Showing posts with label budget. Show all posts
Showing posts with label budget. Show all posts

Friday, 21 March 2014

Flotsam and some jet?: Budget bollocks: NHS complaints process bollocks: ATOS lies-again: Old fart pilot and the parachute: Crash test Roos: and Crash test failure:

Much lack of lack of cold, more than a whimsy of atmospheric movement, quite a lot of ex skywater and just a glimpse of dawn's crack at the Castle this morn.

Poor old Angus is doing OK, the diabetes thing is now back under control despite a toof ache-toof out-infection and antibiotics, and I spent most of the last more than seven days fettling the garden; extra bamboo screens, moved the stepping stones to accommodate the new extendable washing line, put up a new fence in the quiet corner, painted the fences (hint-DO NOT buy Homebase's own "light oak" fence stuff-it is orange when applied-even more orange with a second coat, I finally used B&Q's own stuff which is artistically called "brown"-covered in one coat), and did the first cut on the moss. I even washed the Honda...



The hunt for MH370 goes on, and on, and on, it seems that the latest "clue" is a blurry photo of something that looks like a giant upside dahn motor, but the mystery deepens as it turns out that A US technology company which had 20 senior staff on board Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 had just launched a new electronic warfare gadget for military radar systems in the days before the Boeing 777 went missing.


So a few hints as to where it may be:

Norf Korea's rear exit.


The Castle's moat.


How is it that "they" can listen to all our phone calls, see all our emails but can't find a bleedin great jet with an orange black box that is emitting beeps every few moments?



Apparently son of a B........aronet and alien reptile in disguise chancer of the exchequer George (I love pensioners) Osborne has done yet another Budget, which will allow the elder part of the population to snatch and squander their pension pots.

This will of course allow we old farts to buy "luxuries" such as gas and electricity, food and even some go juice for the motor as well as being able to buy more than one pint of beer and play bingo to excess.

And will of course "stimulate" the economy adding many squillions in tax to the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalitions' coffers.


Cheers George......



After many years and many deaths allegedly the Healthwatch England watchdog thingy has come to the conclusion that the complaints system for the NHS in England is "hopelessly complicated" and needs an overhaul.

Apparently Healthwatch England says more than 70 organisations are involved in dealing with complaints about the NHS and social care.

It wants the process to be simplified to ensure patients get more support.

Healthwatch England chairwoman, Anna Bradley, said: "It's no wonder the public are left confused and frustrated. With so many organisations involved it's difficult to know where to start, let alone having the strength and persistence to navigate the system on your own.


No shit...remember the photo, we will be watching....


Allegedly ATOS that wonderful French supplier of the infamous Fit to work assessments which went so well that they want to end the contract early has now managed to secure the contract for the PIP (personal independence payments) has been telling porkies to grab even more of our loot.

In its tender document, submitted to the Department of Work and Pensions, Atos suggested that more than 700 healthcare providers, including 56 NHS hospitals, had contractually agreed to provide accommodation where assessments for new Personal Independence Payments could take place. It claimed the “hyper-local” network would mean that no disabled claimant would have to travel more than 60 minutes to attend an assessment, with “over 90 per cent of claimants able to reach the centres in 30 minutes”.

But the Public Accounts Committee heard that, since the scheme was launched, over 40 per cent of all claimants have had to travel for more than an hour to reach an assessment centre, with only 40 per cent being able to reach a suitable location in less than 45 minutes.

Atos had in fact contracted fewer than 100 healthcare providers to provide accommodation – and a miscalculation by the DWP over how long each session would take meant that some severely disabled people were waiting longer than six months to be seen.

MPs accused Atos of “playing fast and loose with the truth” in the bid document – resulting in ministers misleading Parliament about how the scheme would work.

Personal Independence Payments began to replace Disability Living Allowance in April last year. Most people applying for PIP have a face-to-face assessment to determine eligibility, which is carried out by Atos Healthcare and Capita Business Services.

But a report from the National Audit Office found claimants were waiting an average of 107 days, and terminally ill patients 28 days, for a decision on their cases – much longer than had been predicted.

MPs told Lisa Coleman, senior vice-president of Atos, that they believed the firm had been misleading in its bid document.

“You only managed to work with a quarter of the trusts you named in the document,” the committee’s chair, Margaret Hodge, told her. “If there had been one or two falling out then I could have accepted your argument – but only a quarter?”

