Showing posts with label bunnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bunnies. Show all posts

Saturday 16 February 2013

I’m confused: Charlie the lawmaker: Free doughnuts: Tesco go hunting: Denver bunny vandals: and Got an hour to waste?


A modicum of lack of warm, minimal skywater, minus atmospheric movement and masses of cloudy stuff at the Castle this morn, the butler is out collecting fat, carbon neutral teenagers just in case, his Maj is out hunting worms and there will be no post tomorrow-doing several things.
 


Apparently Son of a B.....aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I can’t find my arse in this dark room because the torch is broken) Osborne is thinking about giving us 300-400 squids worth of RBS (which we already own) “shares”, or phased disposal or attempts to place the shares in the market – allowing the public to invest their own money in the company but at a discount to the share price at the time.
 
Now: I am confused because “we” gave RBS £45,500,000,000 (without our knowledge) so that the employees could continue to get their nice big salaries and bonuses and we could suffer cuts in welfare, ‘Orspitals, council services and benefits,

And now “they” want to give us a pittance back because “they” don’t have a hope of putting RBS back into the private sector and recouping our money,

According to “A senior government source” (probably the cleaner at No 10):

"There is a realisation that there is no prospect of RBS's share price rising to the level at which we bailed the bank out and it's not good for the bank or the Government to hold on to our stake indefinitely. Obviously a give-away to taxpayers before the election, who after all paid for it in the first place, is very attractive."

In 2008 the Government invested £45.5bn in RBS to prevent the bank from collapsing. RBS shares closed last night at 344p, well below the 500p average at which taxpayers bought their 82 per cent stake. Last night's closing price equates to a £14bn loss.

 Which is why I am so confused because “taxpayers” didn’t buy an 82 per cent stake in the Royal Bank of wankers the piss poor millionaires club coalition did on our behalf and now they want us to take a £14 billion loss because they can’t do their sums.
 

Anyone else confused about this, or is it because they want to orfload this millstone in case Norf of the border gets its independence?

 


Allegedly the Prince of Wales was secretly given a say over dozens of new laws, including those to ban hunting and to introduce the Government’s green deal, the Government has revealed.

A Freedom of Information request disclosed that the Prince has been consulted on an average of three laws every year over the past 11 years. In all he was consulted on 33 laws over past 11 years, far higher than previously disclosed.

Some of our laws that he was arsed about were:

The Energy Bill in September 2011, which passed into law the Government’s green deal which encourages homeowners to take out a loan to make their house more energy-efficient

The Hunting Bill in July 2003, the same month that MPs voted on a free ballot to ban hunting with dogs in the UK.

The Licensing Bill in June 2003, which was criticised for legalising 24 hour drinking after it came into force in November 2005.

The Health and Social Care Bill (July 2003)

Companies Bill (October 2006)

And the Land Registration Bill (February 2002).

 
It seems that being the heir to the Throne old nag loving Charlie is allowed under Britain’s constitution to be consulted on legislation that might affect his private interests.
 

Oh well as long as he can continue to keep his fifteen serfs, and thousands of acres of Blighty then that’s alright then.

 

 

The opening of the first Krispy Kreme store in Scotland caused traffic chaos as thousands turned up for the chance of free doughnuts.
Before the store in Edinburgh had even opened its doors at 7am, more than 300 determined people had already braved the elements and formed a queue outside in the driving snow.

Staff served doughnuts to 400 sweet-toothed customers in the first hour alone of the store being opened, but bosses didn't anticipate the feverish popularity of the launch at the Hermiston Gait shopping centre - with traffic queuing on approach roads, including the M8 motorway and A720, for hours on end.

 
Why am I not surprised....

 
 

My favourite retailer Tesco has been hit by another PR nightmare when a horse died after being hit by one of its delivery van drivers.
The crash happened as the supermarket remained at the centre of the horsemeat scandal after traces of horse were found in products labelled as beef.
The Tesco delivery driver hit the hunting horse while it was being exercised in the village of Little Kineton, in Warwickshire.
The exact circumstances are unclear, but the van somehow crashed into the back of the horse, breaking its leg.

