Showing posts with label alabama numpty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alabama numpty. Show all posts

Friday, 29 July 2011

Booming guilty: Afghan billions: Lotta bottle: Truck Nutz: Just one Gelato: Toyota submarine: and Christmas at Harrods.

Same again at the Castle this morn-cloudy, dull, dry and tepid, the bench is painted and varnished, the garden is finally fettled, the study is still empty and I am still knackered.
 I have cut the stump of the california lilac into a seat so that any passing Gnomes can have a rest (click on the pics for a closer look).

Apparently we old fart baby boomers are the cause of all ills in dear old Blighty, and many young people in Britain are set to be in a worse economic position than their parents.
Shiv Malik, author of Jilted Generation - a book which examines the prospects for the 80s generation onwards - looks at his peers and sees further evidence of the impact a financially tight future is having on young people.
James Morris, pollster with Greenberg Quinlan Rosner and former speechwriter for Ed Miliband, says his research confirms Shiv's observation across generational lines.
Angus Hanton a baby boomer himself, reckons that there are some signs of sympathy among the baby boomer generation. He has founded a new think-tank called The Intergenerational Foundation to lobby for fairness between the generations.
He sees clear culpability on the part of his older peers.
"Let's take my own house [which] I bought 16 years ago for £160,000. It's in south-east London. It's now worth about £1.15m.
"So I've gained a million pound windfall to which I do not feel entitled, and that windfall, at the moment, is tax-free. Were I to sell [the house], there's no tax on that gain."
“It may appear very lucky for me, but the reality is when I sell, it will probably be to a younger person who'll be getting a mortgage and spending most of their working life paying off that windfall which went to me. I don't think that's fair."

So sell it and give the money away then, and let’s not forget the REAL reason for the state of the economy-greedy bankers, Piss Poor Government Policies, unrealistic valuations put on houses by Numpty estate agents, and the “I want it now” attitude of certain people who were given credit cards by institutions who knew that it was a risk but wanted the interest payments.
I do feel sorry for the “younger” generation but I am tired of the whinging and the endless “look at me I am a victim” mantra emanating from those who just want it all but don’t want to get orf their arses and spend fifty years working for it.
Boomers didn’t have it handed to them on a plate, we worked hard, saved hard and now that we are getting towards retirement “they” don’t want us to keep what we have earned.

 Grow up and get on with it.....

Britain has spent more than £18 billion on the war in Afghanistan and significantly underestimated the cost of the campaign in Libya.
The five-year conflict in Helmand is officially estimated to have cost about £4 billion a year, according to Ministry of Defence figures published in a Commons defence committee report.
But the panel of MPs accused the MoD of hiding the true cost of the war by refusing to disclose millions of unseen expenses.
The report added that the bombing campaign in Libya is projected at £260 million if it lasts six months – significantly higher than forecasts made by George Osborne, the Chancellor, in March.
When the first attacks on Col Gaddafi’s forces commenced four months ago, the Chancellor claimed that the cost to Britain would be “in the order of tens of millions of pounds, not hundreds of millions”.

My fault because I am nearly sixty..........

An unnamed 60-year-old got himself into a spot of bother when he slid a milk bottle too far up his rear-end and couldn't remove it.
Distressed at the situation he immediately presented himself to a hospital in Zhuai, China, where he told staff what had happened.
He claims he was constipated and was attempting a rather unorthodox method of stimulating his bowel. 

Wonder if it was silver or gold top?

The police chief of a small South Carolina town will ask a jury to decide if a woman broke the state's obscenity laws by driving a pickup truck with plastic testicles hanging from the back.
Bonneau Police Chief Franco Fuda ticketed Virginia Tice, 65, in early July at a local convenience store after spying the adornment dangling from her truck.
South Carolina law considers a bumper sticker, decal or device indecent when it describes, in an offensive way as determined by contemporary community standards, "sexual acts, excretory functions, or parts of the human body."
The offense carries a maximum fine of $445 but no jail time, Fuda said.
Lawmakers in some states have sought to ban the colourful plastic or rubber devices that go by brand names such as Bulls Balls and Truck Nutz.

 Load of old bollocks...

Thousands of sweet-toothed students from around the world are travelling to Italy to take up a place at a university offering a course in ice cream making.
This year, around 12,000 enrolled to study at the Gelato University hoping to become schooled in the art of making real Italian ice cream.
The university is near Bologna at the headquarters of Carpigiani, the leading global manufacturer of ice cream making machines.
As well as practical courses, students attend technical lectures to learn traditional methods of making gelato. Marketing and management are also on the curriculum.
The courses cost around £700-a-week and students - who come from as far afield as Australia and Sierra Leone - stay in a local hotel.
Those who want to open their own ice cream parlours may have to invest heavily in their dreams, but the rewards can be huge.
As well as the satisfaction of making their own delicious sweet creations, a litre of ice cream costs little to make and can be sold for a tasty profit.

Numpty Wojciech Lapinski took a short cut to dodge traffic on a family day trip - and ended up out of his depth.
Lapinski, 35 - from Gdansk, Poland - didn't realise the tunnel had been flooded by a broken sewer and came to a halt in his Toyota in three feet of water.
Fire-fighters and police rescued the driver and his 86-year-old mum Izabella from the stranded car.
But she said: "It did put a bit of a dampener on the day."

 Another re-call for Toyota?

 And finally:

It is a tradition for Harrods to start their Christmas festivities early, but this year is the earliest in their entire history. At 8 am, 28th July, Harrods opened their Christmas range to the public.
Harrods stressed the need for the early launch, saying that there is an increasing demand from international shoppers for Christmas products.
“The peak for international shoppers begins at the start of July so we tried to cater to this early demand where possible," said a spokesman.
Part of the Christmas range includes exclusive ‘12 ice-creams of Christmas’ collection.
Flavours include Mince Pie, Christmas Pudding with Brandy Butter, and the rather peculiar Brussels Sprout. The flavours were chosen after a survey about what foods makes people feel the most ‘Christmassy’.
The ice-cream will be available to sample from this weekend.

This years’ theme is ‘A Crystal Christmas inspired by Swarovski,’ so customers can expect a glittering exhibition.
There are over 250,000 decorations alone, and prices in the store range from £1.95 for a tree decoration, to £2,999 for a life-sized Santa Claus ornament.
And for the first time there will be an ice-rink on the roof.

Fuck off........its July for what’s his/her name's sake.....


And today’s thought: Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1 1/2 tons." - Popular Mechanics, 1949


Wednesday, 27 July 2011

It wasn’t George O: Swiss Virgin: Navel gazing: Air con clothes: Mooving go juice: and The wheels on the bus.

Still gloomy at the Castle this morn, no new entries for the most cocked up computer tournament, hits on the site have plummeted, the garden is almost fettled and the back is bloody agony.
Late again this early light thing, I blame the weather-or lack of it.

Apart from that life is grand....

I see that the “nearby” Hindhead tunnel under the Devils punchbowl is finally going to open.
After four and a half years and £371 million the 1.25 mile long twin bore white Elephant will be available to motorists on the A3 from today (well half of it will be).
The tunnel, which will be used by 30,000 vehicles a day, runs under the bowl, which is a large hollow of dry, sandy heath, to the east of Hindhead.
The existing A3, between the National Trust cafe and Boundless Road, will be closed to through-traffic after the tunnel is opened in both directions.
The opening ceremony will not be open to the public for "safety and operational reasons", the Highways Agency said.

 Ah the old Twin bore Elfandsafety defence.....

And apparently the Piss Poor economic balls up isn’t Son of a B.....aronet George (Reptilian alien in disguise) Osborne’s fault-according to the Office for National statistics.
It seems that the royal wedding, unseasonably warm weather and the impact of Japan's tsunami are to blame.
The Office for National Statistics said the figures had been hit by the extra bank holiday to mark the royal wedding, the unseasonably warm weather in April and the impact of Japan's tsunami and calculated that growth would have been 0.7 per cent without those one-off factors. 

Yeah right, and if we had some Ham we could have Ham and Eggs-if we had some Eggs....

Beardy Branson is is to move a key part of his Virgin empire to Switzerland, leading to renewed concerns over the business environment in Britain.
The company that owns the rights to the Virgin brand around the world is planning to relocate from London to Geneva in the coming weeks in a move that will reduce its tax bill.

What business environment?

