May-be she’s telling porkies: Three core still doesn’t get it: Smokin motor: Parting the moat: Hole in one: and an alien on ice.

Cold, dark, dingy and leafy at the Castle this morn, the study is nicely packed with defunct do-dahs and fat teenagers are sliding into the furnace like shit orf a shovel.

I see that Theresa May (be telling porkies)

Is back on the front pages after Sir Michael Scholar made a rare intervention after crime reporters were told that more cocaine and almost double the amount of heroin were detected between April and September of this year than in the whole of the previous 12 months. They held the briefing on 4 November for publication three days later.

But the department's official Statistical Bulletin showed the amount of heroin seized in England and Wales had actually halved in 2010-11 compared with 2009-10, while the amount of cocaine found was down by one-quarter.

The UKBA described the statistics as "management information" rather than fully audited figures and stood by the decision to release them.

 Lying bollocks-resign May.

And:

According to three core Cable

Motorists should not to expect “freebies” on fuel duty from the Government.

Mr Cable told the Daily Telegraph that the Government “isn't in the position to do a lot” on fuel duty. “We've got a very big budget deficit and the top priority is getting that down,” he said.

Because of changes already made by the Coalition, petrol prices are 6p a litre lower than they would have been, he said.

The Business Secretary, a Liberal Democrat, insisted that ministers have already done “quite a lot” for drivers and do not have the money for more help.

Sigh.......

And:

 

Staying with the motoring theme

According to the BMA (British Motoring Medical Association) all smoking in cars should be banned across the UK to protect people from second-hand smoke, doctors say.

The British Medical Association called for the extension of the current ban on smoking in public places after reviewing evidence of the dangers.

It highlighted research showing the levels of toxins in a car can be up to 23 times higher than in a smoky bar.

The doctors' union said an outright ban - even if there were no passengers - would be the best way of protecting children as well as non-smoking adults.

More nanny bollocks, why don’t they change tack and do something about the Piss Poor “doctors” out there that are killing and maiming patients and then walking away without any form of “punishment”.

Over to the below sea level land

Tourists are flocking to a Moses-style bridge where visitors can miraculously part the waters and walk across an historic moat.

The bridge features a sunken walkway beneath the water level surrounding a Dutch fort.

Architects were keen not to step on the toes of their forefathers by building a bridge over a moat.

Ad Kils, a spokesman for RO & AD Architects, said: 'It is, of course, highly improper to build bridges across the moats of defence works, especially on the side of the fortress the enemy was expected to appear on. That's why we designed an invisible bridge.'

The water forms part of the West Brabant Water Line, a series of moats and fortresses built in the 17th century in the south-west of the country to provide protection from invasion by France and Spain.

Falling into disrepair in the 19th century, the water line was finally restored and an access bridge was needed to Fort de Roovere.

Let’s hope there is a small boy available just in case, I Googled “finger in the Dyke” for the pic......some photos made even me blush....

Right a bit to the place where cheese has ventilation

A Swiss motorist baffled police by driving her van straight down a five foot hole surrounded by crash barriers without another single vehicle on the road.

Driver Ingrid Schneider, from Herisau, told police she'd been concentrating so hard on avoiding the roadwork’s she found herself being drawn straight towards them.

"She said the more she thought about it the closer it seemed to be dragging her in, like some kind of black hole," explained one officer.

"There wasn't another car in sight, she didn't need to swerve, and wasn't distracted. She just drove right into the middle of it."

How close to CERN is it?

And finally:

Right even more

A woman claims she has kept an alien in her freezer for two years after its module crash landed outside her house. Marta Yegorovnam wrapped the two-foot long body with a huge head and stick-like arms in plastic and hid it away.

She finally revealed her “secret” to the authorities and the pictures have sparked an internet frenzy with stargazers claiming they are proof there is other life out there.

Marta told investigators she found the alien after hearing a crash outside her home at Petrozavodsk, Russia, in 2009.

She claimed the body lay among the burning wreckage of a UFO.

Looks like son of a B.....aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) Osborne...

That’s it: I’m orf to get the drill out-I may be quite a while...

 And today’s thought: Q: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.

Angus