Oodles of fast moving atmosphere, wet stuff and a whimsy of white fluffy stuff at the Castle this morn, the study is still replete with misbehaving machines, his Maj has decided that going out is orf the agenda and the butler is stuffing fat teenagers into the furnace faster than even U-Turn Cam can change what is laughingly called his mind.
According to “them” the costs of wind farms and other low-carbon technology will not lead to sharp rises in fuel bills.
The Committee on Climate Change (CCC) says increases in bills over the past few years have been largely due to higher wholesale gas costs.
Members said their "best estimate" was that green policies would add £110 to bills per household in 2020.
It emerged recently that an estimated 1.5m people are in fuel debt in the UK.
The combined gas and electricity bill for typical households could go up from £1,060 in 2010 to £1,250 in 2020, according to analysis by the committee.
But further energy efficiency measures - such as loft and wall cavity insulation - could see the projected 2020 bill fall to £1,085 per household, it said.
CCC chief executive David Kennedy said the committee had analysed the impact of investing in technology including offshore and onshore wind, nuclear and carbon capture and storage.
Mr Kennedy said the cost of this investment was "significantly" outweighed by the benefits - including a reduced reliance on imported fossil fuels.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.....
British officials are to take part in discussions on plans for a new EU fiscal pact, despite U-Turn Cam refusing to sign up to the agreement.
The Prime Monster agreed the move in a phone call with the president of the European Council, Herman von Rompuy.
The decision comes as the head of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Christine Lagarde warned Europe's debt crisis would not be solved by Europe alone and called on all countries to work together to avoid a 1930s-style depression.
It also follows the first signs of cracks forming in the new European Union finance deal signed up by all EU countries except the UK at the Brussels summit last week with the leaders of the Czech Republic and Hungary announcing they will not sign the pact unless tax harmonisation plans are dropped.
Do I give a gorilla’s gonads? Nah...
Dodger the 15-year-old tom boards buses for up to 10 miles, sits on passengers’ laps and gets off without paying. Drivers even know his home bus stop.
Dodger’s servant Mrs Fee Jeanes, 44, said: “My daughter Emily told me one of her friends had seen him on the bus at Charmouth. I panicked and then the bus pulled up and he got off.
“That afternoon I saw Dodger climb on another bus and I rushed to tell the driver. She told me Dodger was always on there. Sometimes he sits in the middle of the road and waits.”
A spokesman for bus firm First said: “Given this cat is elderly we suspect it would be eligible for free travel, perhaps a bus puss.”
I can’t get my bus pass until March 2013...
A North Texas police department is handing out gift cards instead of tickets.
This week, the Prosper Police Department is rewarding good traffic habits.
The majority of the giving happens in schools zone. Police stop people dropping off their kids to surprise them with the $10 gift cards.
"There's such a high concentration of drivers at pick-up and drop-off times that we can safely approach those vehicles," Assistant Prosper Police Chief Gary McHone said. "Maybe they had a safe speed coming into a parking lot, their inspections were up-to-date, they were using the safety belts in the vehicles, and their child was in a safety restraint."
McHone said it's their way to live up to a well-known police motto.
"To protect and serve -- I think this is a key component in serving is to acknowledge and give thanks to our community," McHone said.
UK plod take note.....
An Australian vet is offering one-to-one obedience classes for cats.
Nicole Hoskin claims she can train kittens to sit, stay and fetch.
One of her most challenging students so far has been a 10-week-old hearing-impaired kitten called Buzz.
The youngster needs to learn hand commands because he is unlikely to ever respond to vocal commands.
Dr Hoskin said: "He's been dumped and is going to be harder to re-home so I've had to teach him to pay attention to me.
"Already he's sitting on command and high-fiving with one paw and he can high-10 with both paws over his head."
Originally, Dr Hoskin offered a service similar to puppy obedience classes but the project failed.
"If you get more than one cat in a room, the claws come out," she said.
She says dogs learn just to please their owners, but cats will only pay attention for food rewards.
Tell me something I don’t know....
Thousands of children have been left heartbroken after Father Christmas was turned away from their school – for criminal checks.
The Welsh Assembly has ordered that all Santa’s be vetted by the Criminal Records Bureau.
But the demand came too late for many schools in Pembrokeshire, south Wales, which have been forced to abandon their traditional gift-giving events.
Pembrokeshire MP Stephen Crabb branded the cancellation of Christmas in schools – which often involves fathers and grandfathers – as ‘red tape gone mad’.
The Tory said: ‘Criminal record checks were never supposed to be used for volunteers that sustain and support so much of school life on an infrequent basis.
Volunteers from Fishguard and Goodwick Round Table have accompanied Santa into schools for several years but now felt their ‘hands were tied’.
Chairman Peter Devonald said: ‘Our Father Christmas is CRB checked but we all have to have CRB checks to accompany him.
But a government spokesman said: ‘It is for Pembrokeshire county council to ensure appropriate checks are made on staff and volunteers who come into contact with children.’
That’s it: I’m orf to buy a chest wig.
And today’s thought: