Showing posts with label brexit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brexit. Show all posts

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Here we are again? Manopause part 3, what a World, Saturday apocalypse, Buggered up Blighty Brexit and an anal Chinese worker.




Not much of a lack of warm, nary a whimsy of atmospheric movement, even less solar activity and more than enough skywater at the castle this last morn.




It has been many moons since the last post, this is dahn to the lack of testosterone and energy for poor old Angus, but after eleven long months of eight weekly injections in both arse cheeks and a “trough” level of 8.4 rising to 8.5 the “Consultant” finally increased the bum pricks to every six weeks and the result has been amazing, after just one round of jabs I have decorated the entire castle in lovely magnolia sorted out the garden, and replaced the piss poor Peugeot with a nice reliable Nissan, I did consider an Alfa but I didn’t want to spend most of my time waiting on the side of the road waiting for a breakdahn truck.







In the land of the brave and the home of the free America is being ruled by a childish septuagenarian war mongering psychotic fuckwit who it seems is intent on starting world war three with a childish Tricenarian war mongering psychotic fuckwit who seems intent on starting world war three.

Oh dear we are stuffed.





Apparently according to Revelations 12:1 a huge hidden planet is about to hit this planet or what’s left of it that we call home.

It is due to hit today and will spark a series of events that is likely to kill us all,

Or not.......







 Prime Monster Terry “leather legs” Maybe our beloved prevaricating leader who reminds me of the bastard child of a Dementor and one of the giant spiders in Harry Potter is still arsing about over Brexit, her latest crap “speech” which she had to travel to Florence to vomit out includes sound bites such as:



Transition period could be around two years, during which time access to the single market will continue on current terms

· a "bold new security agreement" between the UK and EU


· On trade, both sides could do "so much better" than adopting existing models


· The UK would honour commitments made while it remains a member


· There was "no need to impose tariffs where there are none now"




· EU chief Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier described the speech as "constructive"




Bollocks...



And finally:











Construction worker Yang Ming underwent a seven-hour operation to remove the reinforced steel after it shot up through his anus and stopped just under his right shoulder, narrowly avoiding contact with his vital organs.


He accidentally electrocuted himself with live wires and fell backwards, landing on a bar on the ground in the building site.


Mr Ming’s intestines, bladder, pancreas, liver and lungs suffered minor tears but none of the injuries were critical.


He lost just a point of blood in the industrial accident and he is now recovering in hospital.


The bar was removed intact.



I know how he feels I’ve had a prostate exam......


That’s it: I’m orf to get my old ears tested




And today’s thought:


Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.



Angus

Saturday, 24 December 2016

And so-is this Christmas? Manopause part 2: Brexit-again: Russian river rat burgers: Knob of a robber: Frozen pussy and Spot the sheep.

Just a glimpse of dawns crack, total absence of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of lack of warm and molecules of skywater at the castle this Crimbo eve morn.



Went to Tesco yestermorn on the stale bread, gruel and His Maj’s food run, as it is apparently yet another Crimbo I thought I would get dahn there early-6.30 of the AM, what a bloody mistake that was, the place was heaving, had to park the Peugeot miles from the entrance there were hardly any trolleys left and it was even worse inside.

What is it that prompts “us” to totally lose control of our minds at this time of the year? There were umpteen pairs of “shoppers” staggering around with a trolley each piled to the gunnels with stuff that will not be consumed, screaming snot nosed brats demanding this, that and anything within reach of their podgy little arms, and the checkouts- all ten out of thirty were backed up to the dairy section with the flash of credit cards blinding those in the queues..


Could “we” not be a little more sensible?




The Manopause is still in motion, had two “treatments” so far, the first was a massive jab in the right buttock which managed to sting for two weeks and wore orf after a week, the second was half a massive jab in each arse cheek (because apparently the dose is too high for one jab)  four weeks later which hasn’t even kicked in yet but has managed to raise my blood sugar levels to stratospheric numerals.

The next treatment is on the 16th January, really looking forward to that.....







Meanwhile the new Prime Monster Terry leather legs Maybe has issued her first Crimbo speech, and has urged Britain to "unite and move forward" after the Brexit vote.

Methinks Maybe is holding orf until the EU Elections are sorted because it “maybe” that many more countries are just as pissed orf at the EU as we are.

Time will tell......








