Tuesday 31 December 2013

Sod orf Twenty Eleventy two


Oodles of skywater, even more lack of warm, more than enough atmospheric movement and not a glimmer of solar stuff at the Castle this last day of 2013.

 


Not been a good year for poor old Angus, bits have dropped orf, clogged up and gone tits up, Grimly Dark Orspital  got in touch yestermorn to tell me that I will have to go in to have the arteries reamed next Tuesday instead of Wednesday because "there is a big case coming in" which will apparently take all day in the short stay surgery thingy.

Makes you feel important and cared for-not.

 


But it has been an even worse year for some people-Michael Schumacher is apparently at death's door after falling orf a couple of flat sticks orf the piste.

 
 

The old fella dahn in Sarf Africa finally shuffled orf this mortal coil after a very bad year and to show their love and respect his body was dragged up and dahn the country to be put on show like an exhibit in a freak show for days on end by the "management".

 

Others who popped orf include-Peter O'Toole, Frank Thornton (who is now finally free), Lou Reed and of course Maggie (I fucked up the country more than anyone else) Thatcher, Mikhail (my product has killed many, many people) Kalashnikov, Ronnie (good riddance) Biggs, and loads of others who I can't be bovvered to mention.

 

But there is some "good" news:

 


Ex Nazi El Papa Benedict XVI took the easy way out and "retired" instead of  doing the right thing and expiring, and is now living in luxury in the Vatican probably surrounded by young boys and jack boots.

 


And despite the best efforts of Dickhead Dave and No Nuts Nick the economy has steadied, mainly due to the Private sector, which would have happened anyway regardless of the Piss Poor Millionaires Club Coalition attempts to equal Thatcher.
 
 

 
Who gives a shit......




Have apparently been paid oodles of loot to switch off their turbines while storms lashed the UK over the festive period and tens of thousands of homes were left without power, according to figures published today.

No change there then..... 
 

But enough of all this doom and gloom, let's look forward to 2014, may it be better in all ways than this one, may all your dreams be fulfilled, may your bank balance equal that of the members of the sideboard and may your standard of living rise beyond your wildest hopes.

 And if you believe that........

 


And today's thought: 

 

Yeah right.......
 
The next post will be an old Farts first hand view of the National Elf service...

 Angus

5 comments:

Petr said...

Good to see you back and looking forward to your thoughts on the National Death Service.

CherryPie said...

I hope your visit to the hospital goes well.

A K Haart said...

"may your standard of living rise beyond your wildest hopes."

Such as having Merino wool bed socks?

Anyway, I hope all goes well at Grimly Dark.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Your comment about the honours really made me laugh. Hope you have a much better year, Angus. x

James Higham said...

One of your quieter years, yes. Thoughts are with you.