Showing posts with label armageddon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label armageddon. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 August 2012

No aid for U-Turn Cam: Big ball for Armageddon: How to assault your TV: Great wall Wallies: and Thames town.

Quite a lot of solar activity, not a jot of atmospheric movement and a dribble of lack of cold stuff at the Castle this morn, I am hoping to do a bit of vandalism on the garden and try to stop his Maj from kidnapping frogs.

And the interweb thingy seems to have gorn tits up-again.

U-Turn Cam fielded a pre-recorded question from an emotional cancer patient who demanded an explanation for why the UK's spends £11bn a year on international when the cost of treatment could not be met by her local authority.
The caller, whose name was given as Anna from Finchley, told shit for brains Dave that her local health authority is "begging charities for money" in order to pay for the drugs she requires.
According to knob head Cameron “One thing we've done over the last couple of years is invest in vaccines and immunisations for children in the poorest countries in the world.”
"That act alone has probably saved the lives of about 3million children.”
"We are having a tough time at the moment but we must keep promises to the poorest countries in the world."
The Prime Monster then said that health service funding had been increased and initiatives to help cancer sufferers afford new treatments had been put in place.

And like all the other piss poor policies it’s not working is it....

To cope with the expected Armageddon Chinese inventor Yang Zongfu has built himself a 13ft diameter spherical Ark complete with room for three people a year's worth of food and water, three weeks worth of oxygen when sealed, and 75 airbags.
To test his gyroscopic savior sphere — which took two years and $1.5 million Yuan (approximately $236,000) — the inventor claims he slammed it with motor vehicles at speeds of 60 miles per hour (the would-be wasteland warriors inside barely noticed, he says).
And then he boarded Noah's Ark and launched himself down a 164-foot slope emerging triumphant and unharmed, his mouth bloody from a "seatbelt cut."

What a load of old spherical dangly bits....

Seth Horvitz ordered a nice new TV, a Westinghouse 39-inch LCD, for about $320 from a third-party electronics seller on Amazon.
On Tuesday evening, a large, oblong box arrived at his doorstep via UPS Ground.
“When I saw some metal parts inside the box, I thought, ‘Maybe this is a TV stand or mount or something,’” Horvitz said in a phone interview with Wired.
“When I realized it was an assault rifle, it was pure shock and disbelief.”
Not being one to want a personal “shock and awe” arsenal of his own, Horvitz contacted the D.C. police. They immediately confiscated the box, which contained a semi-automatic Sig Sauer 716 patrol rifle. The police informed Horvitz that the gun was illegal in the District of Columbia.

More bang for your Bucks?

A massive section of the centuries-old Great Wall of China has collapsed after bungling workmen in northern China dug up a city square in front of it.
Tons of bricks and rubble crashed down from the 100ft section of the ancient wall running through Zhangjiakou, in Hebei province, in the early hours of the morning.
Locals say the collapse happened after weeks of torrential rain combined with major road works in front of the wall's foundations.
"There is an investigation into the causes of the collapse. A number of things may have contributed, including the building work," said one city official.
"But we have a conservation and rebuilding plan and it is already underway," they added.

Good job it wasn’t a new one....

And finally:

Thames Town, in Shanghai, is a replica of small English town complete with everything you might expect, except the people.
The buildings of Thames Town copy the real ones in England so closely that complaints have been filed by English pub owners, and this genuine British look was exactly what was supposed to draw people to this place.
Only, like many other ambitious and expensive Chinese projects, Thames Town failed to impress a lot of people and is now virtually a ghost town in Shanghai, the city that drive’s China’s economy.

Located near the last stop of Line 9, Thames Town opened its gates in 2006, as part of Shanghai’s One City Nine Towns project, as a satellite settlement designed to house around 10,000 people in low-rise apartments and classic English houses. As the name suggests, it was supposed to be a piece of London right in China, complete with cobbled streets, red telephone booths, street names like Oxford or Queen, a Gothic cathedral, and of course, a fake Thames river.
Thames Town really looks English, but with all the money invested in marketing, the place never really took off. Except for a handful of people who actually live there and the visitors who come to take their picture taken with the English surroundings, Thames Town is a ghost town.
After Shanghai Hengde priced the villas and houses at between $600,000 and $750,000 for 307 – 377 square meters, there weren’t very many takers. Apartments are a little cheaper, but at $750.

That’s nearly as expensive as the real thing…

And today’s thought:
Too much information Olympics



Thursday, 27 October 2011

NIMBY Charlie: “Cratering” Blighty: Devon “pits”: Marmite scent: Sausage and mash: and Armageddon-again.

Wet, windy and wobbly at the Castle this morn, the study is vacant of all things broken and I have just got back from the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run at Tesco.
It is getting hard to understand the language dahn there-Russian, Polish, Nepalese and the odd English, but we are “multicultural”-aren’t we?

It seems that more than 5,000 foreign criminals who should have been deported remain in the UK, an official report has said.
The number who are not deported or cannot be deported at the end of their sentence is increasing, the independent inspector of the UK Border Agency said.
John Vine said the majority of successful appeals against deportation were made on human rights grounds.
The Home Office said it was deporting foreign criminals quicker and is changing immigration rules.

It appears that the Human Rights of those crims from foreign parts are more important than ours....


Has joined a campaign to save the ‘fairytale forests’ of Romania, because his Transylvanian ancestors can be traced back to Vlad the Impaler.
Many of the tiny Saxon villages have not changed for centuries and bears and wolves can still be found in the woods.
However rapid economic growth in the new EU country of Romania means that both the forests and the ancient way of life is under threat from building and demand for timber.
The Prince, who recently brought a home in a small village in the area, is calling for protection for the forests before they are lost forever like the woodland that once covered much of Britain.

Not in Charlie’s back yard then, but he will have to be careful of the wolves and bears-I hear they like a nice old nag...


Living standards will drop, the UK economy is "Cratering" and growth will fall to only 0.5 per cent next year, well below the Government's official projections, warned Adam Posen, a member of the Bank of England's interest-rate setting Monetary Policy Committee.
He was speaking exclusively to The Independent in his first interview since prevailing in his personal crusade to persuade members of the MPC to restart the Bank of England's £200bn quantitative-easing programme. 

“Cratering”, is that like “planking” or “Owling”? Whatever it is we are stuffed...

According to police young children are stealing to pay off gambling debts they've run up playing marbles.
The craze, called "Pits", involves flicking the marbles into an open water meter cover in the street surface. Police in Plymouth, Devon, said groups of up to 40 youngsters, some as young as five, are playing the game in the street.
And parents have complained that some children are resorting to stealing cash, DVDs and computer games to pay off debts.
Police and housing association staff are now going door to door in the area to talk to parents about the problem. Letters have also been sent to parents by the nearby school.
Sue Shaw, a director at Plymouth Community Homes, said: "Youngsters can end up very frightened when they find out that someone thinks they 'owe them' money - and we would encourage anyone in this position to speak to their parent or carer straight away."

Lost my marbles years ago...

Burton-on-Trent has got its own designer scent which apparently smells of Marmite, leather, pickle and beer.
The city, said to smell of ale from the surrounding hops fields, has inspired the bizarre new perfume called Eau-de-Burton, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Businesswoman Victoria Brookes thinks her new fragrance works perfectly and is selling it for £36.50 in the run up to Christmas.
She said: "Burton is known for its smell but not always in a good way. But the perfume smells really good - I have had lots of compliments from people.
"It is made up of Gourmand, representing Marmite and Branston Pickle, which were invented in Burton.
"It also has leather, representing the boots and footballs used at Burton Albion, and Ambra, inspired by amber nectar, the beer which made Burton famous worldwide.

Problem is it makes your toast soggy...

A cash machine in East London, is offering customers the choice of using the service in either Standard English or Cockney.
The ATM, in Leytonstone, asks if you want Sausage & Mash (cash), a balance on Charlie Sheen (screen balance) or a Huckleberry Finn change (pin change).
You can also choose to have a Lady Godiva (£5), Speckled Hen (£10), Commodore (£15), Horn of plenty (£20), Pony (£25), Dirty (£30), Double Top (£40) or a Nifty (£50).
One customer said: "This is brilliant. I think it's great to have a bit of light-hearted fun during this current financial climate.
"It's tough enough withdrawing cash when you've not got much but if you can do it with a giggle it makes all the difference."

 Wonder what sausage and mash is in Polish?

And finally: 

Tomorrow will be the end of the world-again, Calleman believes that the end of the Mayan Long Count Calendar is October 28, 2011, and not, as was previously thought, December next year.
“It seemed to me,” says Calleman on his website, “that it would be of greater value to humanity if I could solve the Mayan calendar, than if I could solve the riddle of cancer.”


And today’s thought: If you can’t convince them, confuse them. - President Harry S Truman


Sunday, 22 May 2011

Modern technology: U-Turn Cam’s six pack: Out of Iraq: Smokin Dahn Unda: Bradford Numptys: How not to mend a bus: and Prince Andrew loves Sakskiye Banyas.

Well, it didn’t end did it? Still here; or maybe Heaven looks just like the Castle, with a bit of rain thrown in.
I wonder how many gullible idiots blew their life savings yesterday. 

And as its Sunday a bit of Spike.

