Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Where’s you bin: Fit to drop: Flying Numpty: First contact: and Cut price petrol.


‘Tis much cooler at the Castle this morn, with the feel of imminent sky water, the last dark thing was more than a tad hot and damp, the liquid metal scale reached 94f up the spiral staircase and his majesty decided that the best place was in the bin.


It seems that Dahn in Brighton, and up in Manchester up to 40 families a time are being forced to share enormous communal bins as councils across the country remove wheelie bins to save money.
Around 30,000 families in Brighton have been told to share 700 of the “dumpster” receptacles more commonly seen in Spain, Italy and Germany which can store 3,200 litres of rubbish.
A similar scheme in Manchester has seen 15,000 homes using 1,100-litre dumpsters with each one shared by up to 20 families.
In Bristol 3,000 households are involved in a trial operation with up to a dozen families sharing a bin.
Bob Neill, the Local Government Minister, said: “Communal bins are the brainchild of Labour bureaucrats who targeted hard-working households and bullied councils into cutting back weekly rubbish collections while doubling council tax.
“We are reining in the bin police and stopping this kind of bin blight. The Government is working with local councils to increase the frequency and quality of rubbish collections.”  

Sounds like a rubbish idea.



The average 50-something now leads a fitter and more active life than they did in their 20s.
Older adults are reaping the benefits of better diets, more exercise and increased free time to focus on their health, suggests the poll of 1,500 over 50s.
The survey found that they were taking more exercise and eating more healthy food than they were when they were younger.
Free of the pressures of working life and raising a family, they could also dedicate more time to exercise.
The poll, commissioned by the insurer Engage Mutual, found that seven in 10 people over 50 were doing more exercise than in their youth.
A similar number now pay more attention to their diet, eating much more fruit and vegetables and many less take-aways than they did in decades past.
"Current predictions for life expectancy state that men age 65 could expect to live another 17 years and women at 65 could expect to live another 20 years.”


Load of old bollocks, this is all part of the conspiracy to make us retire at seventy five so that “they” don’t have to pay the pensions we are entitled to.



A teenage car thief lost control of a stolen vehicle - and sailed 300ft through the air off a mountainside onto the roof of a house.
The 16-year-old spent hours speeding around winding mountain roads in Walemsee, Switzerland, before taking one bend too quickly.
"He spun the car through a safety barrier and it flew 30 metres through the air before it landed on a roof garden below," said one police officer.
"But the momentum kept the car going and it bounced off that roof and fell another 70 metres until it finally came to rest on a house lower down the slope."
Home-owner Thorsten Baumgartner, 48, said: "There was an enormous bang and the whole property shook.
"I thought at first it was an earthquake or that part of the hillside had collapsed on my property. I didn't expect to see a car on the roof when I went outside.
The Numpty driver was unhurt in the crash and was caught trying to stagger away down the road suffering from shock. 

I know parking is expensive but that is taking it a bit too far....


Russian scientists expect humanity to encounter alien civilizations within the next two decades, a top Russian astronomer predicted on Monday.
“The genesis of life is as inevitable as the formation of atoms... Life exists on other planets and we will find it within 20 years,” Andrei Finkelstein, director of the Russian Academy of Sciences’ Applied Astronomy Institute, was quoted by the Interfax news agency as saying.
Speaking at an international forum dedicated to the search for extraterrestrial life, Finkelstein said 10 percent of the known planets circling suns in the galaxy resemble Earth.
If water can be found there, then so can life, he said, adding that aliens would most likely resemble humans with two arms, two legs and a head. 

They are already here-take a look at son of a B....aronet George (reptilian alien in disguise) Osborne.

 And finally:


Thieves broke into a petrol station at night and sold all the fuel at half-price.
Drivers queued down the street to take advantage of the “special offer”, which lasted just a few hours before the pumps ran dry.
Staff believe that the gang made several thousand Euros from the scam in Fulda, Germany.
Police have so far spoken to 69 drivers who filled up but have warned the rest to come forward.
A spokesman said: “We will find them, so they had better settle their debt before they get an unexpected visit.”

Fuelling the recession?


 And today’s thought: We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.


Angus

2 comments:

Jenny Woolf said...

That photo of Osborne looks remarkably like the ventriloquist's dummy in some act that used to be on TV during my childhood.

Angus said...

The reptilian aliens haven't got the disguise quite right yet Jenny:)