Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Home alone: U-Turn Cam and Clarkson: No coins for the meter: Nuckin Futs: Solar Numptys: and a fat cat.

Lack of low levels of liquid metal at the Castle this morn, the white crusty stuff has been replaced with damp, drizzly downpours, the study is overflowing with ornery ‘orrors and his Maj has presented me with a new stick.

Is to ‘encourage’ those of us who are not as young as we would like to be to move into smaller properties so that councils can rent out our homes to families.
The scheme - announced by Housing Minister Grant Shapps - is intended to ease pressure on young families at a time when many are struggling to find affordable accommodation.
Under the plans, local authorities would offer to help pensioners living in family homes to find more suitable places to live.
The councils would then take over responsibility for maintaining the property and renting it out at affordable rates, returning any profit to the elderly person or their estate.

Just remember you ignorant, arrogant tosspots-every old fart has a vote....

Has resolved to distance himself from the Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson, after embarrassing him once again, Cameron has decided to put as much clear blue water as possible between himself and Jeremy Clarkson, whose latest jape was to involve the Prime Monster in an edition of Top Gear which resulted in a complaint to the BBC from the Indian High Commission over its lack of cultural sensitivity. “The Prime Minister has no plans to see Mr Clarkson in the foreseeable future,” one of Cameron’s most senior aides said.
Clarkson joins a growing list of individuals that the PM is now straining not to be seen with. It includes Rebekah Brooks, the disgraced former News International boss, and her one-time colleague, Andy Coulson, whom Cameron hired as his director of communications because he felt that he deserved “a second chance.”
When he last encountered Clarkson, unexpectedly, at a private gathering in Chipping Norton on New Year’s Eve, not long after he had seen the crass Indian edition of Top Gear and decided that he “did not like it,” Cameron turned on his heel.

Still U-Turning then.....

Has come up with a way to stop us going to town, snacking and making phone calls; millions of 5p and 10p coins could be rejected by parking meters, vending machines and payphones as the Royal Mint rolls out new-sized coins from this month.
The new coins will be slightly thicker, and customers will be left fumbling through their change to find a coin that will be accepted, since some machines will no longer take the old-style coins while others will reject the new ones.
The new coins were originally meant to be introduced last year, but were delayed because of a campaign from the vending industry. They are a cost-saving exercise for the Government, because the current coins are made of an alloy of copper and nickel, which has become more expensive. The new coins, which the Royal Mint started to produce at the beginning of January, are made of steel.
According to the Government’s own impact assessment of the introduction of the new coins, they will save the Treasury between £7m and £8m a year. However, the cost to industry and local councils of the transition will be around £80m over two years.

Who voted these wankers in to power? Oh yes-no one....

A snack called Nuckin Futs will go on sale after a lawyer's successful argument that the word "f..." is a normal part of Australian speech and so cannot be deemed offensive under trademark rules.
The trademark application for "Nuckin Futs" was at first rejected by the register as being scandalous and offensive due to its similarity to the phrase " nuts".
The Trade Marks Examiner ruled that "Nuckin Futs" was an "obvious spoonerism" and deemed it ineligible for registration under section 42 of the Trade Marks Act.
Under the law such terms must be rejected if likely to be regarded as shameful, offensive or shocking to the ordinary person.
But solicitor Jamie White, Director of law firm Pod Legal, who submitted the application on behalf of his Gold Coast client, argued that "Nuckin Futs" was not offensive because it was commonplace in everyday Australian language.
In a five-page legal document, seen by, which catalogues the history of controversial product names, Mr White argued the words "f..." or "" were "now part of the universal discourse of the ordinary Australian".
Mr White assured the Examiner that the product, mostly comprising of edible nuts, would not be marketed to children as his client only intended to sell it in pubs, nightclubs and other entertainment venues.
The trade mark is due for registration in April 2012.

Cupid Stunts...

Solar panels were fitted on a council house – facing AWAY from the sun.
Tenant Gerald Evans pointed it out to the fitters but claims he was ignored.
The retired labourer said he pointed out that the panelling would be best at the front of the property where it would be exposed to the majority of the sunlight during the day
But he said: "I was told the correct positioning had been assessed using a compass."
They continued with the original plan of putting the panels at the rear of his home, on the roof over a bedroom and kitchen.
The contractor, social housing refurbishment specialists, Forrest later apologised for the error on a bungalow in Chirk, near Wrexham.
They have agreed to fix them the right way round free of charge.

And buy a new compass...

And finally:

The Fredericton SPCA is fundraising to help Tiny the cat live up to his name.
Margo Bird, the executive director of the Fredericton SPCA, said Tiny was dropped off in a box on Dec. 30.
But she said staff members originally assumed the box contained a donation of office supplies or pet food: until the box meowed.
“Lo and behold, there was our 30-pound wonder. Tiny and another normal-size cat Rapunzel, he was tucked underneath Tiny. So, I think, they were happy to get out of the box, to say the least,” Bird said.
Tiny is a friendly male with long grey fur and green eyes and, the SPCA says, he weighed 13.5 kilograms when he was dropped off.
Tiny is the largest cat they have ever seen at the Fredericton SPCA. He is three times the size of an average cat.

Tiny moved to a foster home on Thursday and a local veterinarian has volunteered to monitor his diet free of charge.
The Fredericton SPCA has launched a weight loss challenge to help fundraise to pay for Tiny’s food.
The canned cat food is estimated to cost $4 to $5 per day.


 And today’s thought:


1 comment:

James Higham said...

It includes Rebekah Brooks, the disgraced former News International boss

Whom I'm awaiting to go behind bars.