Showing posts with label blighty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blighty. Show all posts

Friday, 24 June 2016


Dawns crack is about as wide as a wide thing can be, much solar stuff, remnants of skywater and not a lot of atmospheric movement at the castle this independent morn. 
It seems that Blighty is on the road to freedom, the great British (just over half anyway) public has expressed its hatred of the EUnuchs in Brussels and decided to go our own way.
Damn Cam has decided to throw his toys out of his Rolls Royce pram and bugger orf in October reinforcing the idea that he is a gutless Twat who hasn’t got the gonads to take it on the chin and soldier on.
Meanwhile alien reptile in disguise and chancer at the exchequer George I fucked up completely Osborn has it seems jumped into his space ship and gorn home to planet screw you I’m alright.
It may take years to sort out but it will be worth it, ignore the financial markets, the knobs that “run” them are only in it for the money not to help the people.
Now that most of us have told the Tories that we do not trust them and the Prime Monster is deserting I think it may well be time for a general election, and if as many people vote in that who voted in the referendum we may well get the government we deserve not the one we got for 30% of the electorate.
Just to kick things orf I am going to start a collection to pay for bricks to close orf the Chunnel.
And today’s thought: 

Friday, 3 May 2013

Oh to be in Blighty

OK I’m back-maybe; more than enough solar stuff, not enough lack of cold, just enough atmospheric movement and not even a watering can full of skywater at the Castle this morn, the last week or two have been “interesting”-ish, rested the elbow a lot, still managed to mow the moss (with a bit of grass in it), bordered the borders, hedged the hedges, visited most of the friends I have that are still alive, went to some nice places, cleaned the nu-Honda, sorted out the cupboards and fixed the leak in the shed roof.

This time of year is a bit dodgy for me, “M”s birthday four days ago, my old Mums in two days and my Dads five days after that which may explain my apathy, laziness, indifference, sloth or lassitude regarding the blog, visiting, commenting etc or it might be that I just couldn’t be bovvered or that I had nothing to say.


Anyway; after lying in the garden for the last few days soaking up the vitamin “D” and turning a nice shade of Bliar I decided to sweep the dust orf the laptop and put digit to keyboard, one thing I have noticed is that the hit rate (around a thousand a day) hasn’t changed much since I stopped blogging-maybe there is a lesson to be learnt there.


There is the usual bollocks on the box, Auntie is still only “reporting” one story each day-today it is the “Local Elections” which I didn’t bovver to take part in mainly because I can no longer tell the difference between the combatants, but it appears that old Niggle Garage’s lot seem to have soaked up most of the “protest” vote, the other load of twats are still arrogant enough to brush it orf as “mid-term blues” and “let’s wait and see what happens in the general election”.


Meanwhile back in the real world; the gas and leccy mob have put up my charges by 50% plus, the water thieves are still taking twice what I should be paying, the interweb provider has bumped up the “line rental” by over ten percent and I won’t even mention the price rises dahn Tesco.


So all in all not a lot has changed in the last fourteen days apart from getting more expensive, the Gov is still fucking about with All and Sundry, and I have to wait until next Wednesday to get the results of the x-rays and other “tests” before I know whether the elbow is treatable or the organic mechanics are going to get involved.

So there we are; the status quo is still in force, the country is still buggered, the Millionaires Club Coalition still can’t find their rear exits with a colonoscope, the economy is still verging on the ridiculous and I still don’t give stuff.


But on the bright side the garden is finally coming to life-there are oodles of those blue flowers-you know-oh yeah-forget me nots, the Brucie hedge has bloomed, the bluebells are on the rise, the azaleas are about to burst into blossom, the mock orange is almost mocking and the roses are shooting up faster than unemployment.


That’s it: I’m orf to get the sun longer out of the dry shed.


And today’s thought:
That’s the last time I sunbathe in the nude.





Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Have you heard the one about the Doctor?: The cost of U-Turns: Ridley road rats: Squealing squaddies: Trillion carat crater: Bedroom car park: and The Salt of the Earth.

The first inkling of solar activity has emerged from Dawn’s crack at the Castle this morn, quite a lot of lack of warm, even less atmospheric movement and a definite dearth of wet stuff.
The garden is in need of a minor fettle, the Honda is in need of a dust and his Maj is in need of a hobby.

