No fuel like cheap fuel: What austerity?: Das Numptys: Over the radioactive limit: Nail house: and a Magnetic iPod holder.

Back to “normal” at the Castle this morn-chucking it dahn, cold, windy and not very clement, the arm is not too bad and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from behind the shower curtain.

 

Allegedly German owned E.ON is going to peg prices for 2012

E.ON's pledge came after British Gas owner Centrica last week signalled that further price hikes were on the way as its costs continued to mount.

The German utility giant confirmed that wholesale energy costs are expected to climb but said it will freeze prices for the rest of 2012 as part of a commitment to be fair and transparent.

Dr Tony Cocker, chief executive of E.ON UK, said: "Let me be clear - E.ON will not raise residential prices in 2012.

"Earlier this year we cut our prices in a way that helped some 75% of our customers and I hope that the certainty we've given today will show our customers again that we are committed to helping them."

 

 But: the snag is while prices will not rise during the “warm bit-har bloody har” E.ON may raise prices at the start of 2013, potentially meaning customers could face higher costs for some of the coldest winter months.

Nice....

 

And according to Tullett Prebon.

Blighty’s austerity programme is a “myth” designed to “con” the financial markets, and that “public expenditures have hardly been reduced at all” and that claims of a “big cut in public spending is bare-faced deception”.

Figures highlighted by the firm show that public spending actually rose during 2010-11 and fell by just 1.5 percent last year.

Government spending is more than £22 billion higher than it was in 2008 when the financial crisis erupted.

The majority of extra money required by ministers to fill the black hole in the finances caused by the recession is being raised from extra taxes rather than cuts in Government spending.

Dr Tim Morgan, the global head of research at Tullett Prebon, said: “It’s high time that this mendacity was exposed for what it is. Government has done very little about its spending, has appropriated three-quarters of all gains in economic output for its own use, has carried on piling up debt – and has tried to pass all this off as 'responsible austerity’.

Well, that’s told us....

 

Right a smidge to the land where austerity seems to be working

A German police force that spent €25 million on new sporty cars found that not only was the visibility rubbish for chases - the fancy seats were so narrow the cops could not get in while wearing their guns, truncheons and other equipment.

The Hesse Interior Ministry ordered 800 of the swish new models – Opel's Insignia Sports Tourer – in a long-term deal at the end of 2010. The ministry says that 200 of the cars have been delivered so far, but it is yet to be decided whether the order will be completed.

The limited view through the back window was also a major problem for the police, said Hölzgen. "I need to see out of the back every minute, every second," he said. "That's a safety matter for us."

The ministry insisted that the car had been tested prior to the order. "The results did not point to any lack of suitability for police service," a ministry spokeswoman told regional broadcaster HR. She added that the ministry was aware of the problem.

Vorsprung Durch Bollocks-mind you even I have a problem getting my truncheon in the Honda....

Left to the home of the detector and the land of the isotope

Last Wednesday, Mike Apatow was getting on to Interstate 84 in Newtown, CT, when police stopped him for no reason he could determine. When the cop told him that his car had set off his radioactivity detectors, it started making sense: Apatow was most certainly radioactive.

Earlier in the day, Apatow had had a bit of radioactive material injected into his veins. He wasn't trying to turn himself into a superhero—just trying to keep himself alive. The off-duty fire-fighter had gone to a cardiology office to have a cardiac stress test, which tracks the function of the heart by tracking radioactivity as it moves through the circulatory system.

Apatow had come to the office after feeling ill earlier and finding that his blood pressure had gone up way above where it was usually. Whatever caused the blip went away quickly, and Apatow went back to work, as recounted at ctpost.com.

Good job they don’t have moron detectors around the palace of Westminster, the sound would be deafening.

 

East to the place where houses are cheap

One stubborn elderly couple created the ultimate road block after refusing to move out of their home to allow a new major motorway route to be built.

Developers were pulling their hair out after 75-year-old Hong Chunqin and her husband Kung refused to make way for developers in Taizhou, Zhejiang province, eastern China.

After initially accepting £8,000 in compensation to relocate, the couple then backtracked on their decision and insisted they weren't going anywhere - after construction was underway.

Dubbed the 'Road to Nowhere', Mr and Mrs Chunqin's house can now be seen blocking the completion of the newly-built road, with just a tiny dirt track linking the two separate stretches.

Similar homes have been labelled Nail Houses in China, following a series of disputes across the country. The reference comes from a stubborn nail that is difficult to remove.

Developers have been accused of using dirty tactics to evict tenants, cutting one homeowner's power and, in one famous case, excavating a 10-metre deep pit around an entire house.

However the Chunqin family, who argue they should be given the choice of where they are relocated to, have installed CCTV cameras to stop a similar scenario from happening.

Hang in there guys.....

And finally:

Back over to the home of body piercing and the land of inexorable Numptyism

A tattoo artist has invented a bizarre way to stay with his beloved iPod at all times – having surgery to implant magnets under his skin.

Instead of wearing a wristband, four small powerful magnets under the body piercing expert’s skin helps the Apple device stay in place, just like a strapless watch.

My brain hurts......

 

That’s it: I’m orf to buy a flying car.

And today’s thought:

What austerity.

 Angus