Showing posts with label bank robbery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bank robbery. Show all posts

Friday, 14 August 2009

Bobbies’ biscuits, Trabants, Wicked Weasels, Ton up Tractor and the daily Numpty

Feeling a bit better today, weather still overcast and a bit chilly, and am waiting for the electrician to come and test my circuits (electrical that is), mind you I think I could do with a re-wire.

First up:

Britain's police forces have spent £3 million on tea and biscuits, figures disclosed under Freedom of Information laws have shown.

Police forces across the country revealed the amount spent as officers worked on solving crimes last year.

The figure was disclosed by 40 of the 57 separate forces across the UK.

Top was Lothian and Borders in Scotland which spent £383,000.

With around 2,600 officers working at the Scottish force, that amounts to £147.31 spent per officer.

Second was Hampshire Constabulary, who got though £308,000 of refreshments.

Greater Manchester came in third, spending a total of £235,000.

The Met, with 31,000 staff, spent £119,000 on refreshments - or £3.84 per officer.

The figures also revealed forces spent £11million on office stationery - buying 1.3million pens and 450million sheets of paper.

The Metropolitan police - the biggest in the country - was the biggest biro buyer, purchasing 837,584 pens - or the equivalent of 27 for every officer.

Pete Smyth, chairman of the force's federation, blamed the "poor quality" of the pens for the huge sum - which was more than half the total bought by all forces.

He said: "Most officers will want to carry around three or four with them because it does not look professional if you are trying to take notes and your pen runs out.

"Saying that, a number of officers use their own pens so the number of pens per head is likely to be higher."

Roy Woolliscroft, chairman of Northamptonshire Police Federation, blamed "bureaucracy" on his force spending £32,000 on 4million sheets of paper.

He said: "Even though we are supposed to be cutting back on bureaucracy, officers still fill out forms simply because they have to, not because they will be of any use.”

"And it all adds up."

Couldn’t they take flasks with them on patrol?

Former East Germany's infamous Trabant was, and still is, a smelly, two-stroke engine car
made out of plastic, cotton and wood. Its top speed is 60mph and under communism even model citizens had to wait an average of 12 years to get one.

“It was the car that gave communism a bad name,” is how commentators summed up the vehicle, universally referred to as the Trabbi.

It still rarely fails to appear on lists featuring the world's worst cars.

Yet now, and on schedule for the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall this November, the Trabbi is due to make a surprise comeback.

However, this time it will be the model German car of the future — both Green and electric. A modernised electric-engined prototype called the “Trabant nT” is to be unveiled at Frankfurt's International motor show next month.

IndyKar, a private company which has developed the new vehicle, aims to attract investors to manufacture them en masse.

There are 50,000 of the original cars still registered in Germany and many take part in organised “Trabbi rallies”. In Berlin tourists hungry for a bit of communist nostalgia can hire them to drive round the city.

IndyKar spokesman Jurgen Schnell insists that the new Trabant will not be a retro car: “It's going to be simple, practical and in the tradition of the original. But it will have the newest technology and be purely electric.”

The new Trabbi has been designed as a city car, equipped with a roof-top solar panel for recharging its battery.

Heresy, I had a Trabant, I bought it for a bet and I can say without doubt that it is the worst car I have ever had, apart from a Vauxhall Viva HB.

A Chinese man says his family are being harassed by a vengeful weasel after he caught its mate.
Zhang, 28, of Wuchang, eastern China's Hubei province, says the weasel continuously leaves dead mice in his home and poos on his table.
He says it all started when he was awoken one night by weasels in his home, reports the Wuhan Evening Post.

"They had eaten most of the meat I had hung on the wall so I took a stick to beat them. The female was caught in a mouse trap, while the male escaped up the chimney."

Zhang's wife released the female in the mountains the following morning and it was never seen again.

"What I didn't expect is that from the very next night, the escaped male weasel came back to harass us," added Zhang.

