Showing posts with label brits abroad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brits abroad. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Brits abroad, hygiène publique, The Daily Numpty, Big Dick, small car and Flaming Balls

Weather-pissing down, mood-not happy, post-lugubrious.

First up:

We all know that the British embassies are there in foreign countries in case we get into trouble or need a passport if ours is lost or stolen, well apparently not.

Help with shoe buying, jam making and breast-enlargement surgery are among the bizarre requests made by travellers to British embassies worldwide.

The would-be jam maker asked what ratio of fruit to sugar should be used, the Foreign Office (FO) said.

A holidaymaker visiting Italy asked embassy staff where a particular brand of shoes could be bought.

And a lady unhappy with the size of her surgically-enhanced breasts asked for consular assistance.

The FO also reported that a mother has asked the consulate in Florida to help her teenage son pack his suitcase and give him a lift to the airport as he was feeling unwell.

Other requests have included asking for embassy staff to pay a bill when a credit card had ''maxed out'' and a traveller asking ''Can you tell me how to make my naughty son behave?''

Juliet Maric, the British Consul in Alicante, Spain, said: ''If you have a serious problem abroad - maybe you've been involved in an accident, have lost your passport or are a victim of crime - we can help you.

''But we can't tell you who is allowed to use your swimming pool, pay your taxi fares for you - or do anything about the exchange rate. We regularly get inquiries from people who think we're a one-stop-shop for any problem they might encounter while abroad.

Only the Brits?

A French woman who converted to Islam has been banned from wearing a "burkini" in a swimming pool outside Paris.

The woman, named only as Carole, 35, was told that the garment, a swimsuit that covers most of the body, was "inappropriate" clothing for a public baths.

Pool staff said her three-piece Islamic swimsuit she bought in Dubai - consisting of a headscarf, tunic and trousers - was against pool regulations and unhygienic.

They had "reminded her of the rules that apply in all [public] swimming pools which forbid swimming while clothed," said Daniel Guillaume, a manager at the pool in the suburb of Emerainville.

The ban was imposed as President Nicolas Sarkozy's government is considering an outright ban on all Islamic dress, such as the head-to-toe burka or niqab, that it considers a "sign of subservience" and "not welcome" in France.

"Burkini" is derived from the words bikini and burka.

Carole, who converted to Islam aged 17, said that one lifeguard had initially given her permission to wear the garment.

She said: "When I bought it I was told it would afford me the pleasure of swimming without revealing my body, which is what Islam recommends.

"I called three swimming pools in my area and a lifeguard of one at Emerainville asked me to come and put my burkini on so he could make up his mind.

"He saw no problem with it, but warned me he alone would not have the final decision."

She bought a season ticket for the pool for herself and her children and was initially allowed to swim several times.

But on Aug 1, she was suddenly banned from wearing the burkini because it was against hygiene regulations.

Carole, however, said she was "made to understand it was a political problem".

"For me, it's segregation and I am going to fight to try and change things," she said.

France is home to Europe's largest five million Muslim population. In 2004, it passed a law banning students from wearing veils and other religious symbols in schools.

I hate to say this but I agree with the French, I wouldn’t fancy jumping in the water after someone who was fully clothed has been swimming, but as usual I see the “victim” has played the “segregation, race, religion” card, and to be honest I am getting fed up with everybody who is not allowed to do something which is obviously outside the range of “normal behaviour” claiming that they are being discriminated against.

If this woman wants to swim fine, buy a proper swimsuit, or change her religion, don’t go to a swimming or build a pool in your garden, but don’t impose your rules on me: when in Rome..........

The pilot of a micro-light aircraft was recovering last night after a "miracle escape" when his plane crashed into a tree and got lodged there, on the 15th hole of a golf course.

The plane stuck in the tree between the 14th and 15th holes on Caird Park Golf Club, Dundee, trapping the man about 20ft off the ground.

He suffered head wounds but was still conscious after the crash late yesterday afternoon and was able to talk to medics at the scene while they freed him.

A golfer on the public course raised the alarm after witnessing the incident. Greg Marti, who was also on the course, said: "It's incredibly lucky. The pilot has not just saved his own life but avoided a catastrophe.

"It is a miracle he is alive. He must have been pretty capable at handling that aeroplane. He must have seen what was ahead and kept away from the built-up areas. He deserves credit."

A worker on the golf course said there were unconfirmed reports that the pilot had run out of fuel while heading for a nearby airport.

No he doesn’t deserve credit he deserves to lose his flying license for running out of fuel.


A Fiat owner in London is driving about with the above “art” on his/her bonnet, he/she has obviously pissed somebody off rather badly.

And finally:

A crystal ball ornament caused a flat fire after magnifying the sun's rays and making a television explode.

Kim Yeates, a former BBC production assistant, praised "heroic" neighbour Neil Clarke after he saw the flames and jumped through a window at her home in Worle, Somerset to see if she was inside.

Yeates was meeting a friend in nearby Weston at the time and escaped the blaze caused by the globe, valued at £20.

The set blew up after the beam burned relentlessly on its side, creating a noise that could be heard several streets away.

A spokesman for Avon fire and rescue service said: "It's thought the fire started accidentally after sunlight refracting through a crystal ball on the windowsill had caused the curtains to catch fire, spreading to a nearby sofa, where a television had been placed on the sofa ready to be thrown away."

The crystal ball must have been broken as well since no one foresaw the fire.

Now the sun has just come out, I give up.


Angus Dei politico


Saturday, 8 August 2009

Saturday Snippets

Barking mad, Yellow peril, Prezza, Top Gear and Brits abroad

And here is the weather: sunny, warm and apparently there will be weather all day, and even all night so say the experts.

First up:

Across the pond in Three Rivers, Michigan a man has been arrested in for barking at a police dog. The Three Rivers Police Department said officers responded Monday evening to an apartment complex to investigate a suspicious situation.

Police said Wednesday in a statement a 26-year-old man in the area "began to torment" a police dog inside the patrol car by barking and shouting at it, causing the animal to become excited and "very aggressive."

The man was arrested and later released on bond. He faces a charge of disorderly conduct.

He was sent home with a bone, a stick and his walkies were curtailed.

The Crown Prosecution Service spent £20,000 on the trial of a man accused – and later acquitted – of stealing a 25p banana, it has emerged.

James Gallagher, 23, was found not guilty this week of stealing the fruit from an Italian restaurant in Birmingham's Bullring shopping centre before it opened at 8.45am on 13 March.

The two-day trial was heard in Birmingham crown court rather than a magistrate’s court – incurring significantly more costs for the CPS – because Gallagher elected to have his case heard in front of a jury. He said he believed that magistrates would have found him guilty.

Gallagher, from the Handsworth area of Birmingham, said after the trial: "It's shocking, it's just a waste of taxpayers' money. I cannot understand how they've got away with it."

The CPS defended its decision to spend around £20,000 on the case. In a statement, Martin Lindop, the district crown prosecutor for Birmingham, said: "It is not the cost of the item that determines whether we proceed with a prosecution, but whether there is sufficient evidence for a realistic prospect of conviction and it is in the public interest.

"In this case, we felt that there was sufficient evidence and it was in the public interest for the prosecution to proceed."

British Justice at its best

Prezza has come out fighting over climate change, Vital UN climate change talks in Copenhagen are likely to collapse unless rich nations agree a "social justice deal" built around equalising emissions per head in each country, according to the former deputy prime minister John Prescott.

Speaking to the Guardian, Prescott admitted that the formula would require far greater sacrifices by rich nations, especially the US. Prescott, one of three politicians to broker the original UN climate change deal in December 1997, is to become deeply involved in trying to ensure there is a successor to Kyoto.

