Wednesday, 13 April 2011

“Senior moments”: The EU runs the UK: Icelandic Todger: Suck off: Pig’s Ear of a Numpty: and are you H.A.P.P.Y?

It seems that the clement weather has gone on holiday at the Castle this morn, cold, cloudy dull and dismal, that was a short summer…
Still haven’t sorted the garden, cleared out the shed, evicted the eight legged hairy buggers, washed the windows, washed the Rover or done the other jobs that need doing.

Seems I am having a lot of Senior Moments


Researchers have found that the reason that older people sometimes become confused is that they find it difficult to switch back their brain after a distraction.
That means by the time they resume their original pattern of thinking, it could have gone from their heads.
The study, by the University of California, involved 40 volunteers, half of which were around 70 years old and the other half around 25 years old.
They were brain scanned as they were asked to memorise a picture of nature on a screen for 14 seconds.
The brain scans showed that activity in the brain switched during the distracting facial image in both volunteers – but it happened much more slowly in the elderly.
At random intervals a face was flashed up on the screen.
Each was then asked to describe the face and then recall the scene from nature.
They also had more problems recalling the original natural scene.
The researchers believe the slow switching affects short-term, or "working," memory – the capacity to hold and manipulate information in the mind for a period of time.

At least I have some sort of excuse…now, what was I saying…….

European judges yesterday gave PPP Dave six months to give prisoners the vote after snubbing the views of the UK parliament.
The Coalition lost its final appeal against a ruling that some inmates should be allowed to vote because of their human rights.
The rejection, from the Grand Chamber of the European Court of Human Rights, came despite a vote in parliament that overwhelmingly opposed giving prisoners a vote.
It means the Government now has until September to act or face a flood of compensation claims, which it will almost certainly lose.
At least 4,000 compensation claims from prisoners here are currently lodged with the European Court but have been stayed while the Grand Chamber ruled on the appeal.
If the Government fails to act they are likely to be re-enacted and could pave the way for thousands more.
In November two UK prisoners were awarded 5,000 euro (£4,350) in costs and expenses for their loss of voting rights.

I really don’t give a shit about prisoners’ rights to vote, if you commit a crime that is serious enough to warrant a prison sentence then you lose the right to be part of society for the duration of your sentence and that includes selecting a representative.

What really pisses me off is the extent that the EU and in particular the “European Court of ‘Justice’ ” has infiltrated our democracy to the point that “we” can no longer make our own laws, time for the EU referendum PPP Dave.



A 95-year-old Icelander has left his penis to one of the world's strangest museums.
The late Pall Arason's pickled member will be the main attraction at the Phallological Museum in the tiny fishing town of Husavik.
Sigurdur Hjartarson, who runs it, said the organ will help round out his extensive collection of phalluses from whales, seals, bears and other mammals.
Several people had pledged their penises over the years - including an American, a Briton, and a German - but Mr Arason's was the first to be successfully donated, Mr Hjartarson said.
"I have just been waiting for this guy for 15 years," he said.
Highlights of the museum's collection include a 170-centimeter (67-inch) sperm whale penis preserved in formaldehyde, lampshades made from bull testicles and what the museum described as an "unusually big" penis bone from a Canadian walrus.


Dick head?



Melbourne meat packer Denis Veal says he was sacked for sucking a Strepsil on the job.
Until last week Mr Veal worked for Swift - the world's largest meat processor - at its Brooklyn plant.
Mr Veal said he was given his marching orders after being found sucking on a cough lolly outside the factory's cold storage section.
The Werribee father of two believes he was a target because he had been unable to perform his normal duties since his foot was crushed by a forklift at the factory in 2009.

Company spokesman John Berry said Mr Veal had been eating some type of food, not a lozenge, in contravention of food safety requirements and was sacked in accordance with the law after a full investigation.
Mr Berry denied Mr Veal was a target but said there had been several "performance issues" with his work.
Mr Veal said the only problem was his post-injury refusal to work in the offal room on wet, slippery floors and upstairs in the boning room.

Bah-Humbug…….what an offal story………




An overcooked pot of pigs' ears sparked an emergency call in Darwin yesterday.
Police broke in to a house filled with smoke in the suburb of Marrara and discovered that the pot of pigs' ears had been left on the stove.
Emergency Services had received reports the house was on fire.
Northern Watch Commander Daniel Sheen says no-one was at home when police arrived.
"The owner came home when the police were there,'' he said.
"She was embarrassed to say that she had gone out and left her pigs' ears on the stove.
"If you're going to cook, don't leave home."
The house was not seriously damaged.
Police said they were unaware of what recipe the pigs' ears were intended for.

Darwin Numpty?

And finally:



Action for Happiness, a mass movement to improve people's wellbeing, claims there are 10 key steps to achieving contentment in life.

1. GIVING
Do things for others - volunteer to work for a charity in your spare time
2. RELATING
Connect with people - get in touch with friends with whom you have lost contact
3. EXERCISING
Take care of your body - go for a run.
4. APPRECIATING
Notice the world around - take time to appreciate wildlife in your area.
5. TRYING OUT
Keep learning new things - learn a new language.
6. DIRECTION
Have goals to look forward to - make resolutions and stick to them.
7. RESILIENCE
Find ways to bounce back - learn from defeats to do things better in the future.
8. EMOTION
Take a positive approach - focus on the happy moments of your life rather than the sad.
9. ACCEPTANCE
Be comfortable with who you are - do not dwell on your flaws.
10. MEANING
Be part of something bigger - join a society or club.

Patronising load of old bollocks.


And today’s thought:  "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." - Dick Cavett.

Angus

5 comments:

CherryPie said...

The nice weather seems to have gone AWOL here too :-O

Anonymous said...

There is assumption that prisoners should not be allowed to vote based on the fact that they have been found guilty of crimes. Is it not true that almost everyone has committed a crime of some sort without being found guilty? Stealing paper clips at work? Telephone calls at other people's expenses at work etc.

James Higham said...

There's a very weird museum like that in St Petersburg too. One wonders about the mindset.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

I was just wondering who wants to go and see pickled penises too.

Angus said...

It's back again CherryPie:)

See your point anon, but "most" people aren't in the nick.....

There are some odd sods in the world James and Weshcakes:)