She then asked: “Is it usual to lie in the tender document, Ms Coleman?”

Ms Coleman told the committee that because the DWP had pushed back its plans for mandatory re-assessment of all DLA claimants until 2015 fewer sites were needed than had been suggested in the bid document. “We have had sufficient coverage,” she said. “If we had used all 750 sites they would [each] be doing about three assessments a week.”

Ms Coleman added: “What we talked about in the tender document was what we thought we could achieve. When you write a tender document you say this is the specification that I can deliver. This is what I am responsible for.”

She added: “We are not there yet. I am not going to sit here and say we are.”

An Atos spokeswoman subsequently said the company categorically denied making misleading claims in the tender document.


 Yeah right......


87-year-old pilot Shannon Trembley was practicing take orfs and landings at South Lakeland airport in Mulberry, Florida when he managed to crash into a parachutist who wasn't practicing landings but took orf again.

His Cessna got caught in Mr Frost’s strings and spun through 180 degrees before crashing into a landing field.

Onlookers pulled Mr Trembley out of the plane in case it caught fire.

Emergency services arrived soon afterwards and took the two men to hospital.

Mr Frost was later allowed home but doctors kept Mr Trembley in for observation.

The National Transportation Safety Board and Federal Aviation Administration are investigating.


Should have gorn to Specsavers...


Volvo has been testing its automatic braking system with crash test Kangaroos, apparently there are more than 20,000 kangaroo strikes on Australia’s roads every year?  In response to the rogue roo problem, Volvo is in the process of training it’s City Safe autonomous braking system to recognize kangaroos that enter into the path of the vehicle. The system  are responsible for -and automatically slam on the brakes if the driver does not.

The system was originally developed to detect pedestrians; later this year the same setup will enable selected Volvo cars to also detect cyclists.

A radar sensor in the grille scans the road 100 metres ahead and a camera in the windscreen works with the radar to detect which way the object is moving to help the computer decide what action to take, if any.

The system processes 15 images every second and can react to an emergency in half the time a human driver can, Volvo claims. With some kangaroos taller than six feet, the system may prevent considerable vehicle damage.


Didn't go too well on the last try..


Volvo claims it is working on a system that can recognize dogs and cats.


How can a motor know that his Maj is called His Maj?



And finally:



Right more than a lot of imperial yards Independent car safety body, Global NCAP, has found that a number of small cars on sale in India pose a very serious risk to their occupants in the event of a crash.

In the first-ever independent crash tests of some of India's most popular small cars, Global NCAP awarded entry-level models of the Volkswagen Polo, Ford Figo and previous-generation Hyundai i10 zero stars for adult protection. This is in stark contrast to the current European equivalents – the Ford Fiesta and Polo achieved a five-star rating in their Euro NCAP tests, while the old Hyundai i10 managed a respectable four.

India's best-selling car, the Suzuki-Maruti Alto 800, was also assessed, as was the Tata Nano. The five cars were afflicted by two major problems – namely a lack of structural integrity and an absence of airbags, meaning that too much energy is absorbed directly by the people in the cars in the event of a crash.

In the 40mph NCAP crash test, the Indian version of the i10 achieved a zero-star rating for adult protection, a one-star rating for child protection and was unable to meet the UN's minimum safety requirements in the 35mph crash test. Along with the Alto 800 and Nano, the i10 was also found to be structurally inadequate, collapsing onto occupants in a crash too easily.

The Ford Figo, which is based on the previous-generation Ford Fiesta platform, achieved zero stars for adult protection and a two-star rating for child protection. What's more, it only met the UN's minimum safety requirements in the 35mph crash test because the dummy's head in the driver seat narrowly avoided direct contact with the steering wheel.

Glad they are not sold in Blighty...

That's it: I'm orf to get a new app for the smart phone

And today's thought:

They seek it here, they seek it there


Thursday, 22 March 2012

Budget Wibble- See how you are being screwed: Flying Dutchman; and he’s not a lumberjack....

Finally, finally managed to find the time and strength to put finger to keyboard, been a busy week-oodles of vandalism in the garden (photos to follow) and after two days in the car orspital having all its stopping bits replaced the Honda has passed its MOT at the cost of an arm and a leg (plus other body parts).
Just returned from the stale bread, gruel and his Maj’s food (which has gorn up by 50p since last week) run dahn Tesco-only another few months till Morrisons opens.

 And yet again apologies to those who have commented/emailed-I will get round to it...