To the Piss Poor GMC are on the up, according to the Piss Poor GMC report there were 8,781 in 2011 compared to 7,153 in 2010.
The rise is similar to the one the year before and continues a trend which has seen complaints jump by 69% in three years.
But the regulator said there was no evidence to suggest care was getting worse.
Instead, it claimed the rise was down to greater expectations and willingness to complain.
Allegedly nearly 5,000 were closed after an initial assessment, while another 1,537 were deemed not to impair a doctor's ability to practise medicine.
In total, 2,330 were investigated fully - a rise of 13% since 2010.
Only 158 of these have led to doctors being suspended or struck from the medical register with many more ending in warnings or advice being issued.
GPs, psychiatrists and surgeons attracted the highest rates of complaints, while men, and in particular older male doctors, were far more likely to be the subject of complaints than women.
The most complained about topic was the care and treatment given, followed by communication and respect for patients, which both saw large rises in the past year.
But the Piss Poor GMC said there was no evidence care was getting worse, pointing out other professions were seeing a rise in complaints too.

Oh well that’s alright then, I wonder how many accountants have killed or maimed their “clients”.


According to the National Audit Office the Prime Monster’s plans to halve the sentences of criminals who plead guilty has cost an extra £130million.
The Coalition came into power in 2010 pledging to take measures to tackle “the unsustainable rise in the prison population”.
Part of these plans was to release offenders after half their jail terms were served if they pleaded guilty at their trial. The move would have meant that 6,000 fewer offenders were in jail by 2015.
However in June 2011 the Prime Minister axed the plans to let off early offenders who pleaded guilty, and introduced instead watered down proposals that would see only 2,000 few criminals jailed.
In a report the National Audit Office said that this change of policy will cost the National Offender Management Service an extra £130million by 2015 - essentially the cost of housing an extra 4,000 offenders a day.

U-Turn Wanker...


Rats are being sold to the public alongside other forms of illegal and possibly contaminated forms of meat by a popular food market.
Grasscutter rats imported from Ghana were sold to undercover reporters by six butchers and shops on Ridley Road market in the Dalston area of Hackney, east London, together with blow-torched goat and sheep meat known as "smokies".
After seeing footage of the meat, filmed by the BBC, environmental health expert Paul Povey said: "It's all illegal and hasn't undergone health control, hasn't been inspected and may well be contaminated.
Cane rats are regarded as such a delicacy in Ghana that some farmers now rear them in cages. Smokies, which involve an un skinned sheep carcass being flame-cooked without the spine being removed, are banned in the EU on the grounds of public health and animal welfare, have also been linked to gang crime.

Num. num, num, yet another step towards the third world...


Terrified German squaddies are refusing to go out on night manoeuvres after being driven wild by a pack of young wolves.
The wolves, believed to be brothers, have been using the trainee soldiers in Munster for stalking practice as the troopers carry out black out exercises.
"They sneak up on you and leap on you without a sound. They try to bite our boots off and then run away," explained one victim.
Soldiers have been reprimanded by trainers for squealing in fright as they're ambushed by the three overgrown cubs, giving away their positions.
An army spokesman said the squaddies had received "words of advice" about how to deal with the wolves.

How times have changed...

According to the Kremlin huge stocks of diamonds in a 62-mile wide asteroid crater in Siberia will last for 3,000 years.
Scientist Nikolai Pokhilenko said: "We are talking about trillions of carats, bigger than all known world reserves."
The Popigai crater above the Arctic Circle has lain untapped because the old Soviet Union put all its efforts into making synthetic gems.

Diamond expert Gennady Nikitin said: "The diamonds can overturn everything and it is not clear what will happen to prices in the market."

So diamonds aren’t a girl’s best friend anymore then.....there must be enough carats there to feed the world.


A sleeping couple escaped injury after an out-of-control car crashed into their upstairs bedroom.
The couple were in bed at their home in Epsom, Surrey, when the Lexus rounded a bend, mounted a parked Audi, and smashed into the building.
The silver car punched a gaping hole in the first floor of the house, blasting debris across the bedroom and en-suite bathroom.
A number of other cars were also damaged in the incident, and a post-box, road sign and fence were destroyed.
A structural engineer was called to check the property as police investigated the cause of the accident, which happened at around 3am on Sunday.
One neighbour has described how she heard the early-hours crash.
She said: "It sounded like a plane coming out the sky. I think the car flew about 80ft before it came to rest in the side of the house."