I know that times are hard in Russia but Moscow's latest food craze appears to have scurried straight from the river bed onto diners' plates. It's a burger made of rodent meat.

A chef at a Russian bistro said the burger is simple, tasty and full of nutrients.

It is made from the meat of a "nutria", or river rat.

Burgers made from its meat look like most hamburgers.

They have become the latest must-have dish in the Russian capital.

The chef said the rodent's meat has nutritional benefits that have recently been discovered.

He insists the river rodent is not actually a rat.

The U.S. Agriculture Department describes the nutria as a two-foot long, invasive rodent.

The nutria burger sells at the Moscow restaurant for the equivalent of about $8.50 in U.S. dollars.



Rather them than me......




An armed robber walked into the Lotions & Lace store in San Bernadino with a covered face and what appeared to be a gun, shortly before closing time on Wednesday.

Store manager Amy said she wasn’t scared, and was convinced the gun was a fake – and she was having none of it.

CCTV captured the moment the armed robber was hit with a hail of dildos:

‘I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us,’ Amy told ABC.

‘But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don’t have time for this.’

She and another equally feisty employee began yelling and pelting dildos at the man, who fled the store empty-handed in a state of shock.


What a dick....




A cat in Russia will be counting her lucky stars after being rescued from a freezing puddle.

The fluffy feline somehow managed to trap her paws in an icy puddle and panicked when she could not escape.

Luckily for her, a passing couple came to her aid – although her frozen fur suggests she had been stuck in the puddle for quite some time.

A bucket of warm water soon freed the shivering cat who remained calm throughout.
The lucky moggy was probably grateful she was rescued in time and didn’t have to give up one of her precious nine lives.


Why are cats so daft?


And finally:



As its Crimbo here is a festive puzzle.

The answer is in the link.





And today’s thought: Happy thingamy to all and sundryJ and a much better 2017....



Angus


Saturday, 16 April 2016

No Surprises There Then:


Much lack of warm, oodles of sky water, more than a bit of atmospheric movement and not a glimpse of Dawns crack at the castle this morn.

It has been many moons since I put finger to keyboard, bits have dropped orf and been replaced, other bits have broken and been fixed, but poor old Angus is now up and “running” on seven out of eight cylinders.

His Maj is just as batty as ever, but has grown into a big, friendly, playful boy.

The butler is still refusing to “do” outside and the garden is waking up from its winter sleep.

Finally upgraded to Windows 10, with the help of “classic shell” I have managed to make it look like windows 7-win, win.

 

Many, many things have happened just lately, apparently “They” (otherwise known as the rich) have been hiding their stash abroad without telling the taxman, Prime Monster Damn “Dave” blames his dad, and is trying to scare us out of leaving the EU.

Not working is it Dave....

 

Son of a B.....aronet and alien reptile in disguise chancer at the exchequer George (where is Panama?) Osbourne has jumped on the Bremain band wagon and is threatening interest rate rises if we dump Europe.

 

Or maybe not......



 

Meanwhile old fart Jezza Corbyn who is also in the Bremain camp (this time anyway) was fined for sending in his tax return late.

 

                                                      Left across the big salty thing
 

A “Tiger whisperer has been mauled to death Malayan tiger inside its habitat, Stacey Konwiser, 38, suffered a "severe bite" wound while inside the big cat's habitat on Friday afternoon, say zoo officials.

She was performing basic tasks with the male Malayan tiger at the time, said zoo spokeswoman Naki Carter.

 

                                                          Dahn Unda and right a bit
 
 

Apparently those attached to the Victorian mode of transport have finally emerged into the nineteenth century-electric bikes.

With 2327 imported last year, they were 1 per cent of all bike imports, but this marked a near four-fold increase since 2012. Retailers report sales growth of 35 per cent a year.

Importer and retailer Neil Pollett, owner of Flux, in Ponsonby, says the "grey-power" age group were first to embrace e-bikes, but the trend had caught on with people in their 30s to 50s, and even younger.

New Zealand Post has 280 e-bikes and 25 more on order, a spokeswoman said. "The New Lynn, Rotorua, Kapiti and Timaru branches are all using e-bikes, plus we have a sprinkling of others around the country. The e-bikes are good on hills and on the flat.

 

And finally:

 

                                               Apparently the “new” Papa is a catholic
 
 

Better than being a Nazi I suppose.

 


 

And today’s thought:

It is terrible to speak well and be wrong. -Sophocles 

Angus