Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Not even a plan A (part quatre): EU MOT: Real deal meal: Bouncing basketball: Applied sexuality: and Cor-sa all at sea.

Cold, clear, windy and wettish at the Castle this morn, the study is still lacking in the malfunctioning machines dept, his Maj is still bringing me worms and my lovely young lady has been and trimmed the head hirsuteness.

After wasting an hour or so of my life watching son of a B.....aronet (and alien reptile in disguise) George (I need a torch to find my rear exit) Osborne rambling on about resurfacing the A 12, polishing railway tracks and taking away tax credits to pay for the 5.2% increase in “benefits” I have come to the conclusion that our dearly beloved unelected Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition is about as much use as all the other self serving gutless “political” vermin that is infesting the palace of Westminster in the guise of MPs.

Basically we are fucked; “they” are going to do bugger all to make our lives better-unemployment up, the deficit up, food up, “energy” costs up, go juice up (despite the delay in tax), fares up (despite the pitiful cut in over inflation rises), water up; pensions down, wages down and our standard of living down.

If anyone is thinking of doing an e-petition calling for a vote of no confidence in “them” send me a link and I will gladly sign it.

A raft of changes will be implemented in January represent the biggest overhaul of the MoT test since car emissions were included in the early 1990s.
Initially a motorist whose car fails to meet the new standards will be given a period of grace to make the necessary repairs.
But by the end of the year the necessary repair will have to be done straight away for an MoT certificate to be issued.
The overhaul, which was announced by the Vehicle and Operator Services Agency, comes as the Government considers delaying the first MoT test until a car is four years old and extending the interval between inspections from one year to two.
However the tougher rules are being brought in to comply with EU requirements aimed at ensuring that the testing regime covers the latest innovations.

 And that applies to my 13 year old Honda how....

Restaurants around the world will soon use new DNA technology to assure patrons they are being served the genuine fish fillet or caviar they ordered, rather than inferior substitutes, an expert in genetic identification says.
In October, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration officially approved so-called DNA bar coding – a standardised fingerprint that can identify a species like a supermarket scanner reads a bar code – to prevent the mislabelling of both locally produced and imported seafood in the United States.

Other national regulators around the world are also considering adopting DNA bar coding as a fast, reliable and cost-effective tool for identifying organic matter.

Yeah right-that’s going to work...

Becauseof the NBA lockout a group of nightclub owners appear to have taken things into their own hands.
This morning it was revealed they want to form a basketball league of topless dancers to attract attention to the sport while the NBA saga drags on after nearly five months of crisis.
Rick's Cabaret group's league, consisting of dancers from their 23 clubs, has reportedly said a former NBA star will be announced next week as coach of the New York team, which will unveil its uniforms - we're suspecting some of the most minute ever seen on a court -next week as well.

Gianna no last name, a player for the New York team has reportedly said.

"The girls are really excited. We're practically busting out of our tops.

They won’t be the only ones who are excited...

At the £1,400-a-term International Sex School in Vienna, Austria, corporal punishment is part of the curriculum, not a punishment.
Swedish-born headmistress Ylva-Maria Thompson says anyone over the age of 16 can enrol as a pupil to learn at what she calls "the world's first college of applied sexuality".
Students live in a mixed sex dormitory block where they're expected to practise their homework.
Added the school head: "Our core education is not theoretical, but very practical. The emphasis is on how to be a better lover.
"Sexual positions, caressing techniques, anatomical features. And we teach people hands on."
Raunchy adverts showing a couple making love have already been banned by straight-laced Austrian TV.
"This is wrapped up in a very stylish way but it is just selling sex," said one protester.

Thank him/her upstairs I’m too old for school. My old heart couldn’t stand the strain.

And finally:

Authorities in the Swansea region are asking ships to keep an eye out for a Vauxhall Corsa after it was submerged after being parked on a slipway near Swansea yesterday afternoon.
Despite the best efforts of coastguards, the search for the silver hatchback proved elusive, with it slipping under their radar.
Luckily, the two passengers managed to get out of the rental car before it slipped underwater - although they probably won't be getting their deposit back.
The couple had been parked at near Knab Rock in Mumbles, Swansea, when the tide turned and a local recovery service was said to have been unable to recover the vehicle.

A spokesman for the Swansea Coastguard said: 'We broadcast navigation warnings every four hours, and in that broadcast today we have asked vessels to look out for silver Vauxhall Corsa.

'It is possible it could be anywhere in the Bristol Channel.'

And today’s thought:


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