Showing posts with label bad luck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad luck. Show all posts

Monday, 31 October 2011

Snowy Army: Empty cells: Bad bad luck: Naked Elfandsafety: and Yoda loses the force.

Damp, drizzly and dreary at the Castle this morn, been to Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run, and his Maj is curled up next to me on the sofa.
Wonder how he will react to his first winter?

The Army is to be put on standby this winter as part of emergency planning measures in case of a severe freeze.
Ministers are determined to avoid the panic that gripped the last Government when it was thought to be close to having to shut down motorways because of a grit shortage.
Coordinated plans to be announced tomorrow will include calling troops in, in the event that roads do become impassable for ambulances.
However a two-million tonne salt stockpile will be in place to try to keep them open.

I won’t hold my breath.....


Latchmere House, in Richmond, South West London, was closed last month but staff are still working there to provide ­­“security”.


A Hong Kong based widow from the Ma On Shan district ended up killing a passing pedestrian when she lost her footing and fell from outside her high-rise flat. The elderly and considerably larger woman, Lam, was picking up her washing when she slipped and plunged down from the 27th floor.
According to various reports, Lam was outside her flat, collecting clothes from a drying rack when the accident took place.
The other victim was Chan Kwai-mui, a 51 year old cleaner, who was on her way from work. Unfortunately for her, she got caught in Lam’s tragic flight downwards.

It’s not the fall that kills you, its landing on some poor passerby...

City officials have flushed all the fun out of a downtown art exhibit.
The Department of Health warned the New Museum yesterday that it can no longer have more than one visitor at a time splashing around -- often nude -- in a giant bathtub that’s part of an adult-playground exhibition.
“The Health Department contacted administrators at the New Museum and advised them of the requirements in the Health Code and the conditions that would require approval and a permit,” said DOH’s John Kelly.
“The New Museum made the decision to limit the use of the tank to one person.”
The swirling “Psycho Tank” of super-salted water -- which is warmed to body temperature -- is a highlight of Carsten Höller’s “Experience” exhibit.

Visitors sign a form saying they do not “have any communicable diseases or other adverse health conditions that could be transmitted by being in water with others.”
Once they were immersed, jets of water would send strangers bouncing into each other in the buff.

Bugger it; I have just paid for the plane ticket...

And finally:

German police called to a traffic incident early Sunday found themselves face-to-face with Jedi master Yoda from Star Wars, much the worse for wear after Halloween celebrations.
In the early hours of Sunday morning, a 42-year-old male driver, resplendent in his Yoda costume, had a minor collision with a pedestrian and sped off in his car, only to be collared by a police vehicle two minutes later.
The pedestrian was left with only light injuries following the accident, but the Jedi master look-alike found himself on the wrong side of the law and, despite his green mask, was left decidedly red faced.
"The officers were especially surprised to see ... Grand Master Yoda at the wheel," said the statement from police in the city of Darmstadt, near Frankfurt in western Germany.
It appears Yoda had enjoyed his evening too much to be driving and authorities took him to the station, confiscated his licence and took a blood sample. "The hapless Jedi returned home on foot," said police.

"Much to learn, you still have."

And today’s thought: Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look what they do when they stick together.


Saturday, 21 February 2009


That’s handy!

Ananova A New Zealand man who nearly cut his hand off with a bandsaw had earlier almost cut off the same arm in another accident.

Bryan Speers was taken by ambulance to a local hospital and then transferred by air to Waikato Hospital where surgeons worked for 13 hours to reattach his left hand.

He said “I saw my hand flapping around I just grabbed my hand and walked down to the office swearing my head off... I really thought I was going to die."

Dr Katerina Anesti said: "He had nearly cut off the same arm before about five centimetres up his arm. The scarring made it difficult to know what was what."

Some people.

Err HELP! A pilot flew 80 passengers from Cardiff to Paris then told them: "We have to turn back - I'm not qualified to land."

Thick fog had cut visibility to 700 metres at Charles de Gaulle airport and he told passengers he was not trained to land the aircraft in such conditions.

So, they flew the 300 miles back to Cardiff airport, Cassandra Grant, a passenger said “It beggars belief. I would expect an airline pilot to have every qualification possible, and then a few more."

I wonder what would have happened if it had been foggy in Britain?

Be careful when you give up smoking-Ananova

A West Yorkshire man gave up smoking thanks to hypnosis - but is now addicted to Scampi Fries.

Darren Corbett, now eats 20 packets of the pub snack a day, costing him £11 - nearly double the cost of his old habit, reports Metro.

"When my mates go outside for a smoke, I sit inside and munch," said the tiler from Keighley.

Mr Corbett picked up his new vice after a hypnotist at his local pub cured him of his 30-a-day habit.

Hypnotism can be bad for your health.

Drunken British soldier crashes tanks - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) Police in northern Germany say a drunken British soldier has crashed two eight-tonne reconnaissance tanks after driving them out of his camp without permission.

They say the soldier took the first tank from his base at night, but drove it off the road and he went back to get a second.

He was caught after crashing the second tank into a tree following a chase by British military police.

I suppose a stinger wouldn’t have worked.

Minds on other things?

Ananova - Sat nav strands honeymoon couple A newlywed couple ended up stuck half-way up a mountain when their sat-nav went wrong on their honeymoon.

Oliver Kohl, and bride Angela, were heading to a luxury hotel in the remote village of Willingen, Germany, after their wedding in Hamm, near Dortmund.

But they got lost as their sat-nav guided them along a bumpy, unpaved forest road toward a tall mountain.
Personally I think those sat-nav things do it on purpose.

Ananova - World's unluckiest cyclist? A US cyclist was knocked down by a car and a train in separate accidents within six hours of each other.

Unlucky Robert Evans, from Boulder, Colorado, was first hit by a car in a hit-and-run incident.
Mr Evans was taken to hospital but later released, reports Metro.

He was on his way back to town when he was hit by a train while walking his bicycle across a railroad bridge.

He was later found in a creek and again taken to hospital, but his injuries were not life-threatening.

To add to his woes, Evans faces a ticket from police for trespassing on the rail bridge which is not open to pedestrians.


And finally:

Ananova - Karma? An £80,000 a year banker gave up the high life to become a carpenter - only to discover he's allergic to wood.

Dan Hill, dreamt of a stress-free life after swapping his desk in the City of London for a workbench, reports the Daily Express.

But whenever he was in the workshop, he developed an itchy rash all over his body and his eyes were left streaming. Doctors diagnosed an allergy to dust and wood shavings.

A banker eh, wonder how much sympathy he will get.

"Adversity is the first path to truth." Lord Byron


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico