Showing posts with label apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label apocalypse. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Getting there

Sod all solar stuff, twice as much lack of warm, even less skywater (yet) and not much atmospheric movement at the Castle this morn, I discovered yesterday that my land line hasn’t been working for two weeks (and there’s me thinking that nobody loved me), so I contacted my provider-Orange/EE to “sort it out”

Har-fucking-har, sent an email because they only have an 0844 phone number which costs more than the national debt per minute, then got a phone call on my land line which I couldn’t answer because of the noise on the line, then got a call on my Orange/EE mobile and spoke to a very nice lady who said she would transfer me to the “technical dept” and after ten minutes on hold told me she couldn’t because of “technical difficulties” and she would ring me back tomorrow (today).

The nice lady did indeed ring me again on my Orange/EE mobile and after ten minutes on hold told me that she couldn’t transfer me to the “technical dept” because of “technical difficulties”, the upshot was that I would have to phone the 0844 number (which costs more than the national debt per minute) and press option 1, 2 and 4 and I would be able to speak to “someone” about it.

Did that, spoke to a chap who appears to live in India who said he would transfer me to someone who could help, after ten minutes on hold I managed to speak to another chap who appears to live in India who then asked me for my landline number, two letters of my password and then put me on hold for another ten minutes; and then the credit on my mobile ran out and I was cut orf.

Sent Orange/EE a bit more than stiff email explaining the “situation” and am still awaiting a reply.

But apart from the piss poor service, the cost and waste of time how the fuck can some plonker living thousands of miles away repair my bollixed up landline here in barmy Blighty?

Just returned from the appointment with my General Medic and gave him the list of side effects from my recent encounter with Tampax Champix, he was quite impressed but, as all medics do tried to persuade me not to give up giving up the smokes, I decided that just to make him happy I would consider it.

 But at least I do feel a bit better this two days before the apocalypse morn, think I will wait until the 22n’d to make what is left of my mind up.

And a few more pressies for those in need of feeling wanted.










And today’s thought:
Been there, done that.



Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Lifestyle NHS: Bouncy injuries: Capsulated char: Cambridge terminators: Half an Ark: and the worst scam........ in the world.

Numbing amounts of lack of warm, niggling amounts of atmospheric movement, Nano amounts of skywater and not a glimpse of solar stuff at the Castle this morn, I wasn’t able to post yestermorn because I couldn’t access my Google/blogger account thingy, quite miffing but I did manage to start on the clean up after all the decorating.

According to Tory MP and GP Phillip Lee those of us who are unfortunate to suffer from ‘lifestyle-related diseases’ such as type 2 diabetes should be made to pay for their prescriptions.
Lee said that to ensure that people could continue to access care when they needed it; the NHS needed a fundamental reform. He told the audience at the Institute of Economic Affairs that the government and the public needed to recognise that the way the NHS had been set up for a generation of ‘stoic’ British people was now no longer viable and take steps to reform it accordingly, otherwise the health system faced what he alarmingly described as ‘collapse’.
In order to encourage patients to take responsibility for their own health, as well as saving what he estimates from FOI requests to the Health Department to be around £400 million, Lee proposes removing the right to free prescriptions for those with diabetes and other similar illnesses. He also praised the Danish system of giving a patient a budget for their prescriptions, which they would have to top up themselves if they exceeded, and suggested that all GPs should dispense medicines. Insisting that this was not part of a desire to privatise the health care system or prevent it from being free at the point of access, he said: ‘I just think that we have got to have an affordable system that rewards individual responsibility.’

This is the thin end of the wedge that could lead to smokers, drinkers and the not so slim being charged for treatment from the dear old lady.

But what about those “other lifestyle” medical needs-the joggers who damage themselves wearing out the pavements, the weekend footballers who damage others on the pitch, the speeding drivers who crash and damage themselves and others on the black, pothole infested driving things and all other self inflicted injuries from diy, athletics, rugby, tennis, squash and other assorted “pastimes”.
It will never work; we pays our stamp and we are entitled to treatment, no matter what the cause of our “illness” is, smokers pay way more tax into the coffers than they take out from the NHS, excessive drinkers are just a pain in the arse and should know better, larger than life people should probably consume less fatty stuff (if they can afford it), but none of these “lifestyles” is the concern of  The Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition, Blighty is supposedly a “free” land where we pay our taxes, some of us obey the laws, and the function of Government is to keep us safe, control the economy and keep the fuck out of our business.

Sadly “they” have done none of these things, so “they” look for someone to blame-us.


