Sunday, 30 October 2011

Useless, inept, lying U-Turning bastard: In–out NHS: Alien pussy: Posh UFO: Wet guide to Queensland: and some Euro Jokes.


Not bad at all at the Castle this Sunday morn-warmish, dryish and calmish, bit late or is that early, I get confused when they bugger about with the time machines, and his Maj isn’t very happy to have to wait an extra hour for his food.

And talking of his Maj and his love of edibles, he adores his Whiskas, is ecstatic about his Dreamies but goes wild at the thought of a “Chewy”stick, and just to prove it below is a short clip of him climbing my battered old bod to get at one.


And here is a new game-spot the cat, click on the photo to enlarge.






David Cameron's cast-iron pledge to insulate the NHS from cuts has been broken, official figures revealed for the first time yesterday.
The statistics – showing that spending fell in real terms during the coalition government's first year – will fuel controversy over whether the Prime Minister has been honest with the public about the NHS.
The official analysis from the House of Commons Library – which is independent of political parties – shows that in real terms, when inflation is taken into account, NHS spending fell by £800m in 2010-11.
The Prime Minister, whose party manifesto at the last election pledged to "increase health spending every year", has gone out of his way to say the coalition government would protect frontline health cash.
In June Mr Cameron launched five NHS "guarantees you can hold me to and that I will be personally accountable for" – including "not to cut spending on the NHS, but to increase it".


The only thing that has been ring fenced at No10 is the lying bastard’s rear exit.....




A series of NHS executives who quit their posts with lucrative payoffs have been re-employed on temporary contracts worth thousands of pounds a day.
In one case an official given a £300,000 payoff was re-employed on daily rates of £3,400.
He was among 14 "temporary" executives on more than £1,000 a day, according to NHS accounts. Most had previously worked elsewhere in the health service.
The "revolving door" of managers includes one who had to leave a previous job in disgrace after he presided over a hospital whose own doctors said some of its services were worse than the Third World.
MPs expressed concern at the scale of payments being made to senior managers.


Don’t express “concern” do something about you bunch of Wankers...



Siberian air traffic controllers claim that a female-sounding alien spoke to them in a cat-like language.
They say that a mysterious object - which they believe was a high-speed UFO - appeared on flight monitors over the remote Russian city of Yakutsk according to the Daily Mail .
The aviation workers tried to make contact with the ship, as evident in a video posted to YouTube.
"I kept hearing some female voice, as if a woman was saying mioaw-mioaw all the time," one air traffic controller told the pilot of a passing Aeroflot flight.
The UFO was automatically designated as "00000" as it did not have a flight number.
Airport officials have not commented on the footage.

I do like a bit of alien pussy...



LA Galaxy and former Manchester United and Real Madrid soccer player David Beckham's wife, former Spice Girl and now fashion designer Victoria Beckham, Tweeted: "UFO hovering above our house last night!!!!!" X vb" and posted a picture of the said UFO.
37-year-old Victoria has joined a list of celebrity sightings of UFOs.
Robbie Williams has seen them, and just last week, Miley's father and country crooner, Billy Ray Cryrus, spotted his own visitation.


I want some of what they are taking.....




The State Government of Queensland will spend nearly $4 million on an education campaign telling Queenslanders how to get ready for the wet season.

Emergency Services Minister Neil Roberts says the program, which includes a state-wide mail out of a guide to 1.9 million letterboxes, will help people understand potential dangers, advise them how to prepare and tell them where to get more information and help.
The $3.8 million campaign will also encourage people to be prepared to sit it out at home for a minimum of three days if essential services and transport routes are cut.
``Less than 10 months ago Queensland was devastated by one of the worst series of natural disasters to impact our state, which included widespread flooding and the most severe tropical cyclone to make landfall in 100 years,'' Mr Roberts said in a statement.

 Wasn’t Piss Poor Policies U-Turn Cam in Aussie this week?


And finally: 


And before you start I didn’t write them, I am just “reporting” them so don’t get pissed orf with me.

Q:"Why did Greece fail to get the latest instalment of EU/IMF aid?"
A:"Because no one in Greece works long enough to complete the application form."


"A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order a drink. Who picks up the bill?
A German."


In Bratislava -- 'For 400 Euros you can adopt a Greek. He'll stay at your place, sleep late, drink coffee, have lunch and then take a nap, so you can go to work.'" 

Q:"What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland?"
A:"One letter and about six months,"


Q: "How many European finance ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There's nothing wrong with the light bulb."


Q: What economic model correctly forecasts the outlook for the European economy? A double-dip recession, a V-shaped recovery, or something else?
A: The bathtub. A steep decline, then a period of stagnation, then it goes down the drain.


Q: How do you know it's going to be a double-dip recession?
A: Greek exports of taramosalata and tzatziki have plunged.


 I said they were “jokes” I didn’t say they were funny.



 And tomorrow the dear little children will bang on strangers doors begging for sweets, bless...

And today’s thought: Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.



Angus

2 comments:

James Higham said...

Siberian air traffic controllers claim that a female-sounding alien spoke to them in a cat-like language.

They say that a mysterious object - which they believe was a high-speed UFO - appeared on flight monitors over the remote Russian city of Yakutsk according to the Daily Mail .

They should stay on their own planet. I don't know, flying about like this, inconveniencing people in their day to day affairs.

Angus said...

They come here taking up our airspace, never pay taxes or work....