Not a lot-typical Tory thinking-give those on more than enough even more, have yet another go at smokers, drinkers, drivers and the old.
But if you can summon up the energy click on these links to find out how you will do.


And then have a cogitate about who we didn’t vote into office...

Allegedly British university educated engineer Jarno Smeets claims to have achieved birdlike flight with a set of man-made wings in a video that has spread rapidly around the internet.
Claiming to have based his bird-like contraption on sketches from his grandfather, the project can be traced from its origins on the Dutch mechanical engineer's website.
After studying at the University of Coventry, Mr Smeets claims to have worked with neuromechanics expert Bert Otten to create a design based on the mechanics used in robotic prosthetics which helps to give his muscles extra strength.
However, according to the former Coventry student, his own body strength was only capable of providing five per cent of the necessary power so to make up the shortfall he fitted extra motors to the wing suit.
When he landed after the 60-second flight, he said: “At one moment you see the ground moving away and then suddenly you’re free, a really intense feeling of freedom.
 The true feeling of flying; A ******* magical moment. The best feeling I have felt in my life.”

Good luck with that....Studied in Coventry-isn’t that in the area where “that’ll do” British Leyland was based-and we all know how well that went...

And even more finally (for a while):

An amateur lumberjack has been caught on video trying to cut down a huge tree just feet from his home - with disastrous consequences.

In the clip, uploaded to YouTube, four wedges are driven into the trunk before the man takes to the evergreen tree with an axe.

Seconds later, the creaking and groaning of timber can be heard - before the giant conifer slowly crashes down directly onto the one story house.

The axe man seems 'stumped' for a moment and then shouts, "my house!" and a few seconds later "my bedroom!" along with “shit”.

I do love a Numpty...


And today‘s thought:

Nature does flying much better.


Sunday, 18 March 2012

The wrong trousers: Tory Wibble Wankers: and Up-up and not away...

‘tis pleasant at the Castle this morn, sunny, warmish, calm and clement, finally finished the second course of non-penicillin antibiotics a couple of days ago, feeling much, much better and able to put digit to keyboard once again (told you not to get excited..) and apologies to those friends who commented/emailed with nice things to say and whom I ignored over the last week or so.

Not quite firing on all cylinders yet but there will be a post every couple of days...

And I have a Dedaw in the garden.

It seems that according to Auntie the biggest story of the Sabbath is that some overpaid foreign ballerina has managed to have a heart attack whilst chasing a bag full of air around a bit of grass; look, sorry for the poor bloke he is only in his twenties but such is life, there are far more important things to worry about such as the state of Blighty, the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition, where are all my missing socks and why is “Royal Mail” so useless as delivering things.

Son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I want to cut my own tax bill) Osborne allegedly wants to scrap the 50% tax on those poor souls who earn more than £150,000 per annus horriblis.
Supposedly it was going to produce revenue of £2.6 billion, which is likely to be reduced to several hundred million when the Treasury completes its sums.
So it seems that the Chancer wants to help those who have more than a lot but doesn’t want to reduce VAT, go juice or other fuel prices.

Typical Tory-can’t see the economy for the cost of living...

And finally in this truncated post:

A 1954 Aerocar is being sold by Rockford, Illinois-based Company Courtesy Aircraft as one of only five which are known to still exist today.
And you could own it for a measly £800,000.
Despite being 'out of warranty' the collector's item could prove to be a popular investment, although it is in need of some maintenance as its last inspection was over 14 years ago and it has not taken to the sky in quite a while.
The Wall Street Journal reported that the flying car is not missing any major parts and is still in a good enough condition to see it take flight again.
With enough room to take two people up into the clouds, the 150-horsepower vehicle has a cruising speed of 100mph and a 300-mile range.

Or you could buy a Honda and save £790,000 to spend on petrol...

And today’s thought:

There are some good points to budget cuts.


Thursday, 24 March 2011

Boring budget: Arepa, Arepa: Automatic kiss: Hanging out in China: My-what a big sausage: and Yeti-gain.

Loads of misty stuff at the Castle this morn, just been down to Tesco to stock up on stale bread and gruel, the forecourt was packed with motorists enjoying the 1p per litre cut-not, and because the weather was far too nice to sit indoors in front of the one eyed dominator yesterday, I took a day off and went to the seaside.
There may be a second post later today-then again………

Engineers have resumed work to restore the cooling system of reactor 3 at Japan's stricken Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, reports say.