The horse, named ‘Miller’, had to be put down following the accident

 
It was then put in the back of the van and taken to the nearest Tesco supermarket (only joking)-(I hope).

 


Bunnies have been wreaking havoc on cars parked at Denver International Airport - eating spark plug cables and other wiring.
The furry creatures have already caused thousands of dollars in damage as wildlife official’s work to solve the problem.
"I see at least dozens every morning," airport shuttle driver Michelle Anderson told KCNC-TV. "They go hide under the cars and the cars are warm."
A spokesperson from an automotive service centre said the rabbits are chewing on the insulator section of the vehicles' ignition cables, which can lead to hefty repair bills.
The station reported that wildlife workers are removing at least 100 bunnies a month while parking companies build better fences and perches for predator hawks and eagles.
Local mechanics have offered a more unorthodox solution for worried car owners.

They say coating the wires with fox urine - available at hunting shops - will deter the creatures.

 
But do not piss on the cables yourself-especially if the engine is running
 

And finally:
 

 

Then watch the video, I lasted about thirty seconds before I lost the will to live...
 


 
And today’s thought:
Oh I say-nice norks, good job there’s not a law against it

 

Angus

Saturday 4 July 2009

SATURDAY SNIPPETS

Still cool, still no rain, it didn’t come to anything yesterday, still having problems with IE8, thanks for all the advice DD but no change, I blame the government, it is a conspiracy by all the MPs that are leaving to firk up the blogosphere, because we enjoyed ourselves so much over the expenses thing.

I am not sitting in the garden by the pool this morning, mainly because I haven’t got one-a pool that is, added to the fact that my pussy doesn’t like water, but I am sitting on the settee by the window enjoying the breeze.

And of course Mr A Murray is out of Wimbledon, shame.

There is a really weird collection of “news” today and I didn’t make them up: honest.


First up:


Jobsworth

Are Binmen getting above themselves?

Rob Owens, 49, who is a lorry driver, placed his bin on a patch of grass at the end of a path leading to his home because he was going away for a few days and did not want to block the path.
However, the Binmen noticed it was three inches too far to the right and not squarely on the path, so refused to pick it up.

According to Worcester City Council, grey and green wheelie bins must be placed for collection at the end of paths leading to houses and not on grass verges.

Mr Owens, who lives in Worcester with his partner Anna Milner, 45, said: "I phoned the council and they told me it was because I'd left it in the wrong place.

"I just couldn't believe it. You would literally have to put your arm out a couple of inches to reach it.”

"They're even on wheels. It's absolutely outrageous."

The bin was left un-emptied a fortnight later because collectors spotted a crumpet among the recycling.

Rob said: "They left a note on the top which said 'Has not been emptied - textiles and crumpets'.
A spokeswoman for Worcester City Council said: "We unreservedly apologise to Mr Owens and Miss Milner for this inconvenience.

"Management will be taking steps to ensure this never happens again.

"It is certainly not council policy to refuse to collect a bin because it is not in the exact right position."

A number of non-recyclable items were found in the green bin last week.

"We have now gone back to empty all the refuse, and hope the matter is now resolved."


And one other thing, I put mine in the right place so why can’t the Binmen put it back instead of leaving it twenty yards away?




One celled organisms.

A woman dials 999 to say her hamster had escaped from its cage, police said, as they asked the public to only use the service for genuine emergencies.

South Yorkshire Police said eight out of 10 of the emergency calls made to its Sheffield control room did not require urgent attention.

In one example, they said a woman told the operator: "It's my hamster. It's got out of its cage. It's gone into the bathroom and down into the floorboards."

The call handler says "Your hamster?" and the woman continues: "Is there any chance anyone could come and help me get it out?"

In another call, a man is heard to ask for help because a swarm of wasps has landed in his garden
Superintendent Rob Odell said the force received around 15,000 non-emergency calls to the 999 service a month.

He said his operators have even taken calls from people who have run out of credit on their mobile phones.


Pillocks!





Bunny boiler.

An Oregon woman obsessed with rabbits has been returned to prison after police found her in a hotel room with more than a dozen bunnies.

Miriam Sakewitz, 47, violated her probation by having the rabbits, Judge Gayle Nachtigal, of the Washington County Circuit court ruled on Thursday. The judge sentenced Sakewitz to 90 days in the county jail.

Police arrested Sakewitz on June 16 after she called a maintenance worker to her room in the Portland suburb of Tigard to fix a broken television set. The worker saw and smelled the rabbits, some of them hopping freely around the house.

The woman's legal problems began in 2006, when police found more than 150 rabbits in her home and dozens more bunny bodies in freezers. She was arrested on accusations of animal neglect. After pleading no contest, she was placed on five years' probation, with the condition that she stays away from rabbits.


And also told to hop it (what?)





Can you ride tandem?

Two friends were refused service at a McDonald's drive-through for health and safety reasons – because they were on a tandem bicycle.

Tom Halsall and Mark Dixon, both 17, were warned the restaurant would be liable if they were hit by a car.

Staff refused to serve them when they joined the vehicle queue to save time.

The friends had cycled five miles from Chorley, Lancashire, and stopped at McDonald's on Churchill Way, Leyland, Lancashire, for a drink.

Tom said: "We just decided to try our luck at the drive-through because it was quite busy inside, but were told 'sorry, we can't serve you'.

"I wasn't best pleased and asked to see the manager. He came out and explained the reason – that if a car came round the corner and hit us they weren't insured.

"I tried to persuade him, but he didn't budge.

"I'm not pleased with the whole service and I don't think it's justified.

Restaurant manager Rachel Hilliker said: "I have said to all my staff that I'd rather we didn't serve pedestrians and cyclists at the drive-through window for their own protection.

"It's a general health and safety policy in case they are hit by cars.

Sorry but I am with Mc Ds on this one; otherwise it would be called a pedalthrough.





Fancy a cheap holiday.

No star hotel slashes prices to £5.99 a night the bargain price buys a room with no windows or television, no central heating, very little hot water, and a compulsory waking time of 7am.

Guests are likely to have to share their room with up to six lorry drivers, hard up travelling salesmen or passing immigrants, and must queue for the hotel's one shower in the morning.

Despite its minimalist charms, the frankly named Null Stern Hotel (No Star Hotel in German) is in the Swiss town of Sevelen, not far from the financial centre of Zurich.

Designed by conceptual artists, it was opened to the public earlier this summer as the ultimate in no frills luxury.

Patrick Riklin, who co-owns it with his brother, said he wanted guests to abide by the motto "less is more" as they paid between £5.99 and £17 for a room for the night.

Much of the hotel is built underground, meaning it can be cold even in the middle of a hot summer, so the hotel offers hot water bottles to keep guests warm.

However, while the establishment does not offer many amenities usually associated with hotels, it does offer one unique feature. The hotel is built in a disused nuclear bunker - a relic of the Cold War - so guests are guaranteed safety in the event of an atomic explosion.


Yeah; and there would have to be a nuclear war to get me in there.



And finally:






Fry you Jimmy.

A survey found that unhealthy sunbathing habits are to blame for Scots having the highest risk of contracting skin cancer in the UK.

One in five polled admitted to 'binge tanning', and a quarter said they used sun lotions with lower than recommended protection.

Four out of 10 Scots also admitted experimenting with their own sun lotions, such as cooking oils and moisturiser.

The Royal Pharmaceutical Society of Great Britain, which carried out the survey, urged sun bathers to invest in high-factor lotions.

Laura Wilson, a spokeswoman, said: "This is a serious issue. I am worried that people still think the warnings about the sun do not apply to them. In Scotland we have higher rates of melanoma than in Australia.

"Scots tend to think they do not need to use sun creams at home but people must respect the sun at all times and make sure they use a recommended sun protection cream."

The YouGov survey of more than 1,000 people in Scotland found that four out of 10 had experienced blistered or peeling skin after spending too long in the sun.


NO comment.


Angus

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