‘Tis a whimsy warmer at the Castle this morn, his Maj has finally ventured out and the butler has emerged from the dungeon after his marathon stint shoving fat, drunk teenagers into the furnace.
Le France malady seems to be abating, the only urge I have had today is for soft, chewy cheese.
The chief plod has written to the local police authority asking it not to use a government grant to freeze council tax.
The money would be equivalent to a 3% rise to its part of the council tax.
But the force had proposed an increase of 3.25% from April to ease cuts to front-line services.
Maybe they could save money on less braid...
European Union chiefs are threatening to hit Britain with a £1billion cash demand after discovering a massive black hole in their budgets.
The Brussels-based European Commission identified a £9.2billion gap in funding after over pledging money to regional projects.
EU budget commissioner Janusz Lewandowski is now planning to deliver a fresh plea for cash to the 27 member nations.
He said: “There will probably be a deficit at the end of next year for which I will have to ask for extra funding.”
The demand for more cash is on top of this year’s UK contribution to Brussels of nearly £13.5billion.
I’ll have a look dahn the back of the sofa....
The latest thing is Scratch and sniff jeans which smell of raspberries and can be worn for months without washing.
They have just gone on sale at Liberty and Selfridges for £135 a pair.Makers Naked and Famous Denim, who also do glow-in-the-dark jeans, claim the smell lasts for five washes.
The jeans are already a big seller in the company’s native Canada and varieties smelling of mint, grapefruit, banana, eucalyptus and apple are being planned.
Spokesman Bahzad Trinos said: “Hardcore denim lovers don’t wash them for months to get an individual look.
Perfect for us smelly old farts then.....
A Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs fan has paid the ultimate tribute to her favourite film - by having the entire cast of characters etched on her skin.
Annfaye Kao, 27, from Taichung, Taiwan, had the intricate art work inked across her whole back in a marathon three month tattoo session.
The colourful patchwork of cartoons was inspired by a dream she once had about the fairy tale.
Annfaye - who says Snow White is her favourite ever movie character of all time - said: 'The motive for the tattoo started in a dream.
'It reminded me of my childhood and my love for Snow White as she is so beautiful.
Should have gone to Specsavers....
And dahn to LA (Where else) there is the Drive through funeral parlour where mourners do not even have to leave the comfort of their own cars to peer at the coffin through their window.
The Robert L. Adams drive-through funeral home first opened in 1974 and is only one of a handful in the US, which also gave the world drive-through restaurants and banks.
‘It’s a unique feature that sets us aside from other funeral parlours,’ said owner Peggy Scott Adams, a Grammy-nominated gospel singer who took over the business when her husband died.
‘You can come by after work, you don’t need to deal with parking, you can sign the book outside and the family knows that you paid your respects. It’s a convenience thing,’ she told the LA Times.
Apparently the only drawback is that the 3m (10ft) high drive-through area may not be suitable for mobile homes.
That’s it: I’m orf to get my asteroids vaporised.
And today’s thought: