Lying bollocks-resign May.
Oh yeah-what’s this then...
Absolute bollocks-everyone knows that all the aliens are in the Houses of Parliament....
That’s it: I’m orf to hunt for the Stuxnet worm.
Need a nice quiet hobby, one that you can do outdoors? Try Anvil Shooting the pastime, which has a small but passionate following in the southern and western United States, is largely self-explanatory: using gunpowder to fire an anvil up to 200 feet in the air. It is also known as anvil launching and anvil firing.
There is even a world champion anvil shooter, a burly Missourian with the unlikely name of Gay Wilkinson.
It involves placing one anvil upside-down on the ground, filling a brick-shaped cavity in its underside with black powder, and then carefully – with a thick paper patch to prevent sparks – placing another on top of it.
Then the anvil-shooter lights the fuse and runs as fast as he can out of the blast radius.
Although the hefty 100lb anvil reaches an impressive height – Mr Wilkinson claims 200 feet is about the record – it tends to be return to Earth fairly close to where it started. Presumably wind drift is not a significant problem.
Watch the video, all the family can join in and your neighbours will love you, but don’t try it on your balcony if you live in a flat.
In the time since, they have managed to take over all the “top” jobs in the world-Presidents, Prime Ministers, Scientists , Government and all the other "Powers That Be".
And in an effort to destroy our world they have changed things so badly that they have almost succeeded with their plan.
That is the problem with our world: the aliens have taken power and are leading us down the path to oblivion.
Because I can’t see another reason for the firkin state we are in, nobody who is on the side of humanity would have taken the decisions that have been made.
Nobody that actually cares about people would destroy our civilisation by Firking up the economy and the atmosphere, by encouraging us to spend, spend, spend and keep buying millions of new cars, and take cheap flight holidays.
No one who is “Human” would allow all the pointless wars and famine and poverty that exist today.
And no one who cares would let us get as far along the road to the Apocalypse as we have travelled.
So there you have it: we are being ruled by aliens who are trying to destroy us.
And the answer to our problems? Put a proverbial “Atom Bomb” under the “leaders” by using the power of words, and send them back to their own world.