Monday, 16 January 2012

Yacht an idiot: Silly Billy wants war: Cannibal harlequins: Bombing Montecristo: some Chinese bodyguards: and a twenty first century ditty.

Cold and crusty yet again at the Castle this morn, the study is overpopulated with dodgy difference machines, the boiler is nearing the temperature of the sun and his Maj has discovered the joy of putting things in his water bowl.

Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run at Tesco, the Elfandsafety would have a field day...

My lovely young lady has just trimmed my locks, and; A couple more inane pics:


His Maj skating on the frost.

And a cold statue.

We should stump up more than a few million squids to present her Maj with a nice new “Royal Yacht”; Michael Gove believes the present would ‘recognise the Queen’s highly significant contribution to the life of the nation’.
He has written a private letter to Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt, who is overseeing the celebrations, and to the Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, suggesting celebrations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee ‘should go beyond those of previous jubilees and mark the greater achievement that the diamond anniversary represents’.

Bollocks, give her a medal instead-much cheaper.


Silly Billy (baseball cap and room sharing, but not gay) Hague reckons that military action against Iran cannot be ruled out as the rogue state steps up its nuclear threat.
Western governments, including Britain, have moved to step up sanctions over Iran’s nuclear programme, threatening an embargo on its vital oil exports. In response, Tehran has talked of blocking the Straits of Hormuz oil shipment route.
silly Billy said: “We are clearly not calling for or advocating military action. We are advocating meaningful negotiations, if Iran will enter into them, and the increasing pressure of sanctions to try to get some flexibility from Iran.’’
“We have never ruled anything out. We have not ruled out any option, or supporting any option. We believe all options should be on the table, that is part of the pressure on Iran,” he said.

No option then....

There is a real war going on, an explosion in the number of harlequin ladybirds has led to people's homes being infested with the creatures – and threatened native ladybirds.
While the two-spotted and seven-spotted varieties are emblematic of the British countryside, the larger harlequin, first seen in the UK in 2004 and now numbering billions, has become the nation's most abundant species. Rather than feasting on aphids and greenfly, the harlequin also eats lacewings, hoverflies and even other ladybirds.

Rolled up newspaper time.....

The Island of Montecristo is to be bombed with poison after rat infestation, the uninhabited island, a protected nature reserve lying between the coast of Tuscany and Corsica has been invaded by thousands of black rats.

The rodents are believed to have arrived on the four-square-mile island as stowaways on boats a few years ago but have now multiplied.

Authorities are planning to use aircraft to bombard the island with poison pellets in a bid to tackle the infestation.

The plan is to drop around 26 tonnes of pellets on the island at the end of this month.

Who ‘counted’ the rats on Montecristo then.....

Female bodyguards from Tianjiao Special Bodyguards/Safety Consultants Limited had their “devil day” training.
This is the company’s first public female bodyguard training session. Tianjiao Special Bodyguards currently has 20 female bodyguards, the majority of them being university graduates. The girls need to undertake 8-10 months of professional training to master enough defence and protection skills in order to provide better service to clients.
Tianjiao Special Bodyguard Company will send the members of this squad of female bodyguards with the best performance to the Israeli International Security Academy to undergo even more professional skills training.

Not that tough, have a look at the pic...

And finally: the reason why I am a bit tardy this day:

Take me back to the old days

In days of yore when I were young
And we were taught to hold our tongue
When state provided heat and light
And chuff chuffs too-coo what a sight

When jobs were many, housing too
And life was simple-unlike ‘noo’
When go juice cost us just a bit
And cars were rare as phoenix shit

And schools were just as bad as now
Apart from caning-what a cow
And phones were things attached by wire
When black hard stuff were used on fire

When the box had just three channels
And our best programmes came in annals
When summer came and summer went
And global weather wasn’t bent

When MPs didn’t seem as bad
Its really changed since I were’ lad
I wish I could go back to then
And keep with me the current gen.


And today’s thought:


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