Excitable children suffered an “alarming increase” in injuries while jumping on inflatable’s, Researchers studying hospital statistics found a 15-fold increase in wounds including broken bones, head injuries and cuts since 1995.
Fractures, strains and sprains were found to be the most common injury, with one in five hurt children reporting damage to the head or neck.
Current advice from the Boys’ Brigade, the youth organisation, cites statistics showing approximately 10,000 injuries arising from bouncy castles in the UK every year.
It claims 4,000 of these were caused by playing on inflatable’s in private homes, while the remainder were at public events.
Most of the injuries are caused by children bouncing off the inflatable and onto the ground, being hit by other children or just falling awkwardly” the charity’s guidance notes. “
Researchers writing in the journal Paediatrics are now calling for safety guidelines, as they find 43 per cent of all bouncy castle-related injuries are caused by falls.
Other painful accidents were caused by children attempting spectacular stunts or colliding with one another.

Simple solution-don’t inflate the stupid things...


The latest thing in the world of brews is Tê, a pod-based tea maker prototype which could signal the demise of the very bag itself.
The firm behind the new system claims it features "a disposable capsule and the ability to reduce brew time and increase drink quality".
The Tê system brews tea in two minutes, rather than the traditional four that is recommended by tea companies, it also allows users to select the strength of their tea; prices of capsules would vary depending on the quality of the tea, and the machines would likely be cheaper than some coffee machines.


Tea bags are recyclable, what do you do with the plastic capsule?


The Centre for the Study of Existential Risk (CSER) will study dangers posed by biotechnology, artificial life, nanotechnology and climate change.
The scientists said that to dismiss concerns of a potential robot uprising would be “dangerous”.
“The seriousness of these risks is difficult to assess, but that in itself seems a cause for concern, given how much is at stake,” the researchers wrote on a website set up for the centre.
The CSER project has been co-founded by Cambridge philosophy professor Huw Price, cosmology and astrophysics professor Martin Rees and Skype co-founder Jaan Tallinn.
“It seems a reasonable prediction that some time in this or the next century intelligence will escape from the constraints of biology,” Prof Price told the AFP news agency.
“What we’re trying to do is to push it forward in the respectable scientific community.”
He added that as robots and computers become smarter than humans, we could find ourselves at the mercy of “machines that are not malicious, but machines whose interests don’t include us”.

If we are still here the centre will launch next year.

Who pays for this bollocks...?


Lu Zhenghai from Urumqi, China was afraid the rumours about the apocalypse happening in December of 2012 might be true, so he decided to follow Noah’s example and build an ark.
He spent all his life savings of 1 million Yuan ($160,500) on building his apocalypse proof boat, capable of keeping him safe in case of a disastrous flood. The vessel, designed by Lu himself, is 21.2 meters long, 15.5 meters wide, 5.6 meters high and displaces about 140 tons of water. It’s not much to look at, but Lu claims that once it’s finished, it will fulfil its purpose.
The new Noah started working on his DIY ark in 2010, but after two years of constant spending, he has exhausted all his financial resources. With less than a month to go before the dreaded deadline, the boat still needs about a million Yuan in equipment to be ready.
Just in case the 2012 apocalypse doesn’t happen, Lu plans to use his boat to offer sightseeing tours on the Tarim River, combat floods and provide ferry services.

Maybe he could go to the bank for a loan-after all they won’t need the money after December...

And finally: 

Got this in the email this morn (when I finally managed to log in).

Information reaching my desk shows that you are the next on the list to receive a compensation amount of 500,000.00 GBP (Five hundred thousand Great British Pounds). You are receiving this compensation because your email, amongst others, was submitted to us by the anti-fraud unit of the Interpol as previously scammed victims. This compensation was provided by the United Nations as reconciliation.

We have instructed our bankers to transfer 500,000.00 GBP to your bank account without delays. Details of our bankers are as follows:

Bank Name: NatWest Bank PLC – Edinburgh Branch – United Kingdom
Tel: +447024055365
Fax: +447040905126
Contact Person: Sharon Burnett (General Fund Manager)

Please kindly send the below information to our bankers to enable them transfer your funds immediately.

1. Full names
2. Residential address
3. Phone/ Mobile number
4. Fax number
5. Email address
6. Reference code (Your reference code is HM-099118)
7. Bank account details
8. Copy of your international passport or driver’s license

You should send the above details by fax. Their fax number is +447040905126. They will transfer 500,000.00 GBP to your account as soon as you have faxed your information to them. It will take only three working days to receive your funds.

Please inform us as soon as you receive your money

Best Regards

Rt Hon Alistair Darling MP
Chancellor of the Exchequer
HM Treasury
1 Horse Guards Road
United Kingdom

Tel: +447024075301

Spot the error...


And today’s thought:



Tuesday, 21 April 2009


First up, something I agree with completely-Olympian: Bikinis better for volleyball -

A three-time Olympian from California says the two-piece bikinis sported by many beach volleyball players are more than fashion, they're function.

