Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Dead benefit: Proton-Con-ton: Kensington Virgin(s): Marge slips away: Toy lap dance: and Dobbey the red bus reindeer.

Cold, wet and windy at the Castle this morn, the study is still holding onto crock computers and his Maj has finally worked out how to use the cat flap.

Kept being woken up last dark thing by the army firing orf those yellow parachute flares, there must have been dozens of them-I pity the very large computer company building dahn wind which will probably look like a Crimbo tree this day.

Orf to the dentist later to see if my broken front tooth can be saved-or another week of antibiotics and painkillers....


However, under plans published yesterday, the benefits will end after one year as ministers seek to encourage more widows, widowers and civil partners to return to work.
The government believes that the current £600 million a year system is “antiquated” and derives from a time when women were not expected to work and would have needed more support from the state.
Lord Freud, the welfare reform minister, said the current system offered no encouragement to the bereaved to find employment.
Lord Freud argued that the “primary aim” was “not to cut costs” but to make the benefits more effective.
Ministers are concerned that the current process can undermine people’s long-term job prospects by encouraging them to stay at home for longer.

Tough one this, is a year long enough to grieve? Not for me, and I don’t get any benefits....


Or not; Scientists say that two experiments at the LHC see hints of the Higgs at the same mass, fuelling huge excitement.
But the LHC does not yet have enough data to claim a discovery.
At a seminar at Cern (the organisation that operates the LHC) on Tuesday, the heads of Atlas and CMS said they see "spikes" in their data at roughly the same mass: 124-125 gigaelectronvolts (GeV; this is about 130 times as heavy as the protons found in atomic nuclei).
"The excess may be due to a fluctuation, but it could also be something more interesting. We cannot exclude anything at this stage," said Fabiola Gianotti, spokesperson for the Atlas experiment.

Can’t wait, but will it pay the bills......

A large number of scantily clad loonies lined up in the freezing cold outside the Virgin Holidays store in Kensington High Street in an attempt to break the world record for the world's largest swimwear queue.
The young men and women taking part were given the incentive of being allowed to pre-register for the holiday company's famous January sale.
Prices for holidays around the world start as low as £399.
Virgin Holiday's West London store, which officially opens in January, is the company's first permanent high street location not within a department store or supermarket.

I must remember to use the old “bikini world record” ploy at the Castle.

Black Hawk County sheriff's deputies are looking for a thief who slipped away with a truckload of margarine.
The spread, about $50,000 worth, was packed into a semi trailer bound for the Target Distribution Centre in Cedar Falls.
It apparently arrived early, and the truck driver left the trailer at an Elk Run facility on Plaza Drive to wait until the warehouse had space, said Capt. Rick Abben with the Black Hawk County Sheriff's Office. Another truck was slated to pick it up for the the last leg of its journey.
But sometime Saturday night, a driver hooked up the margarine trailer and drove off, according to the sheriff's office. The theft was discovered Sunday and reported to authorities.

No arrests have been made; the incident remains under investigation.

 I bet when the tealeaf opened the trailer he screamed-“I can’t believe it’s not butter”.

A Chicago strip club is offering free lap dances to customers who donate toys for poor children.
The Admiral Theatre will be running its Lap Dances for the Needy event until December 17.
Toys must be new and donors will only receive one lap dance per visit, regardless of how many toys they donate.
The Chicagoist reports that the annual campaign brought in "five car loads" of new toys last year, which were donated to local churches to donate as Christmas presents to needy children.
The theatre is staging Nude Pillow Fighting during the toy drive, in which strippers will compete for the 'Snow Bunny Queen' title.

Already got my ticket and toy......

And finally: 

Eight-year-old Dobbey the reindeer has been hand-reared from birth and is already well used to spending time with men who enjoy a festive tipple.

Animal-lover Gordon Elliott, 68, took over rearing Dobbey soon after he was born when his own mother rejected him – and now the pair go everywhere together, including trips in his van to local shops, the pub and even on and off trains and buses.

Builder Gordon keeps reindeer, camels, emu and wallabies on a field near his home in Enfield, North London.

Now father-of-two Gordon and his wife Marion, 62, treat him like a pet and every Christmas the pair set out to visit schools and nurseries in their area.

He said: “On Christmas morning I dress as Father Christmas and take Dobbey through town to see children and raise money.

“I’ve even taken him to church on Christmas morning. Everyone loves seeing him. Lots of people stop to take photos.

“Marion thinks I’m crazy.”

 She’s not the only one...


And today’s thought:



1 comment:

James Higham said...

Kept being woken up last dark thing by the army firing orf those yellow parachute flares, there must have been dozens of them-I pity the very large computer company building dahn wind which will probably look like a Crimbo tree this day.

Invasion practice, Angus.