Sunday, 26 June 2011

Kidderminster woodentops: $6.25 million per headlight: Crap warden: and how to die in the 16th century.

Dull, warm, damp and dingy at the Castle this morn, I am waiting for the “heatwave” to arrive.....still waiting........

I tried very hard to find anything of interest in the political arena-nothing, just the usual old bollocks, so a bit of an update on His Majesty.

He is perfecting his “pouncing” skills.

And he likes motorbike racing.

A Russian woman died of a heart attack at her own funeral, after waking up to find praying mourners filing past her coffin.
Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, 49, had been declared dead after suffering chest pains and collapsing at home in Kazan, capital of Tatarstan.
Doctors had failed to spot she was actually very much alive, and Mrs Mukhametzyanov unsurprisingly began screaming when she regained consciousness to find she was being prematurely dispatched to the hereafter.
Her husband, 51-year-old Fagili Mukhametzyanov, said: "Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital but she only lived for another 12 minutes in intensive care before she died again, this time for good."

If at first you don’t succeed.......

And ‘radical socialist’ Mark Serwotka is allegedly having £26,159 paid into his own pension pot every year – £3,309 more than the £22,850 average wage of members of the Public and Commercial Services Union (PCS) which he represents.
According to projections by financial experts, it means that the former Trotskyist and Arthur Scargill fan will be able to retire at the age of 65 on an annual pension of £63,554.22.

Still....we are all in this together.....

An internal police inquiry has been started after a police car crashed into a shop in Worcestershire.
The patrol car crashed into Vision and Audio Services Ltd in Kidderminster, after colliding with a Corsa in Sutton Road at about 1420 BST on Friday.
One man was in the silver Corsa and two West Mercia Police officers were in the patrol car. No-one was hurt.
The road was temporarily closed between the junctions with Talbot Street and Poplar Road, but has since reopened.
Or you could look at it this way
A police vehicle was involved in a crash with another car that ended up crashing into a shop window.
The Vauxhall Astra police car was responding to an incident when it was in collision with a Vauxhall Corsa in Sutton Road, Kidderminster, at 2.20pm yesterday.
Witnesses said the Corsa ploughed through a small wall before hitting the front of the Vision and Audio Services shop at the junction of Sutton Road and Greatfield Road.
West Mercia Police said Sutton Road was closed for several hours after the accident. Neither of the two officers in the police car or the man driving the Corsa was hurt. The force said there would be an internal investigation into the crash.

Contact details - 138 Sutton Road
Kidderminster, Worcestershire DY11 6QR
01562 822 567 –

They will probably have quite a lot of bargains....

Victoria Secret's Fantasy Bra: No lady could ask for a more ostentatious lift than Victoria Secret's $12.5 million brassiere encrusted with 2,900 diamonds, rubies and other precious stones. Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks are among the supermodels that’ve been pictured in this item since it first went on sale in 1996.
"It's pretty heavy," supermodel Gisele Bundchen said as she joked with reporters after modelling the luxury item last month. "I mean, it was, like, almost heavier than me."
Other very expensive underwear is available from all good stores....

A bogus council warden has made a small fortune by fining people for taking their dogs for a walk on the beach.
The fake official – who was wearing a uniform and driving a large black car – charged owners £75 on-the-spot fines for exercising their pets without a lead.
Last night council bosses in Conwy, North Wales, said they had no dog wardens ­operating at Llanddulas and Pensarn beaches, where the incidents happened.
Environment manager Nick Jones told dog owners: “Do not hand over any money to anybody without first asking to see an ­identification card.”
Police have appealed for information.

But they have no leads......

And finally:

1.      Bears
2.      Archery
3.      Handgun
4.      Self inflicted
5.      Bread
6.      Nut crackers
7.      Mad cows
8.      Maypole
9.      Bathing
10.  Taking a dump.

Click on the header link to find out.

That’s it: I’m orf for a snack.

And today’s thought: In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.



Bernard said...

Glad to see "his Maj" has a leaning to mechanical bits.
And talking of mechanical bits, you know we were mocking elf'n safety the other day. Well.....
May I introduce you to the way things ought to be.
Well at least, not hold you back in running your business.
Priceless......absolutely priceless!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Simi likes the "leads" joke, Angus! And you could always come here for a heatwave....

Bernard said...

When you get round to lawning those castle lawns, make sure 'His Maj" is well out of the way. Why?
"A man was mowing his garden and accidentally cut off the tail of
his cat, which had been hiding in the grass ... The cat was rushed along with the tail to TESCO'S .

Why TESCO'S ?? Well ...... HELLOOO !!

TESCO is the largest re-tailer in the U.K...""

As you, the largest gruel consumer, already knew. :)

CherryPie said...

With regards to Mark Serwotka, he doesn't keep all his wages he pays a proportion of them to the PCS political fund.

The heatwave has arrived here at least for today. I am currently melting!

Angus said...

Wot, no level crossing Bernard the safety elf?

I always wanted a manx moggy....

His Maj also likes technology and has managed to reset the alarm, turn orf the set top box and press the sleep button the laptop, I am thinking of taking him on as am apprentice..

Too late Welshcakes, I am slowly dissolving into the sofa:)

Nice of him Cherrypie, mind you at 89 grand salary back in 2009, plus 24 grand pension contribution, plus 1700 quid "housing" allowance he can afford to:)