Holly McPeak, 39, who brought home the bronze from the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, Greece, said players are given the option of wearing a more modest one-piece uniform but that choice comes with some uncomfortable side-effects, ABC News reported Monday.

"When you dive, the sand goes down the top and collects in the bottom," she said.

Absolutely, there’s nothing worse than sand in the bottom.

The end of the world-Many Dutch prepare for 2012 apocalypse - Thousands of people in the Netherlands say they expect the world to end in 2012, and many say they are taking precautions to prepare for the apocalypse.

The Dutch-language de Volkskrant newspaper said it spoke to thousands of believers in the impending end of civilization, and while theories on the supposed catastrophe varied, most tied the 2012 date to the end of the Mayan calendar, Radio Netherlands reported Monday.

De Volkskrant said many of those interviewed are stocking up on emergency supplies, including life rafts and other equipment.

Some who spoke to the newspaper were optimistic about the end of civilization.
"You know, maybe it's really not that bad that the Netherlands will be destroyed," Petra Faile said. "I don't like it here anymore. Take immigration, for example. They keep letting people in. And then we have to build more houses, which makes the Netherlands even heavier. The country will sink even lower, which will make the flooding worse."

OK, but just one question, if the world is going to end in 2012 why are they stocking up on food?

Are we alone?- UFO’s Hit Romanian Plane The Romanian Defense Ministry has confirmed that a fighter plane was struck by four unidentified flying objects and released a video of the incident.
The ministry said the MIG 21 Lancer fighter plane was struck by the objects during an Oct. 31, 2007, check flight but was able to land safely, reported Friday.
Lt. Col. Nicolae Grigorie said a video recorded by cameras onboard the plane depicts "two solid bodies, which are not translucid."

Grigorie said authorities are working to determine what the objects could have been.
"They couldn't be birds because there are no birds in Europe able to fly so high. And they couldn't be ice bodies because it was a clear sky -- neither could they be pieces of another plane or a meteor," he said.

He said the government has ruled out rocket launches and ground artillery fires as causes of the incident.

Men: do not read this-nutless nut job A Minnesota man has learned an important lesson: If you want your testicles removed, leave it to the professionals.

St. Paul police are looking for two or three people Russell Daniel Angus hired to remove his testicles a couple of weeks ago after medical professionals refused to do it, the Star Tribune in Minneapolis reported Tuesday. The 62-year-old man, whose testicles were causing him chronic pain, had the procedure done in a makeshift operating room in his home.

According to authorities, Angus was unconscious during the surgery but awoke to find himself bleeding profusely from the groin area and those responsible gone, the Minneapolis newspaper reported. He called his daughter and she, in turn, called for help.

Angus isn't telling police who the mystery surgeons are because he doesn't want them to get in trouble. His wife only told police her husband spends a lot of time on the Internet and their daughter told them she didn't want them searching his house. Police had to get a search warrant to look through the home.

Makes my eyes water just hinking about it, by the way he is no relation.

Shortage of bees not here A Miami beekeeper said he removed the second largest hive he has encountered in his 20-year career -- about 3 million bees -- from a home.

Beekeeper Adrian Valero said he was called to remove the hive after three people in the area were stung by the bees, which residents of the house said had been around for about a year, WSVN-TV, Miami, reported Wednesday.

Valero said it was not surprising that the bees had stung locals.
"These are Italian bees," he said. "They are a little bit aggressive if you bother them too much."

The beekeeper said the hive, which was large enough to produce 60 pounds of honey, was moved to a bee farm far from the neighborhood.

Italian eh? Bloody immigrants!

And finally:- Woman kept robber as sex slave - Russian police said a female hairdresser was arrested for allegedly keeping an unsuccessful armed robber bound as a sex slave for two days.

Web site quoted police as saying the 32-year-old man entered the hair salon at about 5 p.m. March 14, brandished a gun and demanded money from workers and customers, The Moscow Times reported Wednesday.

However, the 28-year-old hairdresser, who had martial arts training, disarmed the man and bound him using hair-dryer cord.

Police told that the woman then allegedly kept the man gagged and handcuffed to a radiator for 48 hours. She is accused of forcing him to take Viagra and forcing him to have sex with her multiple times.

The woman let her prisoner go March 16 and he went to police after seeking treatment for injuries to his genitals.

The Web site said the man filed a complaint asking for the hairdresser to be brought up on charges for "actions of a sexual nature." The woman filed a complaint the next day seeking armed robbery charges against the man.

"I don't know what's going to happen now," quoted a police source as saying. "We could put both of them behind bars: him for robbery, her for rape and assault."

It just goes to show, hairdressers are armed with lethal weapons, and little blue pills.

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” General George Patton


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico