Thursday, 23 August 2012

Gobsmacked: War on drivers: Naked squaddy: Tennis legs: Badly stuffed animals: and a Vampire rat.

Much, much less lack of cold at the castle this morn, just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run dahn Tesco, two weeks ago his fave grub cost £3.00, then last week it went up to £3.68, then this Monday it was £4.00 and today it is £3.00 again...

I was going to post yestermorn after my visit to the tooth puller, but I was so stunned that I couldn’t put finger to keyboard until now.

The long saga of the front “toof” has now reached epic proportions, as you may know just before last Crimbo I broke a piece orf one of my front “teef”, I went to the tooth puller in Jan, he decided that instead of repairing broken tooth he would grind it dahn to the root and stick a “cap” on it which he ‘printed’ out on his doo-dah.

The “cap” lasted 12 days, so I returned to have it refitted, seven days later it fell out again and I swallowed it. Back to the Dentist, who decided that I would have to have a plate with one toof on it-the plate made me vomit, was loose and eventually broke after a while.

Went back again to the ten miles away dentist, after a very long “consultation” with a junior, and probably the toilet roll he decided that my bite was too strong for anything else than a nice “toof” implant which was going to cost-wait for it-TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED pounds, oh yes £2,5000 for one biter.

After picking me up and reviving my poor old body he reiterated the price and asked if I wanted to “go ahead” with the procedure.

Needles to say my reply was not in the positive, but I did consent to a £50 ransom to have what are left of my pegs “hygienically cleaned”, because apparently they don’t do scale and polishes anymore under the NHS unless it is “clinically necessary”, and it takes too much time.

Why are we paying so much money into the NHS when all we get back is private bollocks....?


The war on the motorist is a myth and fuel taxes should be raised without delay, Pay as you drive road charging and congestion charging should also be widely implemented to raise funds for public transport, according to the Institute of Public Policy Research, which has close links to Labour.
The IPPR urged the Chancellor to press ahead with future fuel duty rises including 3p scheduled for Jan 1.
“Compared to users of public transport, there is no war on motorists,” said Will Straw, the IPPR’s associate director.
“Rail and bus users have seen fares spiral out of control while the cost of driving has actually fallen over the last decade.
Users of public transport rarely have an alternative, while car drivers can switch to smaller and more fuel-efficient cars and cut out non-essential journeys.
However the report was condemned by the AA. “Far from raising fuel duty the Chancellor should continue to freeze it to help stimulate the economy and lift some of the fuel burden from families and business.
A Government spokesman said: "The Government is embarked on the biggest programme of rail improvements since the Victorian era.
"Rail fares make a vital contribution to delivering these improvements. However, we are determined to bring get the cost of running the railways down to allow us to end the era of above inflation fare rises.
"We have also rightly taken action to support motorists at a time of high international oil prices. Pump prices are 10p a litre cheaper than if we had proceeded with the planned fuel duty escalator."

Thanks for sod all-the cost of road fund license is up, insurance is way up, MOTs are up and garages are now charging close to £150 per hour for repairs...

It seems that said copper knob has been at it again, the squaddy formally known as Henry has allegedly been displaying his crown jewels to a young lady in a hotel room.
I refuse to show the pictures on the grounds that I don’t want MI5 banging on the portcullis to take me to the tower but if you are in need of a glimpse of copper knob click on the link over the picture, but I warn you that if you are of a sensitive nature-DO NOT click on the link....

Allegedly 25 year-old tennis ‘sensation’ Maria Sharapova put her legs on display while visiting the Hamptons.

Oh joy, I never knew that tennis players had legs.....


There is a Facebook page entitled badly stuffed animals.
The collection of bizarre taxidermy pictures has attracted more than 12,500 followers.
It includes stuffed animals in bizarre poses such as camel in a suitcase, a dog leap-frogging a globe and a squirrel in a flasher mac.
The page also features lots of animals stuffed by taxidermists who do not appear to have completely mastered the art. 

Love it.....

And finally:

An unusual species of rat that cannot gnaw or chew has been discovered, which scientists say is a new step in rodent evolution.
The rodent, called paucidentomys vermidax has fang-like upper incisors that are useless for gnawing and no back teeth.
The rat, which lives exclusively on earthworms, was found in remote rainforest on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi.
It has a rat's tail, a long, thin nose similar to a shrew's and its only teeth are incisors which are in the upper jaw and end in twin points.
The genus name paucidentomys means "few-toothed mouse" and the species name vermidax means "devourer of worms".

Seems logical...

And today’s thought:
No comment.





A K Haart said...

"£2,5000 for one biter."

Strewth - that's a bit steep. Mine are gradually dropping out and I wondered if an implant might be an option at some point. Not at those prices though.

No more pork scratching for me.

Angus Dei said...

I am still in shock AK, my flabber has never been so ghasted, when I recover enough I will look about for alternatives.