Showing posts with label boris johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boris johnson. Show all posts

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Argy Atlantis: Boris exposed: Seven fingered Numpty: Brazilian virus: Death Wish Coffee: and Glowing with health.

Miserable misty stuff, much lack of warm, minimal atmospheric movement and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn, the butler is feeding fat, carbon neutral teenagers into the furnace with a will and his Maj has discovered the joy of ambush from the top of the kitchen cupboards.

I am orf to the General Medic tomorrow to have my elbow “pecked” so there may not be a post for a day-or three...


Apparently until the 1980s, Villa Epceun was a thriving tourist hotspot 350 miles south of the Argentinean capital Buenos Aires. All that changed on November 10, 1985 though, when a prolonged period of heavy rain caused the salt water lagoon that brought so many visitors to the area to burst its banks, submerging the entire village in 30 feet of water.
But 27 years later the waters have almost entirely receded and the town has re-emerged from the murk.
Roads can still clearly be made out, particularly around the town's slaughterhouse and its religious monuments.
A launderette, complete with tumble dryers and washing machines, can be seen in one image but, as with much of the rest of the town, the sheer force of the water that engulfed it has left the area in ruins.
And as always an Argy has claimed a bit of land and has moved back in, the village's sole occupant Pablo Novak said he spends his days cycling around the ruins, remembering his home town's “glory days”.
The 81-year-old said: “Until about four or five years after the flood, when the waters were still high, nobody came around here at all...I was totally alone. All day, every day”.
Mr Novak says that in recent months, more and more visitors have been returning to the area, some to view the waterlogged village, while others return in an attempt to salvage possessions they never thought they'd see again.

Spiffing; with the extra territory they don’t need the Falklands then....

In a forthcoming BBC 2 documentary, the mayor of London says he thinks the job of PM is "very, very tough".
But he will say he would like to "have a crack" at it "if the ball came loose from the back of a scrum".
The mayor has been talked up as a possible future Conservative leader, but he has always said he would see out his second term as mayor until 2016.
Documentary maker Michael Cockerell told the Radio Times that when asked whether he harboured any desires for the top job, Mr Johnson answered: "I think it's a very tough job being prime minister.
"Obviously, if the ball came loose from the back of a scrum - which it won't - it would be a great, great thing to have a crack at.
"But it's not going to happen."
In the documentary, Mr Johnson says he feels embarrassed about his past as a member of the notorious Bullingdon Club, a dining group for ex-public schoolboys at Oxford University, whose members also included Mr Cameron.
"This is a truly shameful vignette of almost superhuman undergraduate arrogance, toffishness and twittishness," he said.
"But at the time you felt it was wonderful to be going round swanking it up. Or was it? Actually I remember the dinners being incredibly drunken."
Asked about the club's reputation for smashing up restaurants, he admitted: "Yes. And the abiding memory is of deep, deep self-loathing."
Bonkers Boris also reveals there is a strategy behind his public persona: "As a general tactic in life, it is often useful to give the slight impression that you are deliberately pretending not to know what's going on - because the reality may be that you don't know what's going on, but people won't be able to tell the difference."

No change there then.....


Police in Pennsylvania said a man is facing weapons charges after shooting his own finger while attempting to "get rid of his wedding ring."
Bradford police said officers responded at 8:56 p.m. March 2 to a home on a report of a man intentionally shooting off his own finger and they arrived to find Alfredo Fortunato Malespini III, 31, a lieutenant at the Federal Correctional Institution-McKean, bleeding from a severe wound to his left hand, The Bradford Era reported Monday.
Malespini, who police said was highly intoxicated, told officers he was "trying to get rid of his wedding ring" and had decided to "shoot it off."
Police said the man's attempt had been unsuccessful, as the finger was nearly severed but the ring was still attached.

Twat....should have used some Vaseline-I’m sure there is an ample supply in the prison.


Allegedly having a Brazilian is bad for your health, a dermatologist in Nice, France, observed more and more patients coming to his office with molluscum contagiosum virus (MCV) outbreaks in their nether regions. About 93 percent of these 30 patients, both male and female, shaved, waxed, or clipped their pubic hair. This made Dr. Francois Desruelles, MD, wonder about the relationship between grooming downstairs and the spread of MCV.  
“Pubic hair removal is a body modification for the sake of fashion, especially in young women and adolescents, but also growing among men,” writes Desruelles in a letter published online in the British Medical Journal. “Anyway, pubic hair removal may be a risk factor for STMC [sexually transmitted MCV] or perhaps other STIs …”
MCV, a pox virus, spreads by skin-to-skin contact, from sharing items such as towels or clothes, or sexual contact. It causes pearly papules with dimples in the middle. While MCV looks unsightly, it is not painful and often goes away without treatment. Although a few bumps might be an inconvenience, some people develop hundreds of these papules, which can be embarrassing and disfiguring.
After looking at cases of sexually transmitted MCV, Desruelles believes that people are self-inoculating, meaning they are giving themselves pubic MCV from grooming. A person might shave a papule on her leg, for example, and the virus remains on the blade, which transfers it to her lady parts.

You’d need a strimmer to sort out my nether hair...


A New York man is marketing the world's strongest coffee - under the brand name of Death Wish Coffee.
Double the strength of an espresso, Death Wish Coffee even comes with a disclaimer warning drinkers to expect 'many sleepless nights'.
Mike Brown, the man behind the blend, used to work in a small coffee shop in New York, but got fed up with customers asking for stronger coffee.
"I always had customers coming in asking for our strongest and boldest roast," he said.
"I had to go through the process every day of explaining to them that dark roasts were actually the least caffeinated.
"This began my journey for finding and roasting the Death Wish bean and after many trial and error processes I found it.
"The type of blend, bean and roasting process we use makes Death Wish Coffee the strongest in the world.
"Its actual process is a secret because we have created something revolutionary and we do not want it stolen."

Think I’ll stick to the instant stuff...

And finally:

The largest pain management centre in the world, and a popular health tourism destination, the Healing Caves of Gastein welcome over 75,000 people every year. They all flock to this miraculous place to undergo a controversial form of therapy with radioactive radon gas used to cure a variety of medical conditions, from arthritis to psoriasis.

When the people of Gastein started exploring the nearby Radhausberg Mountain in search of gold, they had no idea they would discover something infinitely more valuable – naturally occurring low levels of radon gas. In time, they realized that the radioactive gas combined with the mountain caves’ high humidity and temperatures of up to 41.5° Celsius helped strengthen their immune system and cured some very serious illnesses. Word about the Gastein Healing Caves spread like wild fire throughout all of Austria, Germany and other Central European countries, and today Gastein is known not only as a world-class skiing destination, but also as a miraculous place of healing with a mind-blowing success rate of 90%. Most of the people who come here for radon treatment say a few sessions in the caves keep them pain-free for a whole year. Apparently, the radioactive gas is absorbed through the skin and lungs, activating the body at a cellular level and stimulating the self-healing process.



And today’s thought:
Who is next...?



Saturday, 1 December 2012

Exorcise your demons: Another Boris balls up: Brazil’s bums: Fake plane crash: Real plane crash: and the Unicorn Lair.

Even more layers of scrapey-scrapey stuff, even less lack of cold, just about the same amount of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of Keats and sod all solar stuff at the Castle this morn.

The battery in the Honda is a bit low on charge (lack of use) and it needs a good run to get it charged up, if I can raise the funds for go juice.


The Catholic diocese of Milan has doubled the number of priests who practice exorcism and set up a hotline to deal with the volume of calls.
In an interview published on a Church-affiliated news website, it said it had increased the number of specially trained priests from six to 12.
It has also published the names and mobile telephone numbers of priests able to deal with such requests.
The number, set up in early November, will run for a few hours each day.
People calling it will be able to book an appointment to see a local priest with specific training.
Monsignor Angelo Mascheroni, who has trained priests to carry out exorcisms for the past 15 years, said demand had soared recently.
"Often, parents call me saying that their son or daughter doesn't go to school, that they are taking drugs or rebelling. There's no demon there but, at the age of 18, young people don't want any more limitations. It's important to be able to discern the different situations," Monsignor Mascheroni said.

Well; bugger them.....


His latest cunning plan while cycling around India is to lower the top rate of income tax for those who are not “all in this together” to 30pees in the squid.
Speaking yesterday on the final day of his tour, bonkers Boris said: “You’ve got tax rates here of only 30 per cent – a point George Osborne might like to brood on.
Asked later whether he would stand for parliament and eventually launch a Conservative Party leadership attempt, balls up Boris said: “Three-and-a-half years in politics … we will have to see what will happen.” However, he then added when asked about becoming Prime Monster: “I can assure you that it is about as likely as me being decapitated by a Frisbee.”


Look out Boris incoming Frisbee....


Next Friday is the grand finale of Brazil's annual Miss Bumbum pageant in Sao Paulo. Fifteen curvy young ladies are competing after surviving an online eliminatory round that drew representatives of the country's 26 states and the federal district Brasilia.
The contestants worked hard to prepare for the final, including taking surfing and jungle training courses to tighten their buns.

Should have gorn to Specsavers....


A Chicago TV station spent about 15 minutes reporting on a plane crash that turned out to be simulated for the TV series "Chicago Fire."
WGN-TV reported on the crash, which was a simulated scene around 8 a.m. Friday for NBC series "Chicago Fire," complete with a small plane with its left wing splintered off, police cars and ambulance and extras acting as spectators, WMAQ-TV, Chicago, reported Friday.
Police said they did not receive any calls about the fake plane crash, but the Chicago Fire Department sent out an alert asking residents to disregard the scene.

Had the same sort of thing at the Castle a few years ago-almighty explosion from the “common” just up the road-shook all the windows, turned out to be a scene from a Bond film that “they” didn’t want anyone to know about....


A Venezuelan Air Force jet performed for crowds during an air show at the Maracay-El Libertador airbase.
Video footage filmed by a bystander shows the Chinese Hongdu K-8 jet-trainer making a low pass over the airfield when the nose of the plane dips suddenly.
The crew make the split-second decision to eject from the aircraft. Their parachutes can be seen deploying as the aircraft slams into the ground, where it is quickly consumed by a fireball. Both crew members survived the crash.

That’s the way to do it...

And finally:

According to “researchers” the existence of the unicorn has been proven.
Archaeologists "reconfirmed" the existence of a "unicorn lair" in Pyongyang, once used by an ancient Korean king.
The report quotes Jo Hui Sung, director of North Korea's history institute, explaining how the find tallies with information in history books from the 16th century.
He says: "Korea's history books deal with the unicorn, considered to be ridden by King Tongmyong, and its lair.
"The temple served as a relief palace for King Tongmyong, in which there is the lair of his unicorn."
The Korean Central News Agency reports that archaeologists made the extraordinary discovery when they spotted a rectangular rock carved with the words "unicorn lair" 200m from the city's Yongmyong temple.

There’s a bit of luck a signpost...


And today’s thought:
Move over “Dave”




Thursday, 1 October 2009

Broadband blues: Something in the air; The mouse that roared; Sell your granny and Boris on the box

One year today (see earlier post) and still going (just).

It seems that there is news about the Pooh; Winnie the Pooh that is, a new character has been introduced-Lottie the Otter, to bring a bit of life to the follow up book to reveal what happened next to Pooh and friends.

Some 71 years later it is fairly obvious, they are all on pensions that have been decimated by the Gov, and are living hand to mouth unable to heat their homes or buy hay.

And Gord talking about “turning it round”, coming from a Prime Minister that has done so many U turns he has screwed himself to the floor of number 10, it is a bit of a flight of fancy.

First up:

Britain's broadband networks have been ranked 31st out of 66 countries in terms of quality.

According to the report from IT giant Cisco, the UK's systems were found to be "meeting needs for today", but lagging behind most European neighbours including Bulgaria and Latvia, a host of Asian countries and the US.

Technologically-advanced Japan and South Korea were leading the way in terms of overall quality, the study found, with their broadband systems already rated "ready for tomorrow".
Cisco - which looked at broadband speeds as well as penetration - said the Britain's facilities would improve through the looming upgrades of cable networks.

Joanne Hughes, from the firm, told the BBC: "It can be a bit misleading to look at the rankings. The important thing is whether the broadband quality of a country is good enough for today's needs and the UK falls well within this category. We forecast the UK will improve because of things such as cable networks being upgraded and the Digital Britain report focusing on next-generation access."

So why are Gord and his gang threatening us with a broadband tax?

A brawling husband and wife forced a passenger jet into an emergency landing after flight staff feared they could crash the plane.

Czech couple Jiri and Katka Bartek began the punch-up in Budapest airport as they rowed over the husband working late.

But they continued the fight after take-off from the Hungarian airport for Cyprus, punching and kicking each other and pelting stewardesses with bottles and safety equipment.

"They were out of control and the pilot had no choice but to turn the plane around and make an emergency landing," said one stewardess.

Airline Malev has banned both passengers from flying with them again and police are quizzing them over public safety charges.

Bit of a Czechered flight then?
A field mouse dubbed 'the bravest mouse in Britain' was able to fend off a cat from its natural habitat by standing up to it outside its nest.

The field mouse made itself as big as possible to the cat after it ventured too near to its nest in Swavesey, Cambs.

Rather than run, the mouse squared up to its larger opponent and stood his ground. Eventually the cat got bored and turned away, before the mouse went back into its home.

"It was incredible, the little mouse stood up and seemed to be roaring at the cat," said Wendy Rothwell, 45, who spotted the encounter in her back garden.

"The cat was much bigger than him and could have killed him at any moment but he didn't seem to care.

Apodemus Sylvaticus with Gonads.

Internet auction site eBay banned a 10-year-old girl's attempts to sell her grandmother claiming it breached regulations on human trafficking.

Zoe Pemberton advertised her grandmother Marion Goodall, 61, of Clacton, Essex, on internet auction site eBay.

The youngster described Mrs Goodall as ''annoying'' but ''cuddly'' in her joke listing.

But eBay bosses removed the advertisement because the site does not allow humans to be bought and sold.

''Obviously we have rules about the selling of people,'' said an eBay spokeswoman.

''We had to take it down but it was quite amusing and there were a number of offers.

''The little girl had described her grandmother as 'annoying' but had gone on to say she liked crosswords and was 'cuddly' and there were quite a few offers.''

The spokeswoman added: ''The advert was obviously light-hearted and had been done with the full knowledge of grandma - we do get these kind of things from time to time.''

So how did a ten year old get an account with eBay then?

And finally:

London mayor Boris Johnson pops up in an episode of EastEnders tonight, sharing a pint at the Queen Vic pub with landlady Peggy Mitchell.

The mayor, who is a Daily Telegraph columnist, is the first politician to be honoured with a guest appearance in the popular BBC soap, which regularly pulls eight million viewers – double the average number for the News at Ten.

He is no stranger to television however, having proved to be a popular host on the topical news quiz, Have I Got News For You.

He materialises after the Queen Vic's landlady Peggy Mitchell develops an interest in local politics and spends all morning trying to track him down when he visits Walford, the fictional London borough where the show is set.

He is initially given a dressing down by Ms Mitchell, played by Barbara Windsor, who is angry about the lack of street-cleaners in her area, but the mop-haired classicist's charms eventually win her over.

Thursday, 12 February 2009


Just managed to sit down to write this, been a hell of a day, had to go to the dentist, who were an hour late, then I had to sort out some “official” pillocks who couldn’t find their arse in a dark room if they had a torch.

So I won’t be posting on the Politico blog today.

And just a few snippets on this one.

BBC NEWS A parent is jailed for their child's truancy once a fortnight every school term in England and Wales, analysis of court statistics shows.

In 2007 there were 10,000 prosecutions in England - up 76% since 2000.

The good old Gov has done their usual U-Turn-from this-The Labour government has made a priority of tackling truancy, introducing increasingly severe penalties.

To this-The government now says that it prefers to look at overall absence, including absences that have been authorised by schools, rather than to focus on truancy. On this measure, there has been an improvement.

Number crunchers of the world unite!

Women's traits 'written on face' -BBC NEWS it seems that a woman's personality traits may be "written all over her face", research has suggested.

The Glasgow University and New Scientist study examined whether self-assessed personality characteristics could be identified from appearance.

Dr Jenkins said “Overall the data is fascinating," he said. "It pushes the envelope in that we are looking at subtle aspects of psychological make-up.

"It also shows that people readily associate facial appearance with certain personality traits.

"It's possible that there is some correlation between appearance and personality because both are influenced by our genetic make-up."

No comment!

After my drawn out visit to the dentist, this caught my eye- Millions 'opt for DIY dentistry' Millions of people in England have resorted to DIY dentistry, a survey by consumer magazine Which? suggests.

The poll, of 2,631 adults, found 8% had tried to fix their own dental problems - and a similar number knew somebody who had tried.

Of those who admitted trying the DIY approach, one in four had tried to pull out a tooth using pliers.

Some 30% of DIY dentists had tried to whiten their teeth with household cleaning products.

Other DIY procedures people admitted to included:

• Using household glue to stick down a filling or crown (11%)
• Popping an ulcer with a pin (19%)
• Trying to mend or alter dentures (8%)
• Trying to stick down a loose filling with chewing gum (6%)


And finally

Our Boris loses his cool The Evening Standard says committee members were told by Mr Vaz that "the mayor used the F-word ten times".
Not so says Mr Johnson's aides he only used strong language “once or twice”

That’s OK then.

“This is a confusing and uncertain period, when a thousand wise words can go completely unnoticed, and one thoughtless word can provoke an utterly nonsensical furore.” Vaclav Havel


NHS Behind the headlines

Angus Dei politico