"It excretes on tables, and even throws dead mice corpses into our home. The scariest thing was when it jumped onto our bed, screaming. It seems to be protesting at me for catching his wife."

Terminator Mustela nivalis.

A potato farmer is fighting traffic cops after they claimed to have clocked his tractor speeding - at 76mph.

Thorsten Holck, of Irschenberg, Germany, was baffled when his 24mph farm vehicle received a ticket complete with a speed camera snap supposedly clocking him at twice the speed limit.

He said: "When I got the ticket I thought they'd sent it to the wrong person but I looked at the photo and saw it was my tractor and couldn't believe it.

"I knew it must have been a mistake. I mean, my tractor is fairly modern and got a good motor, but I can guarantee it's no supercar.

"Someone somewhere has made a big mistake and I'm sure when they just take a look at my tractor they'll realise pretty quickly it could never break any speed limits."

Experts believe the camera was out of synch and snapped the tractor after the vehicle that had triggered it had already slipped through.

Mashed up speed camera (think about it)

And finally:

Over the pond in ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A 34-year-old man is in custody after authorities say he gave a teller his account number and showed her his picture ID before robbing an Anchorage bank.

The FBI says Jarell Paul Arnold of Anchorage is being held on federal bank robbery charges.
The FBI alleges Arnold walked into an Alaska USA Federal Credit Union branch Friday and inquired about the balance on his account, according to the Anchorage Daily News. The teller asked for his name, account number and ID, the paper said.

Authorities say he complied, and then handed over a receipt with a note on the back that said he had a gun and demanded money. The FBI says he got away with about $600.

Authorities arrested Arnold on Monday. Court records say Arnold was sentenced to 57 months in prison for bank robbery in 2004.

Numpty of the week.

Sunday, 21 June 2009


This guy really doesn’t get it.

A getaway driver who refused to break the speed limit during a police chase led to a gang of jewel robbers being caught and sent to prison for a total of 20 years.

Neil Murray, 34 was behind the wheel of a stolen high speed Alfa Romeo when the robbers fled with £60,000 worth of gems from the heist.
Got that bit right.

As they raced from Simon Pure Jewellery Design in the town centre at Guildford, Surrey, where they terrorised two women shop assistants, passers by noted down the number of the escape vehicle.

But as the gang tried to escape, the driver Murray, from Tottenham, took his foot off the pedal every time they went through restricted areas.

Within 30 minutes of fleeing the shop the three man gang was arrested and were behind bars on Saturday.

Got that bit wrong.

Killer kitten terrorises Royal Mail

Royal Mail has warned a family they will not deliver their mail after a postman was 'attacked' by their kitten.

The company wrote to shopkeeper Ken Ridge, 65, and his son Bradley, 30, after the postman was targeted by female kitten Illy at their home in Clapham, South London.

Office manager Mayo Sonubi wrote to the pair, saying: "I am writing to let you know that, on June 6, our postman was attacked by your animal in your premises while delivering mail to your address.

"I must advise you that, if any further incidents of this nature are allowed to take place, I shall have no alternative other than to consider suspending the delivery of mail to your home."

A Royal Mail spokesman said it takes animal attacks seriously.

"We record about 5,000 animal attacks on our postmen and women each year with the vast majority being dogs.

"The member of staff suffered a very bad cut to her hand which required treatment while delivering mail through the letterbox of the address."

OooH Scary!

A new item on the menu.

'Crocodile' spotted in French pond Police and firemen have reported spotting the reptile in the small lake near Xertigny in the Vosges region, but all efforts to confirm its presence have so far failed.

On Saturday an echosounder probed the pond, which is two hectares (five acres) in area and up to 3.5 metres (11 feet) deep, after it was partially drained.

An object was detected, but local mayor Veronique Mercot said it could have been a shoal of fish.

"The best thing now is to empty the pond completely so as to remove any doubt," she said.

