Showing posts with label banker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label banker. Show all posts

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Piss Poor Policies Crowd sourcing: No jobs for old farts: Fake Banker: Fly me to the Moon: Cool dogs: and pluck a duck-or five thousand.

‘Tis warm, sunny, calm and dry at the Castle this morn, been dahn to Tesco on the second stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food run of the week.
Monday his Whiskas meat selection in jelly cost £3.45 a box, this morn it was £2.00 per wonder I am so confused....
And his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from above-top of the wardrobe/up the tree...

Has come up with yet another shit for brains load of old bollocks; they want us to send in our thoughts on “Gov” policy to develop new policy ideas.
Apparently ministers would ask people to suggest problems that the Government could try to solve before ideas were put out to formal consultation.
One idea involved “getting wide public input by ‘crowd sourcing’ questions to shape the definition of the problem, not just consulting on the solutions”.
Sir Bob Kerslake, the head of the Home Civil Service, said: "The default being that we develop policy in an open way with those who are more affected by the policy and collaborate in a more collaborative way." 

So why do we need six hundred odd useless members in the leaning tower of Westminster then....

According to The Policy Exchange think-tank older workers are more likely to suffer long-term unemployment than younger ones.
To test employers’ attitudes to jobseekers’ age, the researchers sent applications for over 1,200 bar jobs and personal assistant positions, one from a 51-year-old and one from a 25-year-old.
According to a Policy Exchange report, the responses to the otherwise identical applications showed a “huge bias “against the older worker.
The 25 year-old received more than twice as many positive responses to applications for bar jobs. The younger applicant was half again as likely to succeed seeking personal assistant posts.
There are around 8.3 million people aged between 50 and 65 in employment, making up around a quarter of the entire UK workforce.
Around 440,000 older workers were unemployed at the end of 2011, and 43 per cent of them had been without a job for more than a year. By contrast, 35 per cent of unemployed 25-49 year olds were long-term jobless.
Of those workers currently unemployed, only 40 per cent of those aged over 50 can expect to return to work in the next 12 months, the report found. That compares to over 60 per cent for those aged under 25.

 That’s me buggered then....the next step is for all old farts to have their expiry date tattooed on their foreheads.

Rice trader Lin Chunping invented a U.S. bank and claimed he bought it.
State media reported that he had taken over Delaware-based Atlantic Bank. The acquisition brought him praise: His hometown gave him a prestigious political appointment and state media called his business experience "legendary."
But like a lot of WBanker he was a lying git, Chinese reporters could not locate an Atlantic Bank or a bank registration by Lin in Delaware.
He's under arrest for an unrelated fraud and has been forced to give up his municipal-level appointment to the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, the government's top advisory body.

Oh dear what a shame...

Isle of Man-based Excalibur Almaz is offering seats to adventurers willing to go the extra mile on a historic journey to the Moon.
The first 500,000-mile round-trip in a converted Soviet-era space station could take place as early as 2015.
Art Dula, founder and chief executive has acquired two Soviet “Almaz” space stations, designed for orbital spying operations. Thrusters attached to the stations will convert them to long-distance spaceships.
Four re-entry capsules, or re-usable return vehicles (RRVs), will ferry three people at a time to the orbiting space station and return them to Earth.
All the space vehicles – the cost of which is confidential – are housed in hangers on the Isle of Man. One of the RRVs is currently being exhibited outside the Queen Elizabeth II conference centre in Westminster, London.

Pink Floyd will be chuffed....

As it is so hot in the place where ruins excel an Italian ice cream maker has come up with Gelato for dogs, containing no milk, eggs or sugar, which are harmful to woofers and comes in vanilla, rice and yogurt flavours at the cost of a mere 2 Euros or abaht 5p in British at today’s exchange rate...

Barking cool...

 And finally: 

A farmer caused chaos when he walked his ducks almost 1.5km (1 mile) from his farm to a pond in a quest for food.
The mini migration was timed to avoid rush hour but commuters could not help but get caught up in the parade.
At one point, several scooters were marooned in a sea of brown but the ducks’ feathers remained unruffled
Farmer Hong – who was armed with just a (very) long stick and a few assistants – managed to make the journey without losing a single duck en route to the water.
He regularly undertakes the perilous journey in the booming coastal city of Taizhou, in China’s Zhejiang province, about 305km (190 miles) south of Shanghai.

Wonder how much orange sauce you would need for that lot.....

And today’s thought:
Brazilian at Wimbledon


Saturday, 18 April 2009


Le Miserable.

Ananova A French bus driver has been told to hop it by her bosses - after stopping her double-decker to rescue a frog in the road.