The Belly Button Biodiversity study, by North Carolina State University, asked 95 volunteers to allow a team of microbiologists to take swabs from inside their navels.
And their results may just inspire you to spend a few more minutes scrubbing yours tomorrow morning.
Although researchers found some 1400 strains, 80 per cent were identified as from 40 fairly common species of bacteria, mainly harmless skin dwellers.
But the amount of belly button bacteria present on volunteers varied depending on how well they scrubbed their navels.
New Scientist journalist Peter Aldhous washes regularly and, as a result, no bacterial colonies were found in his belly button.
But fellow science writer Carl Zimmer was hosting at least 53 species, some of which had a surprising provenance, only having been found in soil in Japan.

Can’t see the bacteria for the fluff in mine.....

A small Japanese company may have the answer to help you keep cool: shirts equipped with their own air conditioning units.
With Japan facing power shortages and energy restrictions in the aftermath of an earthquake and tsunami this past March, the demand for the air-conditioned jackets with built-in fans designed by Kuchofuku Co. Ltd. has soared.
The least expensive garment costs around 11,000 yen or $130 US dollars. But for the price, those wearing the lithium-ion battery-powered jacket can bask in cool air for up to 11 hours on a single charge, consuming far less power than that used by a normal air conditioner, 

Do they do one with a heater in?

Apparently a Cow’s stomach could hold the key to creating more environmentally friendly versions of petrol and diesel.
Scientists are investigating how enzymes found in the stomachs of cattle and other ruminants could be used on an industrial scale to break down the tough structures of plant and tree matter.
The discovery and application of the enzymes could help energy in waste plant and tree products in order to make renewable fuel.

The study is being carried out by life sciences company Ingenza with Professor John Wallace from the Rowett Institute in Aberdeen and ARK-Genomics at Edinburgh's Roslin Institute. 

And if they succeed the Gov will slap three hundred percent tax on it.

 And finally:

Chinese bus driver who was pushing his pink pride and joy to the limit during peak hour traffic didn't even realise the rear wheels had rolled away.
Thinking that it was just a pot hole that had damaged the buses suspension, 48-year-old driver Shi Shao continued puttering along until worried passengers rang the bell and notified him that the entire back end was scraping along the ground.
With sparks flying from the undercarriage Mr Shi immediately stopped in the middle of a busy road to wait for a tow truck. However, as a result the bus brought rush hour traffic in the city of Shaoyang to a standstill.

I had a motor like that once-think it was a Vauxhall.....

 And today’s thought: If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.


Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Girl in a box; Leaf shooter; Turner “Art”; MOD mistake; and the Fake Shroud

Weather-dark, wet and warm, found my glasses in the washing basket (don’t ask) and Cameron is taking the piss-again.

It appears that if the Tories stagger into power at the next election millions of men now in their fifties will have to work for an extra year before they receive their state pension.

Shadow chancellor George Osborne will raise the state pension age from 65 to 66 from 2016 if the Tories win the next election, to help tackle UK debts.

He has also not ruled out a rise in pension age for women towards 66.

The government has already announced plans to raise the state pension age to 66 but between 2024 and 2026.

Bringing the move forward would mean many more people than previously expected, particularly those aged between 49 and 59, having to work a year longer before qualifying for a state pension.

Conservative Party sources say the change would save £13bn a year from the budget deficit, about 0.75% of GDP each year.

That’s something to look forward to isn’t it.

And the other little snippet from “the Conference” is that Boris has put his size twenty fours in his facial orifice again, this time over bankers; ‘Boris Johnson has come to the defence of City bankers, saying they make a vital contribution to the British economy despite being "pariahs".
The mayor of London said he knew he was "out on a limb" in praising bankers, whose excesses many blame for the financial crisis.’

Nice one BJ

And now for the important stuff;

First up:

An Alabama woman has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child after police say she let her daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of their van.

Albertville Police spokesman Sgt. Jamie Smith said the 37-year-old woman was arrested Sunday after police received a call about a minivan on a state highway with a child riding on top.

Smith said the woman told police the box was too big to go inside the van, and that her daughter was inside the box to hold it down.

Smith said the mother told officers it was safe because she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger.

