Showing posts with label biscuit bonkers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biscuit bonkers. Show all posts

Friday, 4 December 2009

Cat Cams; Holy Egg; Biscuit muncher; Picture Perfect; and Sun Numptys

Can’t wake up today, slept from 7pm last eve to 7.30 this cold morn; I think I am going into hibernation.

Unlike some MPs who it seems are off to the nightclubs in the name of “research”, The Commons home affairs committee, led by Labour's Keith Vaz, will look at what goes on during "student nights".

Members will look at the latest cocaine-detecting technology and talk to anti-drugs campaigners.

Labour MP Gwyn Prosser has already spent time outside a nightclub in Maidstone, Kent, as part of the committee's preliminary research.

The London visit is scheduled for next Wednesday.

Mr Vaz, MP for Leicester East, is set to be joined by Patrick Mercer, the Tory MP for Newark and Retford.

Yeah right!


The drink driving limit may come down to one drink only before you are over the limit. Lord Adonis, the Transport Secretary, has asked Sir Peter North QC to advise on the case for the most significant change. since the introduction of the breathalyser.

There is mounting pressure on the Government to fall into line with other European Union countries by reducing the legal limit from 80mg of alcohol per 100 millilitres of blood to 50mg.

The 80mg limit allows a man of average height and weight to drink about three units of alcohol — equivalent to a pint and a half of normal strength lager, or three small glasses of wine — and remain within the law.

Cutting the limit to 50mg could put drivers over the limit after just a single pint or a large glass of wine. Slight women would be able to drink even less.

Sir Peter will also assess the case for introducing a lesser penalty for someone who is just over a new, lower limit.

Why not just go the whole hog and reduce it to Zero, then everyone knows what the limit is.

First up:

Being someone who is owned by a feline this little snippet caught my attention: What do cats do when their owners are away? There was one way to find out — "cat cams."

Fifty house cats were given collar cameras that took a photo every 15 minutes. The results put a digital dent in some human theories about catnapping.

Based on the photos, about 22 percent of the cats' time was spent looking out of windows, 12 percent was used to interact with other family pets and 8 percent was spent climbing on chairs or kitty condos. Just 6 percent of their hours were spent sleeping.

"What surprised me was how active the cats were. I believed my three cats were sleeping during the day," said Jill Villarreal, an animal behaviour scientist who collected the data for Nestle Purina Pet Care's Friskies brand of cat food.

The 777 photos studied by Villarreal showed the cats looking at a television, computer, DVDs or other media 6 percent of the time and hiding under tables 6 percent of the time.

Coming in at 5 percent was playing with toys; eating or looking at food finished at 4 percent.

Will the cats get movie cameras next? "We are in the think tank now," Villarreal said.

I feel like hiding under the table, but it is more than 6 percent of the time.

There's a different type of story out of Burleson this holiday season. A couple in the city, 13 miles south of Fort Worth, believes God has given them a divine sign and it's a message spelled out in the most unusual of places.

Tracy and Pam Norrell are calling it a miracle, a gift laid before them on their small farm.
Tracy went to gather the eggs from the chicken coop Monday night, as he does every day.

But this time one egg in particular caught his eye.

Unlike the others, this egg isn't smooth and a very noticeable cross is indented on the top.

The Norell's say the egg was laid 'straight from heaven' and is a message of encouragement that comes at the right time.

"This time of the year, we get so taken up with the presents and money and we forget about the reason," Pam explained. "I think he [God] was just telling us he is the reason for the season."

The Norell's haven't quite decided what they'll do with the egg yet. It goes without saying; the couple says eating the egg is not an option.

Is the yolk on them?

Sweet-toothed Simon Pope - a full-time biscuit designer and tester - claims to have the best job in Britain. His role includes munching 472 packets of every year.

The lucky 41-year-old is the New Product Development Controller for Fox's Biscuits - and seeing how they taste with a cuppa is all part of the job.

He told "'I get to study biscuit designs and styles from around the world as well as sampling them. To be honest I sometimes still can't believe I actually get paid to eat biscuits."

While it might sound like a recipe for piling on the pounds, Simon manages to keep trim by mimicking wine tasters and using his own home-made biscuit spittoon.

Simon, who is married with two children and works in Batley, West Yorks, feels he is in a privileged position in his unofficial role as Britain's biscuit guru.

"Part of my job involves testing biscuits once they're in the stores, and I tend to get funny looks when I plonk 200 pounds worth of biscuits down on a checkout till."

Simon admits he also has the occasional biscuit during his office tea break - 'it's important to test them in situ' - and occasionally takes his work home with him.

He rates his favourite biscuit as the Rocky Bar - which he's enjoyed since childhood - followed by Rich Tea.

"So when I'm biscuit testing I'll nibble on it, check for things like taste, texture and firmness, but I don't swallow. It's an art I've acquired in the five years I've been doing the job."

“I don’t swallow”, that’s what they all say.

An orang-utan is making a monkey out of professional photographers after becoming one of the world's most popular snappers.

Nonja's handiwork has been viewed by tens of thousands of fans after keepers at Vienna's Schoenbrunn zoo in Austria gave her a digital camera and set up a Facebook page for her.

Snaps from the digital camera, which issues fruit treats whenever a picture is taken, are uploaded instantly over a Wi-Fi link.

The slightly blurry images of Nonja's climbing rope, food and her companion's shaggy red-brown fur have won lots of admiring comments from fans.

"It's an attempt to see the world through her eyes and see what she thinks is important. She's very artistic," said one keeper.

Nonja turned to photography after a spell as a painter where her works often reach up to £2,000 at auction.

Well, paint is messy and tends to clog up the fur.

And finally:

Catholic pilgrims have suffered eye damage after staring at the sun in the hope of witnessing an apparition of the Virgin Mary.

On one occasion in October, around 10,000 people gathered at the Knock shrine in north-west Ireland hoping to see Mary, despite pleas from an archbishop to ignore invitations to the event by a self-proclaimed spiritual healer.

Some of those present said they had seen Mary, venerated by Christians as the mother of Jesus, and attributed her presence to the sun suddenly breaking through the clouds, changing colour, appearing to come closer or spinning in the sky.

Eamonn O'Donoghue, an ophthalmologist at University College Hospital Galway in the west of Ireland, said he had several patients whose retina had been burnt by the sun during a visit to Knock.

"All of these people were under the impression that they would see strange phenomena if they looked at the sun. It is associated with events at Knock," Dr O'Donoghue told public radio RTE.

"If you get a burn to your macula (a part of the retina) you are going to see bizarre visual phenomena," he said, comparing the effects to frequently observed damage from watching solar eclipses without adequate protection.

The patients could expect an at least partial recovery within months, he said.

Dim eyed Numptys.




Angus Dei politico

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Auntie Knows best; Show off; Famous last words; the power of the biscuit and Blimey!

Sod the weather; I give up, bit late today because I had to reply to a Numpty comment on Angus Dei Politico usual pilchard attitude.

Today is Swine Flu Vaccination day, amid all the controversy and scares it has finally arrived.

Seriously ill hospital patients and the health staff caring for them will be the first of 14m people in the "priority group" to be given the jab.

From next week GPs will begin inviting people with health problems, damaged immune systems and pregnant women to come forward for immunisation.

Medical chiefs urged everyone in the priority group to have the vaccine.

The government has yet to decide whether the rest of population will be immunised, although enough doses have been ordered.

If you want it, have it but the slightly creepy thing is “The government has yet to decide whether the rest of population will be immunised” don’t we get a choice then?

This is a bit old (5 November 2008) but shades of Ryanair?; Jet2 has apologised for charging an amputee who wanted to take a spare pair of prosthetic legs on holiday an additional £10 each way.

Mick Skee, 47, of Wardley, Gateshead, lost both legs after contracting meningitis two years ago.

He wanted to take a spare pair of false limbs on his holiday to Majorca next May but Jet2 told him he would have to pay a surcharge.

The airline has now refunded the money, and said it had changed its guidelines.

Jet2 also said it was allowing Mr Skee to fly for free on the holiday by way of an apology.

Wide bodied and legless-the plane that is not Mr Skee.