"It was in the middle of the road so I slowed down and put on the hazard flashers. Then I climbed out and put the frog in a box so I could take it to the side of the road and let it free.

"Then I got back on the Number Five bus and carried on with the journey and pretty much forgot about the incident until the management said they'd had a complaint," she added.

"One of the bus passengers complained to the management. They told me I should have squashed the frog and not stopped. When I said I couldn't do that I was fired," said Christina.

Maybe she was thinking of lunch.

That’s not the way to do it.

Reuters A Spanish builder with big debts kidnapped his bank manager at gunpoint and demanded a 50,000 euro (44,000 pound) loan plus his luxury car, police in the southern city of Malaga said on Friday.

The builder accosted his bank manager in a car park near the bank in the Mediterranean resort of Marbella on Tuesday, and told him, falsely, that accomplices had taken his family hostage.

The builder then forced the executive to drive 20 km to Estepona, sign over his luxury car and transfer 1,500 euros to the builder's bank account. The banker persuaded his kidnapper to let him call a colleague and told him, in code, that he had been kidnapped.

Police tracked them down to an office in the town and seized the kidnapper as they left the building. The builder was remanded in custody on Thursday, El Pais reported.

Reducci’on crediticia exactamente igual en todas partes


A Mississippi woman who was shot in the head not only survived but made herself tea and offered an astonished deputy something to drink, authorities said Friday. Tammy Sexton, 47, remained hospitalized three days after being wounded by her husband, who killed himself after he shot his wife. A bullet struck her squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head, authorities said. She is expected to fully recover.

The full story is here-Excite news

I am saying nothing about being empty headed.

Excite News A school spokesman said a southwest Ohio teacher has resigned after acknowledging she accompanied four female students to a male strip club.

Butler Tech school district spokesman Bill Solazzo said the 47-year-old teacher resigned Thursday.

He said the teacher told Edgewood High School administrators that the students, all cheerleaders, asked her to take them to the bar in February.

The teacher told school officials in an e-mail that she got permission from the parents of the 17- and 18-year-olds to bring them to the club.

The teacher taught marketing at the school and previously served as a coach for the district's eighth-grade cheerleaders.

I wish I had a teacher like that.

Ananova An aircraft took off on its own when the pilot could not get into the cockpit in time after starting the propeller manually.

Hundreds of visitors to an air show at Goodwood airfield watched in horror as the runaway biplane took off, soared into the air and then crashed into trees, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Had it cleared the trees it is believed the plane, which was headed towards nearby Chichester, West Sussex, could have flown for around 150 miles on a full tank of fuel.

The small plane had just been refuelled before the incident and its pilots had 'swung' the propellers to restart the engine before getting inside to fly it.

But the aircraft - a 1940 model built in the style of a Tiger Moth -
Began moving before the pilot had a chance to board it.

Retired aircraft engineer Malcolm Phillips, 67 of Emsworth, Hants, said: "There were hundreds of people there watching as the plane ran amok, haring round in circles.

"We didn't know which way it was going to go and it was worrying that it could head towards the crowd, other planes or the clubhouse."

Mr Phillips added: "Normally the idea is that you swing the propellers and have the handbrake on and chocks under the wheels. You also need to make sure the throttle is only set at low revs.

Billy no mates!

And Finally:

Ananova Scientists have finally carried out some proper research; Scientists say they have proof that the best cure for a hangover really is a bacon butty.

Elin Roberts, science development manager at the Centre for Life in Newcastle, says: "Food doesn't soak up the alcohol, but it does increase your metabolism - helping you to deal with the after-effects of over-indulgence.

"So food will often help you feel better. Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids.

"Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good.

Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of amines which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."


“You should never have your best trousers on when you go out to fight for freedom and truth.” Henrik Ibsen


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico


Tuesday, 10 March 2009


Take a redundant banker with no experience of teaching

Tell them they are “gifted”

Give them six months training

Let them loose on the children

Light the blue touch paper and stand a long way back

Watch the destruction of ex bankers as the kids tear them apart

Watch the education system slide into anarchy and the third world

Can you actually believe this? BBC NEWS

The knobs or Schools Minister Jim Knight in particular has put on his dunce cap and decided that you don’t need to spend years at university to gain a degree, the “University of Life” is sufficient training to enable those poor redundant executives to screw up the lives of our kids.

“The changes are part of the government's wide ranging Working Together public service reform paper, being published by the prime minister on Tuesday.”

“England's Department for Children, Schools and Families said the fast track teacher training scheme would be aimed at people with several years' professional experience in areas such as the financial services or hi-tech industries.”

Sorry “sir” you have failed the exam, and will be put in detention, especially after the next election.

This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!” Milton Berle


By the way it was the most expensive Mars Bar in the world.

NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico