Monday, 28 January 2013

What is this life......

“I wish”- an ode to old farts.


What is this life if full of care
I really wish I still had hair
I really wish that I could see
And didn’t have that smell of pee
I wish that every time I farted
My bowels and contents were not parted
I wish I still had all me teef
And weren’t so wrinkly underneath
I wish my hearing didn’t whistle
And that my todger was a missile
I wish my body didn’t creak
And that my poor old knees weren’t weak
I wish my brain would work much better
And I was still a young go-getter
I wish that time would go more slowly
And that my old face weren’t so jowly

I wish my paunch was much, much smaller
And that I was a lot, lot taller
I wish that I could see to shop
And read those labels from bottom to top

I wish that every time I shower
All my bits didn’t run for cover
I wish that both my man boobs
Didn’t reach dahn to my pubes

I wish the hair in ears and nose
Had much less cons and much more pros
I wish that when I have a pee
It didn’t look like old cold tea


I wish my joints were nice and easy
And that my old chest weren’t so wheezy
I wish I wish I really do
That life was easy and not poo




A K Haart said...

"I wish my hearing didn’t whistle"

I get that. Mind you, I'm not sure I want my hearing to improve.

Angus Dei said...

Nor me AK