First up:

Not content with mucking about with nursery rhymes the BEEB has a site that tells us how to live where you can sort your weight out and find information on a myriad of complaints, click the link it is actually quite good.

To sate the needs of my female fans (I was unaware that I had any fans at all) here are several pictures of the stages of man.

Fu Bingli, a kung fu master from China, has proved he has the strongest fingers in the world.

Bingli – who has been studying martial arts for 32 years since the age of just seven – can stand upside down supporting himself on just one index finger.

On Monday he scooped the Guinness world record for completing 12 press ups on just one finger of his right hand.

"I've been training since I was seven years old and my index finger has as much strength in it as most people's entire body," said Fu of Lianyungang, eastern China.

Wonderful, I can manage twelve stands up from the sofa, as long as I have a rest after each one.

99-year-old George Geeson could be Britain's safest driver.

After 84 years of driving he has never had a speeding ticket or caused an accident during nearly one million miles at the wheel.

Mr Geeson got his licence at the age of 15 in 1925 driving a Model T Ford and bought his first car, a Wyllis-Overland Whippet, 10 years later for two pounds and ten shillings (£2.50).

He has owned dozens of cars and motorbikes in 84 years of driving and has no trouble on the roads despite never having to sit a formal driving test.

Mr Geeson, a grandfather-of-three, has only ever been involved in one accident - when another motorist shunted into the back of him in the pouring rain in 1958.

Mr Geeson a former garage owner, of South Witham, near Grantham, Lincs. said his driving motto is safety first and he had always been careful to observe the law.

He said: ''I have always said to myself if I stay on the right side of the law I've no reason to be scared of anyone or anything.

''We used to think that 60mph was very fast but now people seem to drive at 100mph and that's too fast for me.

''I've always been careful. Even the one accident I did have was down to somebody else."

Well done George, so if you are travelling up the A1 and the Peugeot 106 in front is doing seven MPH give him a wave as you pass him.

Council workers are given advice on how to eat biscuits safely in the latest example of health and safety rules taken too far.

One council has even claimed to have supervised tea breaks for safety reasons.

The tea and biscuit policies were disclosed in a survey about accidents caused by biscuits which was sent out as a joke by a biscuit company.

The fictitious 'British Biscuit Advisory Board' was created as part of a £3m marketing campaign by Fox's biscuits.

National television advertisements and billboards highlighted its campaign to 'educate the public about responsible biscuit choices and promote safer biscuit eating practices'.

A spoof 'workplace biscuit risk assessment test' - written in bureaucratic Health and Safety language - was created and issued to 5,849 council workers across the UK.

A total of 813 over-cautious council employees clicked through to the online survey and 437 worried workers actually took the time to complete it.
According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, 400 people a year in Britain had to be treated in Accident and Emergency departments for biscuit-related accidents. These included 'somebody falling over while reaching for a biscuit', someone slipping on a chocolate biscuit on their stairs and various people choking on biscuits.

However, a spokesman urged councils not to panic about biscuit-related injuries and suggested people should just use common sense.

A total of 441 primary councils were targeted by the survey. Of the 5,849 workers sent the survey 1,556 were in human resources departments and 516 worked in health and safety.


And finally:

A Somerset man has created a psychedelic hearse to offer funky funerals to the hippy generation.

Matthew Shuter, 54, says he saw a gap in the market with the 'baby boomer' generation now reaching their later years.
So he bought a Daimler hearse and had it covered in a funky psychedelic pattern.

Mr Shuter, who lives near Taunton, said: "The Woodstock generation is now dying out. They really lived a colourful life - they wouldn't want to go to their funeral in a boring black hearse."

As well as funerals Mr Shuter says the unusual vehicle is perfect for festival goers, or beach bums who need a way to transport their surfboards.

He said: "I had the idea while I was at Glastonbury this year. I noticed there are lots of flower power camper vans out there in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

"It doesn't just have to be used as a hearse - it's a brilliant surfing vehicle and requires minimum adaption to take a surfboard in on the rollers."

But Mr Shuter does not intend to pursue his unusual business idea himself. He plans to auction the psychedelic hearse on eBay.

I bid two daisies and an aspidistra




Angus Dei politico