The 13-year-old daughter wasn’t harmed and was turned over to a relative. A jail worker said the mother was out on bond Monday

I think the picture says it all.

A man pleaded not guilty to armed assault with intent to murder after police said he shot his neighbour over a leaf-dumping dispute. Christopher Leonard was released Monday on $20,000 bail following his arraignment in Quincy District Court. Police said the 38-year-old shot his neighbour John Rota in the stomach Friday when they got into an argument over the disposal of leaves near their Randolph homes.

Authorities said Rota was taken to Boston Medical Center and later released.

Rota told police that Leonard always carried his gun, even when cutting the lawn or playing with the kids in the yard.
Norfolk County District Attorney's Office said Leonard is moving out of the Randolph home.
It was unclear if Leonard had hired an attorney.

The most frightening thing is-“Leonard always carried his gun, even when playing with the kids in the yard.”

It is here again the “prestigious” Turner prize debacle, this years “Artwork” consists of: The skeleton of a sperm whale is competing with the brain of a cow for this year's Turner Prize.

"Leviathan Edge" (2009) is a partial skeleton of a male sperm whale visible through narrow slits in the wall.

Lucy Skaer, the only woman among the nominees.

Her works include tall, black, skittle-like sculptures made with coal dust and arranged in rows and in a pile on the floor.

Scottish-based Richard Wright, who specialises in large wall paintings made for specific spaces, has adorned the far wall of a room with symmetrical, intricate gold-leaf patterns.

Italian-born Enrico David presents "Absuction Cardigan" (2009), a collage of sculptures, paintings and papier-mâché "eggmen" described by the exhibition as a "parade of unruly characters" that represent the artist himself.

Finally, Richard Hiorns has covered half of a gallery floor with the black and grey metal dust of an atomised passenger aircraft engine, in a work designed to question our faith in technology and remind us of our own mortality.

Further works hanging on the walls contain cows' brains.

You can see the so called exhibits here.

I have an old microwave in the shed with a spider’s web in it, think that would qualify?

The Defence Manual of Security is intended to help MoD, armed forces and intelligence personnel maintain information security in the face of hackers, journalists, foreign spies and others.

But the 2,400-page restricted document has found its way on to Wikileaks, a website that publishes anonymous leaks of sensitive information from organisations including governments, corporations and religions.

Known in the services as Joint Services Protocol 440 (JSP 440), it was published in 2001. As Wikileaks notes, it is the document that is used as justification for the monitoring of certain websites, including Wikileaks itself.

Wikileaks was also behind the memorable leaks of the British National Party membership list, the operating procedures at Guantanamo Bay and the secret workings of the Church of Scientology.

Makes you feel safe doesn’t it?

And finally:

The Shroud of Turin has been reproduced, according to Italian scientists, who claimed their experiment proved that the linen some Christians revere as Jesus’ burial cloth is a medieval fake.

The shroud, measuring 14 feet, 4 inches by 3 feet, 7 inches, bears the image, reversed like a photographic negative, of a crucified man some believers say is Christ.

And shows the back and front of a bearded man with long hair, his arms crossed on his chest, while the entire cloth is marked by what appears to be rivulets of blood from wounds in the wrists, feet and side.

Carbon dating tests by laboratories in Oxford, Zurich and Arizona in 1988 caused a sensation by dating it from between 1260 and 1390. Sceptics said it was a hoax, possibly made to attract the profitable medieval pilgrimage business.

Mr Garlaschelli reproduced the full-sized shroud using materials and techniques that were available in the Middle Ages.

Scientists placed a linen sheet flat over a volunteer and then rubbed it with a pigment containing traces of acid. A mask was used for the face.

The pigment was then artificially aged by heating the cloth in an oven and washing it, a process which removed it from the surface but left a fuzzy, half-tone image similar to that on the shroud.
He believes the pigment on the original shroud faded naturally over the centuries.

They then added blood stains, burn holes, scorches and water stains to achieve the final effect.

The Catholic Church does not claim the shroud is authentic nor that it is a matter of faith, but says it should be a powerful reminder of Christ's passion.

One of Christianity's most disputed relics; it is locked away at Turin Cathedral in Italy and rarely exhibited. It was last on display in 2000 and is due to be shown again next year.

Bet it won’t stop people wanting to see it though.