Bloody Lexus drivers, really, really expensive alarm call...

And finally:

The Dead Sea is located in the Jordan valley bordering Jordan to the east and Israel and the West Bank to the west, and about 55 km southeast of Amman. Aside from the being the saltiest lake in the world, it is also Earth's lowest elevation on land. You have to descend 423 meters below sea level to reach its surface and shores. At 377 meters deep, it is also the deepest hypersaline lake in the world. Dead Sea has a salinity level of 33.7%, which is 8.6 times saltier than the ocean. As much as 340 grams of salt is dissolved per litre of water. The extreme salt concentration prevents any kind of macroscopic aquatic life such as fish and plants to flourish here, though minuscule quantities of bacteria and microbial fungi are present. The water of the lake is so dense that it is impossible to sink in the Dead Sea. In fact, a popular fad among visitors is to have their picture taken while reading a newspaper and floating on the surface of the water.

The Dead Sea is fed by the Jordan River but there is no outlet. Salts have accumulated in the basin, sometimes by percolation through the surrounding earth, gradually building up over the centuries. The water contains more than 35 different types of minerals including magnesium, calcium, potassium, bromine, sulphur, and iodine. The odd chemistry results in the appearance of some striking, but transient, salt crystal formations. In shallow lagoons at periodic intervals, these formations are natural works of art: billions of charged atoms in intricate geometrical formations shaped by nature into unique works of crystalline art.

Such as:

And the salt mushroom.

Is it me or is that a bit rude?



And today’s thought:
This is nice, glad we are in private...



Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Nice one ‘Gov’: The art of “Lords”: Cheesy goodness: Rondon Blidge has just gorn up: Pools and cons in Athens: and living the double entendre.

Dawn’s crack was nice and clear at the Castle this morn, it is a mere 88f in the master bedroom and a ‘cool’ 76f dahn in the kitchen and as I sit here wearing my new shorts a nice cool breeze is caressing my knees.

His Maj has buggered orf to find somewhere cool in the garden and since having the furnace “serviced” a few days ago I have no hot water.

And Blogger is doing strange things to my ramblings...

It seems that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has finally gorn and done it- Britain is in its longest double-dip recession for more than 50 years, according to official figures expected today.
Analysts believe gross domestic product (GDP) shrunk by about 0.2 per cent between April and June, its third consecutive three-month period of contraction. That would be the longest double-dip recession since quarterly records began in 1955 and is believed to be the worst since the Second World War. The last, in the 1970s, lasted only two quarters. 

Son of a .......Baronet and alien reptile in disguise George (what recession) Osborne defended the figures and is expected to point to Britain's low borrowing costs and to argue that the eurozone crisis is harming growth prospects in the UK.

The fact that the person in the street doesn’t have any money and is unable to buy things thus keeping “manufacturing” in the Gov rear exit seems to have completely missed what passes for a brain of the Bullingdon Bum Boy...

In the upper bit of the leaning tower of Westminster

As the unemployed exist on less than £70 per week Peers spent tens of thousands of pounds-worth of taxpayers’ money last year on paintings and other art despite the public spending squeeze.
Figures disclosed by Lords’ authorities’ show that in 2011/12 the House of Lords Works of Art Collection Fund spent nearly £175,000 on paintings and statues.
The amount spent is a 10-fold increase on the year before when just £18,000 was spent on works of art
The haul for 2011/12 included a £7,500 portrait of Viscountess Rhondda, by Alice Mary Burton, and a £25,200 House of Lords silver centrepiece by Brett Payne.
The Collection also spent £8,500 on a bust of Prince Philip, and a £5,000 watercolour by Robert Weir Allan of Queen Victoria’s Jubilee Procession on Whitehall.
The largest sum - £108,000 - went on new art bought especially for new peers’ offices at Millbank House in Westminster.
The collection has more than 8,000 works of art – of which 20 per cent are not on display throughout the House of Lords.
The earliest pieces in the collection date from the medieval age, with “major holdings dating from the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries” as well as some modern art.
A spokesman for the Lords said: "“The House of Lords works of art budget for purchases has been halved from £50,000 in 2010/11 to £25,000 in 2011/12. There will be no grant in 2012/13.
“In September 2011 the House of Lords opened a large new office block in Milbank House. A separate grant of £135,000 was provided to purchase works of art for the new building.