I see that up in Iceland Grimsvotn has started to erupt; Iceland's Isavia airport authority said a flight ban of 120 nautical miles had been imposed around the area. Last year's outpouring of ash from Eyjafjallajokull led to the largest closure of European airspace since World War II.
About 10 million travellers were affected and some questioned whether the shutdown was an over-reaction.
However, a scientific study published last month said the safety concerns had been well founded.

 Not quite Armageddon.

And according to Lord Judge, The Lord Chief Justice those who spread lies on the internet and paedophiles who circulate child pornography are fairly alike.
And reckons that ways should be found to prevent those "who in effect peddle lies about others" online to prevent the misuse of modern technology, just as ways had been found to stop the circulation of child pornography, or at least to "hunt down and prosecute" those responsible.

I wonder if that applies to lying, thieving politicians and Judges?

Allegedly a special six-pack of Guinness could be winging its way to Downing Street to commemorate David Cameron's visit to the famed brewery.
Taoiseach Enda Kenny, who accompanied the prime minister on the tour and will also get a sample, quipped whether it would be named the "Cameron Brew".

Doubt it; they could call it the Tossers Tipple though.

The UK's military operation in Iraq is to end within hours when the Royal Navy stops training Iraqi sailors.
Operation Telic, the name for the UK mission in Iraq since 2003, will finish but a handful of staff will remain at the British embassy in Baghdad.
At its peak the operation involved some 46,000 personnel.
Most UK forces withdrew in July 2009 from Basra, their main base, but 81 Navy trainers remained at the port of Umm Qasr.
The completion of the mission on Sunday comes eight years after Britain became involved in invading Iraq to remove Saddam Hussein.  

Better late than never.

Health Minister Nicola Roxon has dismissed the idea of forcing smokers to apply for a licence to light up before eventually banning smoking altogether.
Anti-smoking campaigners have told Fairfax newspapers that a licensing scheme could pave the way for a smoking ban within 10 to 15 years.
But Ms Roxon said the government has no such plans. "It's not part of our policy," she told Network Ten.
"I certainly understand why public health advocates want to keep pushing the boundaries but we are already trying to break new ground."
The Gillard government wants to introduce world-first plain packaging for cigarettes from mid-2012.
Ms Roxon said Labour had a big fight on its hands on that front alone. She denied a smoking ban was the logical conclusion of government anti-smoking policies. 

Funny that; “they” all want to stop smokers doing their thing, but are quite happy to take billions in taxes. And don’t forget if smoking is ever banned Dahn Unda or in Blighty the pompous, self righteous anti’s will have to make up the difference to the exchequer.

Hundreds of motorists were flashed by a speed camera after practical jokers erected a rogue 40mph speed limit sign in a 30mph zone.
Locals in Wyke, Bradford, said the camera had been flashing like a "disco strobe light" as motorists sped by at the wrong speed.
Highway chiefs condemned the prank as "crassly irresponsible", reports the Bradford Telegraph and Argus.
Bradford Council has now removed the sign, which it believes was installed several days ago.
Local resident Dave Clarke said: "People were coming at 30mph but this sign brought them back up to 40mph so people were picking their speed up and setting the flash off.
"Some evenings it's been like a strobe disco light. There have obviously been a lot of people who have been caught by it."
Council engineer Darren Badrock said: "The 40mph sign was not put up by the council and appears to have been placed there by a member of the public. We have now removed it.
He said anyone who received a fixed penalty notice as a result of the fake sign should contact the authorities. 

Or maybe not send out any fixed penalty notices at all……

Traffic police in China were left stunned after intercepting a badly damaged coach - missing its front windscreen and held together with sticky tape and boards.
The dilapidated coach, which was supported in parts only by its original frame, was stopped at a toll booth in the country's Zhejiang Province.
Its driver had decided to take the battered vehicle hundreds of miles to his friend's maintenance depot to save money on repairs. 

That didn’t work then…… 

And finally: 

Fat, oldish plonker Prince Andrew is in love with Sakskiye Banyas.
‘Airmiles Andy’ likes to relieve stress with an ancient form of Central Asian herbal sauna known as a Sakskiye banya.
The steam baths are traditional among nomads, who beat each other with twigs and drink fermented horse milk during the sessions.
Prince Andrew’s love of the Banyas – the Russian word for saunas – was revealed by his close friend Goga Ashkenazi, the multi-millionaire socialite, in an interview with Russian television channel NTV.
She said: ‘He is especially in love with Sakskiye Banyas. We believe that these Banyas make you younger. I don’t know whether it is true or not, but Andrew believes in it, too. He is getting so many compliments after visiting these Banyas.’

That’s not working either, but his horse faced Daughter’s hat is now up to quite a lot on Ebay, still it is for charity….

And today’s thought: "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." - Dan Quayle