Wednesday, 23 January 2013

The Grain train: Academic Twats: Toilet hostages: Three arses and an ass: Naked in the snow: Burning Brunost: and la puanteur françaises.


Lots of lack of warm, much less atmospheric movement, loads of frozen skywater and limitless amounts of lack of solar stuff at the Castle this morn, didn’t post yestermorn because of a “medical emergency”: his Maj decided to test out Newton’s law of plummeting fruit and fell out of the master bedroom window, he landed OK but smashed his face on a stone pot on the way dahn-blood, snot and drool in bucket loads.
Worried that he might have broken his jaw I got him dahn the Vets for a check up, and apart from a bloody nose and a “painkiller jab” he survived, and after giving the nice man £36 we went home and spent the day sleeping on the four-poster. 

This morn he is eating, doing his business and chasing invisible things around the garden, and apart from a slight limp from the jab is just about back to his “normal” self.

 
And Lovely Blogger has finally sorted out the IE picture upload thingy.

 

As he rambled on about Gord knows what with a bit about the EU and the next election, problem is I phased out after about three minutes and went to make a cup of coffee.

Anyone know what he actually said-or meant?

 

Is that five multinational company’s control 90 per cent of the world’s grain trade, charities called for fresh action to crack down on tax avoidance by global corporations, claiming that the lives of 230 young children could be saved every day if firms paid their proper dues in the nations where they operated.
The new campaign challenges U-Turn Cam to take the lead in championing measures to stop tax-dodging by companies, prevent farmers from being forced off their land and ensure western nations live up to their promises on aid.
More than 100 charities and faith groups led by Oxfam have formed the largest coalition of its kind since the Make Poverty History campaign eight years ago. They are being backed by the billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates and civil rights activist Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
Allegedly five multinationals – ADM, Bunge, Cargill, Glencore and Louis Dreyfus – control all but ten per cent of the world’s grain supplies.

 
Bastards.....

 

Leading ‘academics’ have told Patrick McLoughlin, the Transport Secretary that pay as you drive road charging should be introduced to tackle congestion and cut carbon emissions.
In an open letter they warned that ploughing more money into Britain’s road network will only generate more traffic.
Signed by 32 leading transport academics including Prof. David Banister of Oxford University and Prof. Peter Mackie of Leeds, the letter called for a radical rethink of strategy by Whitehall.
 

Here we go again, a load of tossers that exist in their ivory towers in a city that hates motors think they know how to save the world by pricing motorist’s orf the road.
There are many solutions, one of which is to charge “normal” road tax for the first car registered at an address, charge double for the second car, triple for the third and so on, this would make people think twice about stocking up on transport and may even reduce the piss poor parking problems we all suffer from both at home and out and about.

 
 
Hundreds of Chinese factory workers angry about strictly timed bathroom breaks and fines for starting work late held their Japanese and Chinese manager’s hostage for a day and a half before police broke up the strike.
About 1,000 workers at Shanghai Shinmei Electric Company held the 10 Japanese nationals and eight Chinese managers inside the factory in Shanghai starting Friday morning until 11.50 p.m. Saturday, said a statement from the parent company, Shinmei Electric Co., released Monday.
It said the managers were released uninjured after 300 police officers were called to the factory.
A security guard at the Shanghai plant said Tuesday that workers had gone on strike to protest the company's issuing of new work rules, including time limits on bathroom breaks and fines for being late.
"The workers demanded the scrapping of the ridiculously strict requirements stipulating that workers only have two minutes to go to the toilet and workers will be fined 50 Yuan ($8) if they are late once and fired if they are late twice," said the security guard, surnamed Feng.
 

Good for them, especially the more mature workers as it can sometimes take more than two minutes just to “get going” when one is an old fart...

 

Three thieves who tried to burgle a shop had to abandon the raid - when their getaway donkey made too much noise.
The trio had to ditch their ill-gotten gains in the early hours break-in in Colombia after the donkey started braying and alerted police.
The group had stolen rum, oil, rice, cans of tuna and sardines from a shop in the tiny town of Juan de Acosta, reports Noticias Caracol.
They planned to load the goods onto ten-year-old donkey Xavi, which they had stolen earlier, and make their escape.
But it let out a series of 'hee-haws' and the trio decided to ditch the animal, which was still carrying the stolen items, and make good their escape.
Shop owner Fabio Orozco said: "They came through the roof to rob. They took rum, rice, everything."
The donkey was detained in the town police station for 12 hours until owner Orlando Olivares was notified and came to collect him.

 
Better than a burglar alarm, and it mows the lawn as well....

