Thursday, 23 February 2012

Dear, old NHS: Centrica cashes in: USA UFO: Big Lobster: No pants out East: and Mirror, mirror.

Damp, dismal and a fair amount of positive numbers in the liquid metal gauge at the castle this morn, the Fallic Glu still has its hold on moi, I am “glowing” a bit more than gently and have just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, still dodging the internet robots and watching as the total on the receipt climb to new heights. 

Bit late today-having all sorts of problems with the interweb thingy..

It seems that our NHS may need an emergency cash bailout before the next general election.
And apparently it is all the fault of us old farts: Alien reptile in disguise George (you are all in it, but we are still rich) Osborne reckons that despite the £20 billion cuts and “extra money” for the old girl there will not be enough to provide care for the growing number of elderly patients and meet the rising cost of advanced medical treatments.

Well, excuse me for not shuffling orf this mortal coil.....

British gas has seen a 30% fall in operating profits at its residential energy division to a mere £522m.
The firm blamed lower consumption due to good weather and improvements in energy efficiency.
"2011 was a tough year, both for Centrica and our customers," said chief executive Sam Laidlaw.

 I don’t consider a £522m profit “tough”; more like a rip orf....

Footage claiming to feature the best UFO sighting ever recorded has been released on YouTube.
Reported to have been captured from a moving car near Roswell, New Mexico – the site of one of the most controversial conspiracy theory incidents in US history − the clip has been viewed over 10,000 times.
Stephen Hannard, of Alien Disclosure Group UK, uploaded the eerie recording of the flying saucer.
He commented: “Possible leaked footage of a UFO arriving then landing at an unknown location in New Mexico.”
His speculation continued: “Could be one of ours, CGI, or could be the real deal. As Always You Decide.”

Odd thing is that this “UFO” seems to have the American “star” on it.

A giant 27-pound lobster has been caught off the Maine coast, but it won't be going into a pot of boiling water.
Maine State Aquarium Director Aimee Hayden-Rodriques says Cushing shrimp fisherman Robert Malone caught the monster crustacean in his nets Friday. He gave it to the Department of Marine Resources to deliver to the aquarium, which the DMR operates in Boothbay Harbour.
The beast weighed in at 27 pounds and measured nearly 40 inches long. It was dubbed Rocky because it was caught in the Rockland area, but Hayden-Rodriquez says it could have been named for Rocky the boxer because its claws are big enough to pack quite a punch.
Hayden-Rodriquez says Rocky will soon be released into the ocean because he'll fare better in the wild.

Rocky go home....

Last week in Taiwan, a gaggle of young girls flaunted their assets on Taipei’s MRT subway line — all in the name of saving the world, of course. Mirroring the famed “No Pants Subway Ride” that has exploded in popularity in New York due to the efforts of groups like Improv Everywhere, the women (and some men) bared legs and smiles to a sea of gawkers in order to raise environmental awareness.
The group boarded the MRT at 9am to the shock of commuters and workers alike, and were surrounded by cameras in no time. When asked about their motives, they responded that they wanted to inject some excitement and liberation into their normally monotonous life, while also promoting energy conservation and reduction of carbon emissions (presumably by attracting attention to Taiwan’s MRT).

Nothing to do with getting on the telly then.....

And finally:

Every year, for 84 days in a row, the sun would disappear behind a 1,600-meter high mountain in the town of Viganella. As a result, the town with 197 inhabitants would be plunged into near-total darkness.
Thanks to the work of Midali, a large eight metres wide by five metres tall mirror has just been installed in November to bring light to this town during winter.
Workers also installed a powerful "altazimuth" computer that would move the mirror around so as to capture the sun's rays and convey them on the town's square for up to eight hours a day

That’ll bugger up the Leccy companies profits....

And today’s thought:




James Higham said...

You wouldn't catch me with a lobster in my arms.

Angus Dei said...

First catch the bloody great thing James:)

Feeling any better?

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Angus Dei said...

I would rather stick needles in my eyes....