Friday, 27 November 2009

Bah humbug!; Darwin Numpty; Flatulent Porker; Not Mushroom inside; and You VILL TURN RIGHT!!

Not quite as knackered today, and looking forward to my phone conversation with someone at my GPs surgery regarding the Vaccination letters received yesterday (see yesterday’s second post).








I am watching BBC news at the moment and the boss of the CQC, Baroness Young is trying to fudge the Basildon Hospital deaths, mainly by blaming Monitor, and saying that the CQC doesn’t have the power to do anything, although they have managed to prosecute the owner of a Beauty chain for using hair removal lasers without registration.

Should be interesting, post on Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE later.

And:










The Gov’s (our) deficit is increasing at £3 Billion a week, The government borrowed some £11.4 billion in October, bringing the total borrowed so far this year to £86.9 billion - the highest running total in history - according to the Office for National Statistics.

The news is particularly embarrassing since October is usually one of the best months of the year for the public finances, since it is when much of the corporate tax receipts arrive in Whitehall. The Conservatives pointed out that the shortfall in October was 88 times more than the same month last year.

Economists said it was now all but certain that the Chancellor, Alistair Darling, would miss his borrowing forecast of £175bn this fiscal year.

How does it go again.......Prudence?



First up:








A sullen Santa Claus has been sacked from his job for being too grumpy.

The "Grinch-like" Father Christmas was axed from a festive lights switch-on for his "inept and sullen" performance.

The disastrous appearance of the lookalike also saw him failing to communicate with children during the event in Evesham, Worcestershire.

The stand-in for the real and jovial Santa was supposed to be one of the main attractions at the event but the performer was slammed by organisers who branded him "inept and disinterested".

Hundreds of townsfolk flocked to the event where Santa was supposed to ride in gloriously on a sleigh pulled by reindeer and give out plenty of sweets as he chatted to children about what they wanted for Christmas.

But while he did ride in on a sleigh, he distributed just a few sweets, only spoke twice to children and had his head down for most of the event.

Lew Hammond, manager of Evesham Market Town Partnership, said: "It was a disaster. The Father Christmas has now been sacked and the fee cancelled and we have also been given an extra GBP50 for the poor performance.
"That’s a first, too. We haven't had damages awarded before."

I would make a good Santa, I love kids, and have found that they are best slowly roasted on a spit.









From South a lot and over a bit: A bomb technician was called to a Darwin home last night to remove an explosives detonator that a man had driven over three times "to see what would happen", Northern Territory Police say.

The device had been in the home for six months, since the 29-year-old male resident brought it home from work, before he contacted police to have it removed.

"He also informed us that he had run over the device three times in his motor vehicle to see what would happen," Superintendent John Emeny said.

"The attending police officers confirmed the device was a badly crumpled detonator and a bomb technician from the Territory response squad was called in to remove it.

He said the man's decision to drive over the device was risky.

"It goes without saying that any kind of explosive device has the potential to cause serious injury and should be left alone," Superintendent Emeny said.

"And if you locate a suspicious item just leave it where it is and contact police."

Maybe they should charge him with failing the “Darwin test”.







Also from South a lot and then South a bit more: Fire fighters called to a reported gas leak on a farm in southern Australia traced the source to a 120kg pig with an irritable bowel.

"When we got to the property where the 'alert' was, these people had a pig, a big sow, which was about 20m away from the house," Country Fire Authority captain Peter Harkins told a Melbourne radio station on Thursday.

"I don't know what they were feeding this thing but we certainly heard it."

Harkins said the owner of the flatulent pig had apologised for calling 15 fire-fighters to his farm at Axedale, near Bendigo.

"He was a little bit embarrassed to say the least. It took us a little while to compose ourselves, to speak to him," Harkins said of Tuesday's incident.

"It was fairly obvious what it was.

"I think we dealt with it fairly professionally and had a bit of a giggle when we got back to the station."


Combustible Porcine.















From East quite a bit and then down a little: Indian police in Kashmir seized a $US3 million ($A3.22 million) haul of a rare fungus touted as 'Himalayan Viagra' for its supposed aphrodisiac properties.

Four men were arrested with 90 kilograms of the fungus, caterpillar mushroom; in the mountainous Ladakh region in the Indian portion of Kashmir, said Bhim Sen Tuti, a police officer.

They were allegedly trying to smuggle the fungus into China, he said.

The fungus is traditionally used in Chinese medicines as an aphrodisiac and for treating fatigue and diseases including cancer.

The street value of the haul was $US3 million, police said.

If convicted, the four face jail terms ranging from seven years to life imprisonment for violating India's Wildlife, Forest and Biodiversity laws, Tuti said.

“Stiff” sentence, (think about it).


And finally:










Martin Pohlmann, 38, ended up in hospital after the crash, causing £20,000 of damage to the property at Neuss, Germany after his sat nav ordered him to TURN RIGHT!

One eyewitness told the Austrian Times: "The car was travelling along perfectly normally then suddenly turned right and ploughed straight into the shop window."
The car was a write-off and had to be towed away.

You VILL OBEY Numpty.


Angus

AnglishLit

Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE

Angus Dei politico

3 comments:

James Higham said...

Lovely to see the words Darwin and Numpty placed together.

angus said...

Not often I get the chance James:)

CherryPie said...

I wonder how that Santa managed to get the job in the first place!