 

A new craze has emerged-getting naked in the snow, it all started when care worker Leanne Myers, 40, stripped to her undies to pose for a picture playing guitar in the snow with 25-year-old neighbour Danielle Smith.
In a bid to cheer up workmates Leanne posted the picture on a Facebook page she set up called “Wiltshire, let’s get naked in the snow!”
She also invited friends to strip off for their own goose-bump photos in the snow - and 250 people have taken up the challenge in just three days.
Leanne, from Durrington, Wilts, said yesterday: “It is totally amazing, I really had no idea it would take off like this.
“People have really embraced it, and a lot of the pictures are of friends of friends, but now there’s some coming in from people I don’t know.
“I’ve had interest from Abu Dhabi and America and people messaging me saying ‘we’re not in Wiltshire, can we send in a pic?’
“They are welcome from anywhere, as long as they are kept tasteful.”

 
Bugger, knew there would be a snag...

 

A truckload of burning cheese has closed a road tunnel in Arctic Norway for the last six days.
Some 27 metric tons of flaming brown cheese (Brunost), a Norwegian delicacy, blocked off a three-km (1.9 mile) tunnel near the northern coastal town of Narvik when it caught fire last Thursday. The fire was finally put out on Monday.
"This high concentration of fat and sugar is almost like petrol if it gets hot enough," said Viggo Berg, a policeman.
Brown cheese is made from whey, contains up to 30 percent fat and has a caramel taste.
"I didn't know that brown cheese burns so well," said Kjell Bjoern Vinje at the Norwegian Public Roads Administration.
He added that in his 15 years in the administration, this was the first time cheese had caught fire on Norwegian roads.
 

That looks something like my toilet deposit this morn, mind you if a bakers van crashed into it they could have Norwegian rarebit....

 
And finally:
 


A stinking cloud of gas has been hanging over large areas of England after a leak at a French chemical plant, sparking thousands of calls to emergency services.
The sulphurous stench - likened to rotten eggs - is said by officials to be completely harmless.
But police in Kent, Sussex and Surrey began to receive floods of calls from concerned residents on Tuesday morning - and by afternoon there were reports of the unwelcome whiff in Oxfordshire and as far north as Northampton.
The gas, called mercaptan, was accidentally leaked from a factory in the northern city of Rouen and before long had drifted over the English Channel.
It is sometimes added to natural gas to alert people to gas leaks
The National Grid, which would normally deal with up to 10,000 calls countrywide in a day, had received an "unprecedented" 100,000 calls by 2pm.
The stench was reported as far north as Northamptonshire
Sussex Police said: "The smell is from an additive to the gas which has an unpleasant aroma but is not toxic and there is no danger to the public."
The Health Protection Agency (HPA) said the gas had diluted since entering the air over England, and, although it may cause some people to feel slightly sick, it will dispel naturally.

 
I blame the French obsession with garlic...

 
 

And today’s thought:
Orf the menu

 

Angus

7 comments:

Bernard said...

As I understand it Angus, he said -

“Greeting, plebs.”
“I wish to offer you a ‘lose-lose’ scenario. If you vote for me, I will cast in iron, a guarantee to offer you a referendum in 2017 on eu membership. My Blue-labour Party, the few Cleg-overs remaining and Ed Milli & his Band will all campaign to stay in. The biased broadcasting co will also feature heavily along with big corporations to provide us biased backup and piss-poor propaganda for an ‘in’ vote.
All this, in addition to things like - my redefining of marriage, should really piss off the conservative ‘grass roots’ who will still desert to UKIP in their thousands. This will leave the Blue-labour Party terminally weakened for the 2015 election. I expect to lose.
This will open the way for a Labour victory and, as Ed Milli & his Band have dismissed any idea of a referendum, you poor plebs will be locked into the eu for the foreseeable future.
We have ways of making you stay in the eu.
We have spent the past 60 years preparing Britain for entry into the eu super-state, without public consent. We have not come this far to suddenly switch back to democracy and risk it all. What makes you plebs think we ever would?”

Bernard said...

Wesley has just bit my ankle to remind me to pass on our best wishes to His Maj. for a speedy recovery. :)

I got carried away on the above and forgot! :(

Angus Dei said...

Thanks for that Bernard the broadcaster, I still don't understand but I have worked out that if we vote the piss poor tories back in we are stuffed and if we vote the ed Milli-band in we are stuffed and if we get another Millionaires club coalition we are stuffed, so all is normal then...

His Maj says ta very much and is orf to devour some more whiskas and dreamies:)

James Higham said...

A stinking cloud of gas has been hanging over large areas of England after a leak at a French chemical plant

Obviously deliberate. They're French. Anyway, it could have been any open drain in any French town.

CherryPie said...

I am glad his Maj didn't do himself serious damage.

That cheese looks rather dubious to say the least!!

A K Haart said...

Anyone who is absent-minded and loves cheese on toast knows all about the flammability of cheese.

Angus Dei said...

not a francophile then James:)

Me too CherryPie, frightened the life out of me:)

been there done that many, many times AK:)