Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Leaf power: Dutch bird flu: Croissant crim: Lambo Numpty: Duck a’la Fluffy: and F*****g Crimbo.


Moist, muggy and moody at the Castle this morn, the study remains replete with confused computers, and his Maj has discovered the joy of jumping on my lap, passing wind and then jumping orf and walking away... 

The interweb thingy is a touch faster today-I blame the Government....
 

Not a lot of “proper” news this Wednesday so here are some fill ins.



Car manufacturer Nissan has unveiled new technology that allows an electric vehicle to power a home.
It has developed a system in which its new electric car, the Leaf, can be plugged into a house to provide it with another source of energy. The company’s Smart Home Charging technology is designed to encourage consumers to move away from using electricity provided by the main grid and use their car for more than just motoring.
At the heart of this energy drive is the Nissan Leaf (Leading, Environmentally friendly, Affordable, Family car). In a recent demonstration at the Tokyo Motor Show, Nissan showed how the car can power a home by being connected to a power control system box (PCS) that is hooked up to the property.
In the demonstration, the Leaf was powering a specially-designed Smart House but Nissan is confident the technology could be used with existing homes. The power control system box will go on sale at the end of March next year in Japan, where more than 8,000 Leafs have been sold since the car launched in December 2010. The box will cost more than £4,000.


Absolute bollocks, the “power inverter” has been around for decades, you can even buy one from Sainsburys.




A deadly strain of bird flu with the potential to infect and kill millions of people has been created in a laboratory by European scientists – who now want to publish full details of how they did it.
The discovery has prompted fears within the US Government that the knowledge will fall into the hands of terrorists wanting to use it as a bio-weapon of mass destruction.
Some scientists are questioning whether the research should ever have been undertaken in a university laboratory, instead of at a military facility.
The US Government is now taking advice on whether the information is too dangerous to be published.


No shit-what is the matter with these “people”....



French police are on the hunt for a man in his forties who has held up a series of bakeries in Paris suburbs to steal croissants and other baked goods.
Since December 9, the man has robbed five bakeries in the western suburbs of the French capital, police said; each time using the same modus operandi.
After placing an order, the man holds up what appears to be a fake revolver, points it at the person behind the cash register and takes his pastries without paying.
No one has been injured in the robberies and in each case the value of the goods stolen has been low, at between eight and 20 Euros (£7 and £17).


And I thought that man cannot live by bread alone....



Utah resident David Dopp the Frito-Lay truck driver won a green Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 Roadster, the grand prize in the "Joe Schmo To Lambo" contest operated by Maverik gas stations and teamgive.org last month.
And of course the inevitable happened; Less than six hours after taking delivery of the Lamborghini, Dopp lost control of the 640-horsepower Italian, hopped a curb and spun it into an embankment 75 feet from the road.
Police say the accident was likely "speed-related," although Dopp reportedly says he was only doing 40-50 mph when he lost control of the car on a section of road with a 35-mph speed limit. Dopp maintains he might have hit some black ice or gravel.
 

Or he could just be a Numpty....




Fluffy the crocodile was tasting down arriving on vet Doug English's operating table 10 days ago.
The 1.3m saltie was found near death by the roadside, clenching a recently caught duck between her sizable jaws after being hit by a bus at Yorkeys Knob.
After noticing the injured reptile about midnight, a local farmer braved the crocodile’s feisty temperament and loaded her in his car.
Dr English had to act quickly to save the croc during an early-morning emergency surgery that lasted almost two hours.
"Its guts were all ruptured and spilling out the side – we had to do the surgery straight away otherwise she would’ve died," he said.
Clinic staff were pleased to see her bite return after the surgery.
 

Wonder who Yorkey is, and what happened to the duck.....


And finally:



Residents of the Austrian town of F***ing have given up trying to live down their name and are cashing in with a range of Christmas cards.
Locals have given up on trying to discourage visitors from making fun of the name and have instead decided to turn it into an asset.
As well as the sell-out 'F***ing Christmas cards', local businesses are also doing a roaring trade with 'F***ing beer' and a range of 'F***ing' souvenirs.
The village's name is understood to come from a sixth century noble called Lord Focko, with 'ing' being old-fashioned German for 'family of'.
Local mayor Franz Meindl had previously complained about tourists flocking to the village to be photographed in front of the 'F***ing' road signs. 
He said: "They have been a nuisance for years, some even strip off naked, and the worst steal the 'F***ing' signs. They think it’s funny but a new 'F***ing' sign is expensive.
"There is nothing funny in the name to us. If other people laugh about it, there is nothing we can do. But we pronounce it differently in our dialect and it was never funny in any way."

In the end the village concreted the poles in place and welded the signs in tight to stop them being pinched.

The villagers even had a debate about whether to change the name but decided in the end to keep their name after learning that the nearby German village of W**k had developed a flourishing tourism business.




No sense of humour, no wonder they never watched “allo, allo”-fucking wankers.....



And today’s thought:



Angus

2 comments:

James Higham said...

the value of the goods stolen has been low, at between eight and 20 Euros (£7 and £17)

That's big money for me.

Angus said...

That's almost as much as I spend on a week's shopping:)