Charity begins at the Jobcentre: In or out Dave?: Back in the bunker: Ferrari fishing: That takes the biscuit: and 'Ficken' schnapps.

Here we are again, the big blue thing is clear, the big yellow thing is out, but a tad nippy at the Castle this morn, the study is beginning to fill up with non working thingy’s, and I am orf to Tesco for the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run.

The holiday seems like a long time ago and his Maj is galloping around the garden like....well his Maj.

From this Monday morn tens of thousands of benefits claimants will be referred to food banks by the Government, which is worried that many Britons face a stark choice: starvation or feeding themselves by begging or stealing.

Jobcentres in England and Wales will refer the needy to charity-run food banks that will give them a food parcel. It is the first time in living memory that hungry people will have been passed on to charities in this way.

The move comes amid growing levels of food poverty, fuelled by rising food prices and high rates of unemployment. Under the scheme, people whose benefits have been delayed, or have been refused crisis loans, will be referred to their local food bank. A claimant will be limited to three consecutive referrals – each time giving them enough food for three days. They will be given basics such as tinned soup, baked beans, meat, fish and pasta. 

Ah, the caring, sharing Government, and just to put it in perspective.

Apparently David Cameron must call a referendum on Europe or face a rebellion from his own party and a backlash from voters, a leading back-bench Tory warns today.

Writing in The Daily Telegraph, Mr Pritchard says that the EU has become an “occupying force” which is eroding British sovereignty and that the “unquestioning support” of backbenchers is no longer guaranteed.

He says the Government should hold a referendum next year on whether Britain should have a “trade only” relationship with the EU, rather than the political union which has evolved “by stealth”.

And if we had some ham we could have ham and eggs.....if we had some eggs.......

According to “experts”

A dead satellite will fall to Earth in about a week.

Officials yesterday moved up their prediction for its arrival to Friday, September 23, give or take a day.

NASA scientists have calculated the satellite will break into 26 pieces as it gets closer to Earth.

The odds of it hitting someone anywhere on the planet are one in 3,200.

The heaviest piece to hit the ground will be about 159kgs (350 pounds) but no one has ever been hit by falling space junk in the past.

 

First time for everything....

Over to the other red bit on the map

The world's fastest Ferrari has wound up in deep water after spinning out of control in a road race in Canada after the driver confessed to a 'slight mishap'.

Zahir Rana was driving the 240mph Enzo in the Newfoundland Targa race when he lost control of it on the gravel surface.

The Ferrari spun 180 degrees before careering off the road into the water.

It then drifted back to shore, after being in the water for an hour, where it was hauled from the water onto a recovery vehicle.

Zahir, a supercar dealer from Calgary, Canada, says the custom-made 840bhp car only suffered ‘slight damage’ to the front bumper and wing and is repairable.

Apart from the slightly flooded fuel system....

A single biscuit from Ernest Shackleton’s Antarctica ­expedition looks set to make a packet at auction.

The Huntley and Palmers snack that stopped the explorer and his exhausted men starving to death in 1909 is expected to fetch £1,500.

It has somehow survived intact for an amazing 102 years since returning from the intrepid group’s hut on the frozen wastes near the South Pole.

Specially made for the gruelling trip and fortified with ­concentrated milk protein Plasmon, the biscuit helped keep up the men’s’ diminishing strength as they returned from their trip, called the Nimrod mission. One, Frank Wild, later told how Shackleton made him eat the snack daily to stay alive as they headed home from their failed bid to reach the South Pole.

The biscuit will go on sale at Christie’s in London on September 29. Spokesman Nicholas Lambourn said: “The biscuits played their part in the Nimrod expedition.

“A lot were made and this one survived for over 100 years.”

The highest price paid for a biscuit at auction was £7,637 in 2001. That was from Shackleton’s more famous Antarctic expedition in 1914.

Crumbs, that’s almost as dear as Tesco....

And finally:

East a smidge to the land of boring cars

A German drinks company has won a court battle to register the F-word as a trademark.

Liquor manufacturer EFAG will now enjoy legal protection of the brand name of its 'Ficken' schnapps.

Drinkers in Germany might feel a little embarrassed about asking for the drink - it is named after the German word for "f***."

But the manufacturer can take solace in the fact that the brand name is now legally protected.

EFAG took the case to Germany's Federal Patent Court after officials refused to register the name as a trademark, arguing that it was socially offensive.

Following its legal victory, EFAG now owns the 'Ficken' trademark for clothing, mineral water and fruit drinks, as well as alcoholic drinks.

In its ruling, the court explained that, although the name was unquestionably in poor taste, it was not "sexually discriminatory" and did not violate public morals.

Well...fick me....

That’s it: I’m orf to throw away the dark matter I have collected.

 

And today’s thought: Middle age ends and senescence begins, the day your descendant’s outnumber your friends.

Angus