I see we are still “all in this together”....

According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition

Scientists say the chances of developing type two diabetes could be 12 per cent lower for those who love cheeses.

Although high in saturated fat, it may be rich in types of the fat that could be good for the body, they believe.
The findings on the effect of cheese, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, come from one of the largest ever studies to look at the role of diet in health.

One reason why cheese lovers may be at less risk of diabetes could be that the fermentation process triggers some kind of reaction that protects against diabetes and heart problems, the researchers said.

Two snags:
 1. The charity Diabetes UK warned against eating more cheese until the results were confirmed in other studies.

Dr Iain Frame, director of research, said: “It is too simplistic to concentrate on individual foods.

“We recommend a healthy balanced diet, rich in fruit and vegetables and low in salt and fat.

2. And I can’t afford to buy cheese anymore anyway....

At about 200 miles northwest of Shanghai, in China’s Jiangsu province, London’s Tower Bridge was added to the replica collection of famous landscapes from around the world.
This collection includes even the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Alexandre III Bridge.
In addition to these famous structures, there’s a Dutch-like town in the area, complete with windmills and Dutch-style houses.
Often called as the “Venice of the East,” Suzhou is like a second home to China’s Venetian tourists.
Even the “English-style coffee” that everyone loves so much is available at the cafĂ© at the top of the Tower Bridge.
The only thing that the Chinese Tower Bridge is missing is the raising mechanism to let boats pass by. Otherwise, it looks almost identical to the original one.


Allegedly Greece's largest maximum security prison won't get to keep its waterfall-adorned, barbecue-equipped pool.
The Justice Ministry on Tuesday ordered the destruction of a 7.4-meter (24-foot) long pool in the yard of Korydallos prison's psychiatric wing, saying the structure was built without permission and did not comply with health and safety standards.
The pool's existence at the jail near Athens was reported by a newspaper Sunday. The ministry said the structure, reportedly built last year, includes a small rock waterfall and a poolside barbecue installation.
Greece's Prison Officers Association said the pool was built using money the group raised and was restricted to staff and inmates at the psychiatric wing. Korydallos houses some 2,300 inmates, with about 300 receiving some form of psychiatric care.

Overcrowding at Greek prisons has worsened since the start of the country's major financial crisis in late 2009, according to the Justice Ministry and the prison officers association, due to a spike in violent crime and prosecutions for tax-related offenses.

Ah; the old Elfandsafety no pool ploy....


And finally:

All across our hot and sweaty land there lurks a veritable volume of naughty names.

We have:

Beaver Close, Surrey

Bell End, Worcestershire

Rimswell, East Riding of Yorkshire

Felch Square, Powys

Fine Bush Lane, Ruislip

Minge Lane, Worcestershire

Dick Court, Lanarkshire

Slag Lane, Merseyside

Hole of Horcum, North York Moor

Cockshoot Close, Oxfordshire

Spanker Lane, Nether Heage

Funbag Drive, Watford

Fanny Avenue, Derbyshire

Shitterton, Dorset

Lickfold, West Sussex

Ladygate Lane, Ruislip

Twatt - there's two! One in Shetland and another in Orkney

Cocks, Cornwall

Cockermouth, Cumbria

Fanny Hands Lane, Lincolnshire

Friars' Entry, Oxfordshire

Fingringhoe, Essex

Crotch Crescent, Oxfordshire

Cumming Court, Gloucestershire 

And my personal favourite: 

Butt Hole Road, South Yorkshire

Don’t you just love Blighty...

And today’s thought:
Olympic dairy farm


Friday, 13 July 2012

What a bleedin shambles.

Sunnyish, cloudyish, windyish, rainyish and coldish at the Castle this morn, the left elbow is a pain in ........the elbow and I don’t have the energy for a “proper” post. So here is the Angus Dei viewpoint on poor old busted Blighty.

Shambles-plural of sham·bles (Noun)

Noun:  A state of total disorder.

A butcher's slaughterhouse- (archaic except in place names).