Good luck with that, and if they knew that the reactors were in an earthquake zone, why didn’t they build them on the North coast?

The debacle continues, Infighting and confusion over the command of the Libya military mission threatened on Wednesday night to continue into next week as NATO remained deeply split and Barack Obama announced the US would pull back "this week".

No surprises there then.

Load of old bollocks presented by the wanker reptilian alien in disguise.

Employees of Venezuela's largest food company cooked the world's largest arepa Wednesday, producing a flattened corn flour patty weighing 1,087.31 pounds (493.2 kilos). It was 19.7 feet (6 meters) across.
Arepas, which vaguely resemble Mexican tamales, are a traditional favourite in this South American country and neighbouring Colombia. The patties are usually stuffed with fillings like shredded beef, cheese or black beans.

The previous record weight for an arepa was 440 pounds (200 kilos).


Helen Staudinger, 92, wanted a kiss, and authorities say she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
The central Florida woman fired a semi-automatic pistol four times at her 53-year-old neighbour’s house after he refused to kiss her, police said Tuesday.
“If my head would have been over just a little bit further, (a bullet) probably would have hit me in the back of the head,” the neighbour, Dwight Bettner, told Reuters.
Staudinger was in jail Tuesday, a day after being arrested on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and shooting into a dwelling.
According to a police report, Staudinger told deputies she went to Bettner’s house in Fort McCoy, Florida, and refused to leave until he gave her a kiss.
When he said no, they argued and she left angry, the report said
Bettner said he was on the phone with his father moments later when he heard gunshots. One bullet went through a window, spraying him with glass.
The former law enforcement officer said his elderly neighbour had seemed attracted to him since he moved in six months ago.
“I’ve taken her trash out for her, just neighbourly stuff,” Bettner said. “I guess she just took that as something else.”

Moral-never help out the loony old bat next door, especially if she has a gun…..

Hundreds of people attended a naked and fancy dress skiing party in the mountains of western China.
They wore a bizarre range of costumes - but only 22 were brave enough to turn out in the snow naked or partially dressed.
Two male skiers turned out for the 'Naked Pig' event, at the Tianchi International Ski Resort, in Urumqi, Xinjiang province, completely nude apart from their skis, boots and hats.
"We have this party at the end of the skiing season each year but this has been the best yet," said a spokesman for the resort.
The prize for best costume was won by Zhang Rongmin, who dressed as a half-naked Arab.
And the 'Coldest Beauty' award went to Xie Yong, who wore nothing but a snowflake to cover his modesty. Both won the equivalent of £100 and a trophy.

I get this image of a pickled Walnut……

Butchers in Italy have pinched the record for creating the world’s longest sausage from their Romanian counterparts, creating a banger more than half a kilometre long.
The 594-metre long sausage took ten cooks from Penne, a small town in the centre of the country, three hours to craft.
More than half a tonne of meat - weighing exactly 1,300 lbs - was used to stuff the skin for the longest-ever sausage, which was produced in the main street.
It was officially measured at 597.8m and was declared to have easily beaten the previous Romanian record-holder, whose sausage was only 392m in length, according to the Guinness Book of Records.

The giant sausage was cut up into 7,000 ordinary-sized bangers, stuffed in sandwiches and sold to the spectators to raise money for local charity Caritas.

What a whopper……

And finally:

A scientific institute to study yetis is to open in Siberia, under plans being considered by officials.
The Russian coal-mining region of Kemerovo in western Siberia will announce its final decision after hosting an international conference on yetis later this year, according to the regional government's education and science department.
"The town of Tashtagol will host an international conference with leading experts into hominids. Based on its results, we will take a decision on opening a scientific research institute to study the yeti."
Yetis, or Abominable Snowmen, are hairy apelike creatures of popular myth that are generally believed to inhabit the Himalayas.
But some believe Russia also holds a population of yetis, which it calls Snow Men, in remote areas of Siberia such as the mountains in the southern part of Kemerovo around Tashtagol.
Kemerovo officials cited yeti researcher Igor Burtsev as saying that around 30 Russian scientists are studying yetis and could work together at the planned institute.
The Kemerovo region has used its reputation for sightings of yetis to promote tourism. It holds an annual Yeti Day and this year it will run an ice sculpture competition called "In the World of the Yeti".


And today’s thought: a quote from Tara Palmer-Tomkinson-"I often pay homeless people to come round and clean my car."