Wet, windy and woe-some at the Castle this morn, the “workmen” finally came to repair the bollards and spent twenty minutes in the pouring rain with pneumatic hammers before buggering orf, his Maj has discovered that wet grass makes you leap about, and the study is half empty of broken doo dahs.
Apparently it is because of a chemical in the body that triggers pain, CXCL5 as it is called, is produced when skin is burnt by UV rays from the sun.
I would have thought that the word “Sunburn” gave them a hint.....
Have come up with a cunning plan-The government should use money from fuel duty to cut the price of public transport, according to a group of MPs.
The committee said that green taxes "cannot be all stick and no carrots" and it called for simple links to be made between taxing things that pollute and investing in more environmentally friendly alternatives.
Using fuel duty to cut the rising fares on buses and trains was given as a straightforward example.
Here’s an idea-why not cut the fuel duty?
Apparently amid the constant furore surrounding binge drinking among Britain's young people, a quiet revolution is taking place. Increasing numbers are abstaining from alcohol in what appears to be a rejection of media stereotypes and peer pressure.
An annual survey of young people's drinking habits, to be published by the NHS Information Centre in two weeks, is expected to show another rise in the number of young teenagers who have never had a drink. This follows nine years of steady increases in the proportion of 11 to 15 year olds who have never tried alcohol, from 39 per cent in 2001 to 49 per cent last year.
And we all know how truthful teenagers are.......
People will get a new right to know how well their GPs, hospitals, schools and transport services are performing under ground-breaking proposals to be announced today.
David Cameron will force public bodies to publish a mountain of data so consumers can measure the performance of the services they use in what ministers are hailing as the biggest exercise in open government in the world.
The shake-up will reveal:
* Clinical outcomes of every GP practice;
* Complaints made about every NHS hospital;
* Performance of clinical teams in hospitals in treating different conditions including lung cancer;
* Success rates of schools in teaching high-, average- and low-attaining pupils in different subjects;
* Sentences passed by courts, including the age, gender and ethnicity of criminals;
* Re-offending rates of people sent to prison;
* Real-time data on traffic congestion, speeds and incidents on the roads;
* The performance of train operators;
* All government purchases made on procurement cards worth more than £500 after controversy over the use of credit cards.
That’ll help with paying the bills......
Lucy the Elephant, a building that has stood on the Jersey Shore for almost 130 years, survived her second lightning strike in four years almost unscathed.
Richard Helfant, head of Save Lucy, said air conditioning, computers and other electrical systems were damaged by the hit early Sunday, The Press of Atlantic City reported. But the structure of the building in Margate appeared unharmed.
In May 2007, lightning hit the howdah, the carriage on Lucy's back. It had to be lowered to the ground for repairs and then hoisted back up at a total cost of $162,000.
"They say lightning doesn't strike twice," Helfant said. "They lied."
Which is why Lucy was never used as a bus depot-bad conductor.
Flower beds are being micro-chipped by town hall bosses in a hi-tech effort to beat thieves.
East Devon District Council thinks professionals are targeting its shrubs – including 60 heather plants taken from a gallery – as prices rocket.
It is buying the chips, similar to those used for pets, for a few pence and will save thousands. It said: “If someone is found with our plants there can be no argument – they are definitely stolen.”
Isn’t modern technology wonderful?
A stuffed rhinoceros head was stolen from the Brussels Natural History Museum, the second such robbery in Belgium in less than a month.
"At closing time, the head of a black 'Diceros bicornis' rhinoceros exhibited in the Mammals gallery was stolen by three people," the museum said in a statement issued after the Tuesday heist.
The rhino robbers fled to a waiting car with a driver, with museum guards in hot pursuit. "They got away before we could catch then," the museum added.
Methinks they need younger security staff.....
I only have one comment-why?
That’s it: I’m orf to impregnate my smelly socks.
And today’s thought: No one is listening until you make a mistake.