I spent several hours in the grounds hedging, mowing, shrubbing, bordering and vandalising yesterday, and I am knackered, I ache in places I didn’t know I had and vital bits have lost all sense of feeling.
Who said gardening was relaxing?
While people are dying in Bahrain as the Saudi-backed Al-Khalifa dynasty continued to clamp down on protesters demanding a better life.
In dear old Blighty U-Turn Cam was welcoming Bahrain's Crown Prince, Sheikh Salman bin Hamad al-Khalifa with a nice warm handshake.
Until the wave of demonstrations began, British firms were supplying Bahrain with assault rifles, sub-machine guns, shotguns, sniper rifles, hand grenades, smoke ammunition, stun grenades, and tear gas. In 2009-10, arms sales totalled £6.4m. In February the Foreign Office hastily revoked 44 individual or open licences for arms sales.
Apparently it seems that as far as the Piss Poor Policies Coalition is concerned the customer is always right-no matter whom they are.
Is that Restaurants and shops will be urged to round up customers' bills to the nearest pound and give the increases to charity under new plans to bolster David Cameron's Big Society.
The plans include promoting technology that allows customers to make small donations to charity when they use a credit or debit card. Banks will also offer customers the option to donate to charity at cash points.
A White Paper on Monday will set out plans for charitable donations and volunteering to become a "social norm". Ministers will announce a "Round Pound" initiative aimed at encouraging people to make donations using the payment cards that are rapidly replacing cash for many purchases.
A working party of major retailers, banks and charities will be set up to explore ways of making "micro-donation" a part of everyday life.
Here is an even more cunning plan-get us out of the EU and cancel the billions in “overseas aid” and give a percentage of the dosh saved to charities-sorted.
British royalty dined on human flesh, the well-off and well educated in Britain and Europe swallowed parts of the human body, including its flesh, blood and bones, as medicine right up until the end of the 18th century it is claimed.
Even as they denounced the barbaric cannibals of the New World, they applied, drank, or wore powdered Egyptian mummy, human fat, flesh, bone, blood, brains and skin.
He said “One thing we are rarely taught at school yet is evidenced in literary and historic texts of the time is this: James I refused corpse medicine; Charles II made his own corpse medicine; and Charles I was made into corpse medicine.”
"Along with Charles II, eminent users or prescribers included Francis I, Elizabeth I's surgeon John Banister, Elizabeth Grey, countess of Kent, Robert Boyle, Thomas Willis, William III, and Queen Mary."
Which does explain the lack of humanity in the “upper crust”.
A bungling beagle has been branded the world's worst hunting dog after failing to spot a fox trotting along behind him.
The hapless hound had strayed too close to a den containing four cute fox cubs.
But their protective parents were not going to be hounded out without standing their ground.
The foxes shot off through the undergrowth to confront the hound, but, amazingly, the male fox ended up behind the dog.
Naturalist and photographer Mircea Costina captured the scene in a forest north of Montreal, Canada.
The Dog’s bollocks?
A New Zealand bar has come up with a novel idea to help with central Otago's rabbit plague - half-priced jugs of beer for four dead rabbits.
Bullock Bar manager Margo Johnston said the promotion at the weekend was not only to reduce the rabbit numbers, but also because the New Zealand Warriors were playing the Sydney Rabbitohs in a rugby league match in Auckland on Sunday.
'Hopefully it will eradicate a few rabbits from Central Otago farmland,' she told The Southland Times.
The dead rabbits are expected to be turned into dog food.
Really bright idea-that’s all you need a load of pissed “hunters” with shotguns…….
Bet that makes you feel better…….
That’s it: I’m orf to prepare for Doomsday.
And today’s thought: “Don't wake me for the end of the world unless it has very good special effects”.