He met leaders of Barack Obama's climate change team in Washington a fortnight ago, and is due to travel to China on 8 September at the same time as Lord Mandelson, the business secretary.
He will be given an honorary professorship at Xiamen University for his work on climate change.
Prescott will also stage an international conference from 28 September on the principles of a deal for Copenhagen, to be opened by Rajendra Pachauri, the chair of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, and addressed by Al Gore. The conference, organised by the Council of Europe, will have 65 states present.

Prescott is also going to lead a Gore-style campaign in schools in October showing the film The Age of Stupid, starring Pete Postlethwaite, portraying a devastated planet in 2050 owing to world leaders' failure to act on climate change.

So he is flying all over the world, eating copious amounts of food and then telling the rest of us not to fly all over the world or eat copious amounts of food.......

There is a rumour about that Top Gear will not return after the last episode was shown this week, I hope it is wrong, what I hope will happen is that the presenters will be replaced with “normal” people.

The show used to be interesting, and actually was about cars, but it has degenerated into a farce, Jezza is about as PC as Hitler, and has managed to offend lorry drivers, pikies, and just about any other section of society that constitutes its audience.

All we get now is presenters playing with very expensive motors that are far beyond the means of the majority of motorists, trips to all parts of the globe paid for by the license payers, so that they can enjoy themselves, ridiculous road trips featuring ancient bangers (paid for by the license payer), and inane tests set by the producers (paid for by the license payer).

Jezza, the Hamster and captain slow have become arrogant and inane, and think they are very funny, not in my book, can we not return to the days when a car programme was about cars that we can actually afford, and give information that is relevant to us, and inform the license payer about said cars.

And finally:

A Greek woman appeared in court in Crete today accused of setting fire to a British tourist after he allegedly pulled down his trousers in front of her.

Marina Fanouraki, 26, was charged with assault after the incident in the holiday resort of Malia in which she is said to have poured a flammable liquid over the man and set fire to it with a lighter.

Stuart Feltham, 20, from Swindon, suffered second-degree burns and is recovering in a private clinic. He was reported as having suffered burns to his genitals, but the Foreign Office said it understood that his chest and abdomen were injured.

The story made headlines in Greece, where some have hailed the woman a hero. Tension between drunken British tourists and locals in Crete is on the increase. Only last month two British visitors were beaten up in Malia after one crashed a motorcycle into a supermarket.
Fanouraki, a student, turned herself in to police and she appeared in court in Iraklion, the biggest town in Crete, wearing jeans and large dark glasses.

She claims she was acting in self-defence and only threw a drink in Felltham’s face.

Her lawyer said: "He fondled my client's breasts and buttocks and she poured her drink over him and left. Shortly afterward she heard cries and saw her friends trying to extinguish him."
Fanouraki was given time to prepare her defence and will appear again in court next week. When she was released she was congratulated by passersby.

Feltham, a plumber who lives with his parents, was coming to the end of a two-week holiday on the Greek island with five friends when the incident occurred at the Stefanos Hotel, Malia, on Wednesday night. He had been out at a party and returned to the hotel bar.

His father said: "The hotel staff had been very good to them, and he wanted to buy the barman a drink and say goodbye. He was burned from his neck to his bellybutton, and his hair's been singed. He's fine now, and we've spoken to him. The doctors say he's progressing well, and he's in good spirits. We just want him home – we want to look after him."

Last month British officials launched a campaign across the Mediterranean urging tourists to drink sensibly and keep out of trouble. Hotels and bars in destinations including Majorca, Turkey and Crete are stockpiling leaflets, cards and posters produced by the Foreign Office that entreat tourists to "know their limits".

In Greece, where young British tourists account for more than 70% of consular cases, messages such as "drinking makes you more vulnerable to violent crime" have been put on beer mats.
A Foreign Office spokeswoman said of the incident in Malia: "We can confirm that in the early hours of Tuesday a British male national was assaulted in Crete. We understand he suffered burns. He has been receiving consular assistance."

Flaming hell!