Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Hanger mouth and women: Taking the piss: The Old Dark lord and a certain paedophile: B&Q flash dance: Pissing Rio: lots of pancakes: Prezza does the forecast: and ladies sauntering.




Lots of white frosty stuff mixed in with a touch of misty stuff at the Castle this morn, my free “home energy monitor” arrived from my leccy supplier yesterday and, after spending quite a while reading the instructions (which were it seems written by the same bloke who does Ikea’s nonsensical flat pack stuff), managed to finally get it working, after sending the butler into the bowels of the dungeon to attach the “wireless do-dah to the meter, and now I can’t stop watching the bloody thing.
I keep turning things on and then rushing to see the “speedometer” leap up the scale, the sad bit is that I don’t have a bleedin clue what all the readings mean.
But I have worked out that when I put the kettle on for a cuppa it zooms up to 34p, but when I put my milky coffee into the microwave it only goes up to 22p.
Ergo-it is cheaper to make a cuppa in Mandy the microwave than use Kevin the kettle…I think.

And my lovely young lady is coming to cut my remaining locks today, must put the kettle on……..




 Cherie Blair is to lead a Labour group looking at improving the lives of women in the developing world.
The wife of former Prime Minister Tony Blair said she wanted to make a "real difference" in areas such as education and healthcare.
Labour leader Ed Miliband has called for "profound" changes to the party's policies and organisation.
The announcement of Mrs Blair's role comes ahead of the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day on Tuesday.
In November, Mr Miliband said Labour would be looking at all areas of policy, as they seek a return to power following the loss of the general election.
Mrs Blair's work will be overseen by Harriet Harman, the shadow international development secretary and Labour deputy leader.

That’s fucked that up then.




As a British citizen, Emdadur Choudhury enjoys benefits including a free council flat and almost £800 a month state handouts.
Yesterday he laughed at justice as he was handed a paltry £50 fine for setting light to poppies on Remembrance Day and yelling ‘British soldiers burn in hell’.
After hearing his penalty, which outraged war veterans, the 26-year-old father of two declared: ‘I don’t have any respect for British soldiers, and if they lose a limb or two in Afghanistan then they deserve it. You expect me to feel sorry for them? Of course I don’t.’

Nice.




I see that the old Dark lord is keeping schtum over the extent of his contact with disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein.
The former Business Secretary did not respond to questions about why the convicted paedophile’s ‘little black book’ featured ten entries for him and his partner Reinaldo da Silva.
The inclusion of Lord Mandelson and an office address for Tony Blair has raised questions about the extent of his relationship with the Labour government.
But last night – some 48 hours after the link between Epstein and Lord Mandelson emerged – the former Labour spin doctor was still refusing to comment about his dealings with the disgraced billionaire.

See evil, speak no evil hear no evil.




Sid Prior B&Q’s oldest employee (allegedly) put on his dancing shoes as B&Q workers around the country took part in a co-ordinated "flash mob" routine for charity.

Sid joined around 100 fellow workers and weekend shoppers for a five-minute boogie to the Black Eyed Peas' tune I've Got A Feeling.
Mr Prior, who works part-time at the store in New Malden, Greater London, as a 'greeter' said: "It was very enjoyable. I thought I might have to tango, but it was in the style of the YMCA. I was throwing my arms around and twisting about."

Sid is the man……




More than 200 people have been arrested during Rio's Carnival that is under way for relieving themselves in the street, underlining authorities' determination to clean up the city that will be host to the 2016 Olympic Games.
"Two hundred and fourteen people have been arrested over the weekend.... We are going to constantly fight those urinating in the street. Such a lack of respect for the city and its citizens in unacceptable," the municipal official in charge public order, Alex Costa, told the G1 news website Monday.
The detentions follow on from last year, when authorities launched a campaign to stop the widespread practice of beer-swilling Carnival revelers -- most of them men -- answering the call of nature in doorways, between cars and other public areas.
In tandem with their "Zero Tolerance for Pissing," as the campaign is called, they have established portable toilets in many of the most popular areas.
Still, long lines at the toilets prompted many to complain to there weren't enough to meet the pressing demand. Despite the risk of arrest, several people were still seen taking a leak in out-of-the way corners.
Authorities have promised to increase the number of portable toilets in the future.

Wonder what the fine is for spending a “real” centavo?




Melbourne chef has set a new Australian record on Shrove Tuesday for the tallest standing stack of pancakes.
Chef Andy Wrobel piled 55 buckwheat pancakes to form a 61 centimetre tower in Melbourne this morning.
Mr Wrobel says he is disappointed he did not break the world record of 74 centimetres.
"Today wasn't a bad effort. It was one of our better stacks," he said.
"We decided to do this six or eight weeks ago and we've been making all kinds of pancakes. We were doing the chocolate, buckwheat and the buttermilk pancakes."
Mr Wrobel says the buckwheat pancakes are the easiest ones to stack.

Shrove Tuesday eh: must rush out and buy a lemon.




Who has apparently kept a keen ear on the weather bulletins during his days at sea as a bar ship steward is to read the Radio 4 shipping forecast.
The former Deputy Prime Minister is to present the "late ships" forecast later this month - the first time anyone other than a BBC announcer has done so.
His guest slot on the 00.48am broadcast on Saturday March 19 is in support of Red Nose Day, and sprang from a joke on Twitter.

He will of course be changing the names of the shipping areas to-
Vomiting, North Upyours, South Upyours, Fortifying, Crohn's, Food, Mine, Hot Dogger, Fisher and chips, German sausage Bite, Humble, dinner Thames, Dover sole, Wight fish, Bottle of Portland, Plymouth Gin, Chocolate Biscays, Trafalgar cutlets, Fitzroy Café, More Sole, Lindy candy, Fastfood, Irish stew, Shannon all day breakfast, Rockall Salmon, Malingering, Hebrides scallops, Bailey in a bottle, Fare Isle guillemot, Faeroes mutton, and Southeast Ice cream.

And finally:

Ladies sauntering.




And today’s thought: A minute can seem such a long time . . . depending on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

Angus

2 comments:

Bernard said...

What you have there is a "Watt meter".
Maybe, not even a watt meter, just an Ammeter (if the voltage is constant.) A 1000w kettle takes 4 amps at 250volts.
We are charged by the number of watts we use AND for how long we use it.
Therefore your new meter is scaled in £ per hour.
If when you put on the kettle it shows 34 pence, that is how much you would have to pay if you kept in on for an HOUR!
Not the sort of thing we do! :)
In teeny-weeny letters you will see a " /h ". (right of the 006)
ps Don't keep you milky drink in the Micro for an hour - it's not good for the coffee or the Micro!
Cheers....Bernard

Angus said...

what watt meter Bernard the electric?