Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Gnome Numptys; Shotgun Numpty; Italian Numptys; Cambridge Numpty; and what is a Numpty?

Still wet, cold and miserable: and the weather’s not much better either. You may notice a slight theme to today’s post, the world is too serious and I have decided to male it more fun, for a day at least.

And talking of Numptys: Dave C has called for an end to the UK's "over-the-top" health and safety culture.

In a speech, he said this had created a "stultifying blanket of bureaucracy, suspicion and fear".

In recent years, he added, children had been told to wear goggles to play conkers and trainee hairdressers had been banned from using scissors.

But Labour said Mr Cameron's views were based on "myth" and that the system was "sensible and proportionate".

The Conservative leader announced a review of the rules when he spoke to the Policy Exchange think tank.

Or should that be “Policy Exchange thick tank”?

And: Google has decided to back down to the media by setting a limit on the number of free news articles people can read through Google, the company has announced.

The concession follows claims from some media companies that the search engine is profiting from online news pages.

Under the First Click Free programme, publishers can now prevent unrestricted access to subscription websites.

Users who click on more than five articles in a day may be routed to payment or registration pages.

So it’s all about money then, not about freedom of information.

First up:

A council in the West Midlands has apologised to Linda Langford, one of its tenants, after ordering her to remove two garden gnomes from outside her front door for health and safety reasons.

Sandwell Metropolitan Borough Council sent a letter to Linda Langford instructing her to remove two six-inch gnomes, as well as a pottery tortoise and a welcome plaque from outside her flat in Tipton, West Midlands.

It claimed that the ornaments were illegally blocking a communal area in Mrs Langford’s two-storey block of flats, and that people could trip over them when escaping a fire.

However, the council has now admitted that the letter was based on a misunderstanding of its fire safety rules and should not have been sent.

Mahboob Husaain, the borough’s cabinet member for housing, said that it had “slightly misinterpreted the policy on items in communal areas” and that garden gnomes were not prohibited.

“Our policy is that as long as there is not an excessive number of gnomes or similar items in communal areas, and as long as there isn't a problem with these items being damaged through anti-social behaviour, they can stay,” he added.

There’s no place like gnome.

A 12-year-old boy lost a toe after a security guard accidentally shot his foot when he dropped his shotgun on the floor.

The Star, a local daily, reported here on Wednesday that the incident had caused one of Ahmad Faiz Roslan's toes to be amputated.

The incident took place Tuesday afternoon at an outlet of Malaysia's main energy provider Tenaga Nasional Bhd (TNB) near here, injuring also Faiz's cousin Muhammad Faris, 12.

According to The Star, the boys followed Faris' mother to the outlet to pay the electricity bill.

After injuring the boys, both on the right feet, the panicked security guard, 60, allegedly tried to flee the scene but was later detained.

According to a statement released by TNB, appropriate action would be taken against the private company providing security services.

It was reported that TNB had also requested the company to give a statement following the incident.

Too late!

Italian police officers wrote off a £200,000 supercar given to them by Lamborghini when it smashed into a row of parked cars.

The 202mph Gallardo coupe was one of two donated to police by the luxury motor manufacturer to help with high speed pursuits.

Witnesses say the police car had accelerated massively just before another car pulled out of a petrol station and forced it off the road in Cremona, northern Italy.

Embarrassed cops tried to confiscate phone cameras from witnesses but abandoned the plan when hundreds turned up to gawp at the smash.

"They are supposed to be elite drivers but even the best can have an off day," said one colleague.

Boys and their toys.

A trucker dubbed "Numpty" and "thicky" by workmates has been offered a place at Cambridge University.

Darren Bastin, 30, became a lorry driver after leaving school with no qualifications.

Colleagues would jokingly call him stupid - until he took a Mensa test which declared him a genius.

His score of 151 puts him in the top two per cent of the population for intelligence. This spurred him on to take A levels at college for which he is tipped to get top marks.

Provided he gets the grades, he will study history at Cambridge.

Darren said: "It's a dream come true. I wanted to prove to all those people who put me down that I could do it and show them I'm not thick.

"I would just love to see the faces of all those people who called me thicky and Numpty at work. Although I do love driving, I doubt I will be trucking full-time again."

Only 151 in the Mensa test, HA! mine was 168, Numpty.

And finally:

Lots of people ask me what is a Numpty? click the link above to find out.




Angus Dei politico


James Higham said...

Google - yes, all about money.

CherryPie said...

I think number 2 just about sums up numpty!!!