layers of protective clothing, including four layers of fireproof undergarments, a Formula One fireproof jacket and three overalls.

He also wore three fire hoods and a helmet and coated himself in special protective "stunt gel" so he would not be harmed by the flames, which are believed to have reached 1,000C.

Mr Malcolm took up the bizarre hobby last year but a previous attempt on the record in May failed when he fell over 40ft short of the record.


Smokin!



Chester Zoo and the great escape:

30 chimps did a Steve McQueen yesterday; escaping from “Chimp Island” and made their way into a keeper area where their food is prepared, the zoo said.

The 5000 people who were visiting at the time had to be evacuated, "In the interests of public safety Chester Zoo was evacuated today, Sunday 5th July, as a precautionary measure. This decision was taken due to an escape of chimpanzees from Chimp Island into a keeper area," the zoo said.

In a statement, it apologised for the disappointment caused to guests and offered to provide a refund or free future visit to the zoo.

Monkey see monkey leg it.



I hate you Rubik:

The 64-year-old reclusive Hungarian professor, who has seen his cube achieve 350 million sales since 1980, was heavily involved in creating a new brain-teaser.

The 360 is a clear plastic ball holding six small balls of different colours. Players must get the coloured balls from an inner sphere into matching slots on the outer sphere by shaking them through a middle sphere that has only two holes.

David Hedley Jones, senior vice president of the Rubik brand, said: "It doesn't need batteries and looks as though it should be quite easy.

"But it is incredibly complicated. There are some really cunning tricks to it."

I still have nightmares about his original 1974 “Rubik Cube” which managed to confuse me for years, and embarrassed me endlessly because any eight year old could solve it.

I did eventually beat it by taking all the coloured stickers off and replacing them.

“Brain the size of a planet………”


And finally:




The ups and downs of life:

Some maniac has built a new record-breaking rollercoaster ride which is the steepest ever. The "Mumbo Jumbo" coaster at the Flamingo Land Park, near Malton, North Yorks, plunges passengers down 112 degrees and puts them through similar forces to those experienced by jet pilots.

The £4 million ride, which lasts for 38 seconds, has been confirmed as the world's steepest by Guinness World of Records.

As well as the drop, the ride boasts another 30-foot plunge and the ability to throw riders round thrilling corners.

Gordon Gibb, Chief Executive of the park, said: "This is a fantastic achievement for Flamingo Land. We are extremely proud of our new ride. It's a world beater, and it definitely puts us in the theme park premier league.


As Billy Connelly would say “**** that*, I get dizzy stepping off the pavement.

Angus

Angus Dei politico

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

5 comments:

Phidelm said...

Hooray, Angus! Keep 'em coming - please. Mind you, the bog snorkellers are up against some fierce competition when it comes to fascinating pursuits and attractions in mid-Wales. Still it probably beats dwile-flonking (thanks, Suffolk) and rolling large cheeses down a very steep hill (Gloucestershire). Love all the madness: keeps us sane!

angus said...

Love Dwile-flonking, it's 400 years old u know,snag is the VI is always picked to be the jobanowl, difficult to choose:)

Phidelm said...

Er, quite ... yer wot? Chew wanner give oi a translational cuz oim not unerstandin a wordo that, inny lurrk? Blige!

angus said...

For those of you not cognicent of "Dwile-flonking"

'flonk' is Old English Ale and 'dwile' is a knitted floor cloth. Two teams are formed and a sugar beat tossed to decide who is going to 'flonk' first.

A "dull witted person" is chosen as the referee or 'jobanowl'. The game begins when he shouts "Here y'go t'gither!"

Before a match the dwile flonkers sing an emotionally filled anthem "Here we 'em be together" penned by one Amos Thirkle, who was later adopted as the sport's patron saint.

The team which is not flonking holds hands and dances around in a circle - known as "girting". A member of the opposing team stands in the middle of the circle holding a "driveller" (a pole 2-3 ft long and made from hazel or yew), on the end of which is a beer-soaked dwile.

The flonker then turns in an anti-clockwise direction and flonks his dwile at the opposing circling team.

If the dwile misses completely it is known as a "swadger". When this happens the team forms a line and the flonker takes hold of a pot filled with ale.

He then has to drink the contents of the pot before the wet dwile has passed from hand to hand along the line, chanting to the ancient ceremonial mantra of "pot pot pot".

The team with the highest number of points wins, after deducting one point for every player still sober.

Simple EH!

Phidelm said...

Cheers, Angus - sounds, er, interesting ... actually it does, in a crazed, Anglo-eccentric fashion.
P