It seems that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition has managed to balls just about everything up- 

The latest debacle is the Olympic security cock up, which has already cost us more than a smidge of loot promised to G4S for a job not well done at all and will cost us even more when the extra almost redundant soldiers who will lose their leave and spend a couple of weeks camping out in the Smoke arrive.
And as well as being over budget the Olympics is unfortunately...over here:

But the word “Shambles (either definition)” can also be applied to the following:

The economy




Social services


Fuel prices

Water management/prices

The railways

Gas prices


Leccy prices

And after not being able to go to the next town for a week because of the Farnborough Air Show I won’t be able to visit friends in the Smoke for two weeks without avoiding “Olympic lanes”, bus lanes, the congestion charge, detours, overcrowded trains, traffic jams and watching the petrol gauge slowly sinking towards empty as I sit among hundreds of thousands of sheep trying to get to work.

I still love this country, the shite weather, the fields of gold, the plains of water, the exorbitant parking charges if you go anywhere and the ‘slightly’ eccentric populace which still manages to function despite all the chaos. 

What I don’t love is the non-elected tosspots that inhabit the leaning tower of Westminster who are it seems incapable of rational thought, logic and seeing further than the end of their wallets when it comes to “what is best for Blighty”. 

I am tired of endless packs of MPs who couldn’t organise an erection in a cat house farting around with All and Sundry and their inept ramblings whilst trying to “Govern” what is left of the soon to be not United Kingdom while the old are treated as the fall people for all the ills in the world, the young are being left to rot on the temporary dole, people are dying of thirst in hospitals, taxes are rising faster than the speed of time, money is poured into countries that don’t seem to have a government of their own while pensioners look forward to spending their dotage in “care homes” waiting to pop orf so that the Gov can recoup costs by selling their houses and depriving the next generation of home ownership. 

It seems to me that Blighty is on the edge of a catastrophic collapse which will see us revert to the eighteenth century with work houses, debtor’s prisons, and vast numbers of homeless people begging on the streets while the rich will live in their gated estates surrounded by immigrant serfs tugging the forelock to their masters. 

It may not get that bad of course but the signs are there, the rich are still getting richer and the poor are still getting poorer, the family has almost gone, morals seem to have gone the way of a broken compass, the young hate the old, the old have not much future and those between are stuck with mortgages, kids, rising prices and no time to consider the big picture. 

Apparently in fifty years time things will be even worse, luckily I won’t be around to see it but shouldn’t those in charge change tack a bit, be a bit more “Blighty-ish” and concentrate on the UK, get us out of the EU stop giving our money to countries that can’t look after themselves, cancel all the Piss Poor “reforms” and try to make life a bit better for those of us who still live here? 

The money is there, it’s just that “they” don’t know how to allocate it, or to take a step back and have butchers at what is really going on.


Monday, 10 October 2011

Poor old Blighty

Warm and windy at the Castle this morn, just got back from Tesco on the stale bread, gruel and pussy food run and I am a bit miffed.
Over the weekend they have introduced the “give us a quid or you can’t have a trolley” policy, which is OKish but: they didn’t tell anyone and I didn’t have a quid in change so I had to stagger round with a basket and two of their “small green bags” to get my shopping.

And I suppose that the old guy who collects all the trolleys is now unemployed.

And just to make me feel better a couple of ditties.

Tesco are taking the piss
And it has lost its appeal
If you don’t have a pound you can stagger around
With a basket instead of some wheels

Sales are down but profits are up
Runneth over does their cup
Price drop they say to go is the way
So why has my shopping gone up

Tesco are taking the piss
There really is something amiss
When I have to spend more to get even less
My wallet is now in distress.


There once was a man called Dave
Who thought he was everyone’s fave
He has many millions but still screws civilians
Or should that be billions or zillions

Now Dave is a man with a mission
A bit like nuclear fission
Go the wrong way and goodbye today
As we all go down in decay

And Dave has a mate called Nick
Who is an obnoxious collude
His nose is so brown he takes it lying down
Os standing up if Dave’s in the mood

Dave wants a big society
And we all should act with propriety
To help each other is Dave’s big idea
But Dave is taking the urea

And as Blighty sinks into the sea
Dave and his mates all agree
That the rich will get richer, the poor will get poorer
But that’s how government works you see