Meat has been left around the pond as bait, and fencing erected to stop the animal, believed to be a crocodile or a Cayman, from escaping, while the area has been declared off limits to sightseers.

Firemen, police and an expert trapper are keeping a 24-hour watch.
It is not known where the reptile might have come from but a local zoo has expressed willingness to give it a home.

"We want to catch it alive and give it every chance," Mercot said.

Yeah right!

Bless you my son.

A Mexican man who arrived in Rome saying he wanted to become a priest was arrested at the airport with 6.5 kilogram’s of cocaine, the Telenews agency reported Wednesday.

The 33-year-old, who flew to Rome from Mexico City via Paris, had concealed the drug in super-thin vacuum packs inside the dust jackets of long-playing vinyl records, the airport news agency said.

Wonder who the stash was for?

And finally:

An old friend sent me this.

Creative Puns for Educated Minds
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism -is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. --One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said, 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No Changeyet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road - is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet - writes inverse.
21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults: - Practice safe sects !


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico


Saturday, 21 March 2009


The sun is shining, the birds are coughing and the world is still an odd place.

UK team build robot fish to detect pollution yes, it has happened, Robot fish developed by British scientists are to be released into the sea off north Spain to detect pollution.

"In using robotic fish we are building on a design created by hundreds of millions of years' worth of evolution which is incredibly energy efficient," he said.

"This efficiency is something we need to ensure that our pollution detection sensors can navigate in the underwater environment for hours on end."

The robot fish will be 1.5 metres (nearly 5 feet) long -- roughly the size of a seal.

Just a couple of comments: is introducing an “organism” consisting of “pollutants” to monitor pollution a good idea?

What do they taste like with chips?

Saleswoman finds cocaine in box of bananas A stunned supermarket saleswoman stumbled upon 28 kilograms (60 pounds) of cocaine worth over a million euros (dollars) while unpacking boxes of bananas in southern Germany, police said on Friday.

The crates of fruit, flown in from Colombia and imported into Germany via the Belgian port of Antwerp, were probably mixed up when they were being loaded onto the delivery trucks, Ludwig Waldinger from the Bavarian police told AFP.

"Some dealers must have picked up the wrong boxes," he told AFP, adding that he would like to see the look on the faces of the drug dealers when they try to get their fix from the nutritious snack.

The 26-year-old shop assistant found the 26 packets of cocaine on Wednesday morning and immediately alerted the police, who are currently investigating the apparent blunder.

Maybe they should have been delivered to the pharmacy!

Baggy-trousered Aussie teen fined for cheeky flash An Australian teenager wearing baggy trousers and no underwear was fined after his pants fell down just as a female police officer was walking past, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

Trent Joseph Wroe, 19, was fined A$250 (119 pounds), and ordered to wear a belt, after the February 28 incident in Mooloolaba in the northern Queensland state, the Sunshine Coast Daily newspaper reported.

Police told a magistrate's court that Wroe deliberately bared his buttocks, but Wroe said he was wearing a pair of borrowed pants which were too big and fell down in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He said he would apologise to the police officer, and promised to wear a belt and underwear in future.

Going “commando” can be hazardous to your wallet.

Robber pulls bank job from comfort of his car PHARR — a bank robber in South Texas held up the place from the comfort of his car.

Police in Pharr say a man used the drive-thru lane Monday morning to rob Lone Star National Bank.

Police say the driver slipped a note to a female teller, who provided an undetermined amount of cash, and then he drove away.

Lt. Guadalupe Salinas says the man was alone in the car and did not appear to display a weapon. Salinas told the Associated Press there's no indication that the robbery was an inside job.

Law officers declined to release the contents of the note. Police are reviewing bank surveillance video.

The FBI declined comment.

I don’t know, what next-drive through food!

And finally a link to some commercials: YouTube, no children, fish, dogs or bears were harmed during the making of these ads.

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.” Stephen Leacock


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico