Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cats. Show all posts

Friday, 19 October 2012

One class Post: CHunt and Medics: U-Turn Cam’s gangs U-Turns: An Icedickle: Chicken shit court case: Elfandsafety cancels1066: and a Pillock of a Pussy.


Volumous amounts of atmospheric movement, vast stocks of skywater, vestiges of lack of cold and very little solar activity at the Castle this morn, orf out to find somewhere that actually has any shops left with free parking and covered walkways-I may be gorn some time....

 


First class stamps could be a thing of the past, “they” want to axe the two-tier system of first and second-class postage and put an end to next-day mail.

Instead a single stamp would cost 53p with letters taking two days to arrive.

At present a first-class stamp, which should mean post arrives the next day, costs 60p while second-class, which takes up to three days, is 50p.

Ofcom is thinking of making the change after surveying customers.

The poll revealed that six out of 10 users want Royal Mail to drop the two classes of stamp.

Allegedly given a choice, 58 per cent of firms questioned preferred a single two-day service.

Researchers found that the public relies less on post in favour of the internet, email, phone and text.

The number of postal items sent by customers each week has more than halved from an average of 3.5 items to 1.5 items over the past six years. And nearly a quarter of consumers expect to send even less mail in three years' time.

The proposal is subject to a public consultation, which closes on December 18. 

Wouldn’t make a difference, I don’t think I have ever got a letter the next day after posting even with a ‘first class stamp’.

 


During the last month of this year the UK's 220,000 doctors will have annual appraisals, with a decision taken every five years on whether they are fit to continue working.
But it will be April 2016 before the vast majority of the first round of checks has been done.
Elf secretary Jeremy CHunt said it was about addressing "deficiencies" in skills and reckons that if doctors failed to satisfy the standards of the General Medical Council (GMC) they would be prevented from practising.
But he said the new system was about identifying where there were "gaps" in knowledge or skills and giving doctors a "chance to put it right".
He said the vast majority of doctors "do a brilliant job" but when the government carried out a survey last year of 300 health bodies, there were "serious concerns" with 0.7% of doctors - a figure Mr Hunt described as "significant".
"At the end of the day if the GMC is not satisfied that someone is up to speed then, yes, they will be prevented from practising," he told BBC Breakfast.  

According to Niall Dickson the top knob at the General Medical Council "This is an historic moment. It is the biggest change in medical regulation for 150 years [since the creation of the GMC]."
He said the system should help improve quality, but he admitted the health industry had been "slow to recognise" the importance of such checks.
The introduction of regular checks - dubbed a medical MOT - has been talked about for more than 30 years.
Serious consideration started being given to the issue in the mid-1990s.
 

 So after thirty years “they” have finally got orf their arses and come up with a scheme which will do bugger all to stop patients being maimed and killed by Piss Poor Medics because:
 

Each NHS organisation from hospitals to local networks of GP practices will have a responsible officer, such as a medical director, in charge of revalidation.
They will assess the annual appraisals along with feedback from patients and colleagues to make a recommendation about revalidation to the GMC every five years.
Minor issues that do not constitute a risk to safety may lead to revalidation being deferred for a short period, but major problems will result in the doctor not having their licence to practise revalidated.
 

Waste of time and money...if your medic tries to kill you forget about the complaints procedure (it doesn’t work) just sue the bugger and refer him/her to the Piss Poor GMC.

 

 
But it seems that the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition do not have the same strength of will.
Here is the full list of government u-turns from the Torygraph:


 
I make that 36 times that the tossers have changed their minds since they were not elected into power.

 
Makes you proud-doesn’t it?
 

 

A "man" is standing in a garden in just his swimming trunks next to a frozen pool.
Clearly revelling in his moment in front of the camera, the confident showman gets down on one knee as he takes a second to admire his own muscle-bound physique.
After striking a rock star pose followed by a Usian Bolt lightning strike, the German-speaking man then launches himself at full speed towards the frozen pool.
Said Numpty fails to break the ice, landing on the slippery surface with a loud thud.

 
Bet that hurt, at least I hope it did...

 


A Zimbabwean man assaulted his wife and dragged her to a village court last week where she was found guilty of disobeying custom by failing to give him the juiciest pieces of chicken.
Nomusa Sibanda, 24, gave her husband the gizzard, wings and one drumstick and ate the chicken breast and second drumstick herself, according to local newspaper, The Sunday News.
Jabulani Ncube, 40 was incensed and beat up his wife who fled to her grandmother's house.
The next day, he forced her to attend the village court where he complained to the traditional leaders in the Nkayi Communal Land, 100 miles north east of Zimbabwe's second city Bulawayo, that his wife was "uncultured and disrespectful".
He warned that he would seek a divorce if she again failed to give him the drumsticks and breast which in traditional culture are due to the man of the house.
Mrs Sibanda was unrepentant and told the court: "How long shall I slaughter chickens and not taste the back portion?"
 

Till you manage to reach the twenty first century mate....

 

 

The Normans and Saxons didn’t manage to re-enact the battle of Hastings in Sussex on Sunday.
English Heritage said the recreation of the famous 1066 battle, held on what is believed to be the original battlefield, could not go ahead because- of  Elfandsafety: 'Although the forecast was for fair weather, unexpected torrential rain over several hours resulted in unacceptably high levels of mud both on the battlefield and on public areas,' a spokesman said.
'For safety reasons, the event cannot go ahead.’
 

Nothing worse than rusty armour....

 
And finally: 

 

A Pillock of a puss managed to get stuck up a tree, then on a roof and finally ending up in the ventilation system of a block of flats where she had to be freed by firemen.
Fleck, was first spotted by anxious residents hanging from the top of the tree, tenants at the block of flats raised the alarm and called their local fire brigade; however - by the time her rescuers arrived, the cat had managed to scramble onto a nearby rooftop.

When firemen tried to free the pet from the roof they discovered Fleck had vanished and assumed she had made her own way to safety.

But a short while later they were called back again when locals realised the cat had got into the ventilation system of the block of flats, in Essen, Germany.

Fire Brigade spokesman Mike Filzen said: "We could hear her calling and getting deeper and deeper into the building all the time.
"Eventually she seemed to get finally stuck in a bathroom in one of the flats so we resorted to a hammer and chisel to make a hole in the wall, and then used a linen basket to catch her and bring her to safety," he added, speaking to the Austrian Times.

Fleck was then reunited with her owner Katarina Schell, 36, who also agreed to pay a builder to fix the hole in the wall of the bathroom.

 
I do like a pussy with character...

 
 

And today’s thought:
It comes to us all-eventually
 

 

Angus

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Dopey’s rent block: Ryanair girls: Freya and Larry fight over Downing Street: Accident prone Dave: BUPA bondage: and Damien’s dead “art”.


Minor amounts of lack of cold, major amounts of atmospheric movement, middling amounts of skywater and bugger all solar activity at the Castle this morn.

The painty thing on vertical and horizontal surfaces is finally over, everything has been cleaned with my super-duper steam thingy (which is really good at getting paint out of carpets) and all the do-dahs have been put back in place, time to have a “Dave” chillax... 

And Blogger has decided it doesn't want to play nicely this Thurday morn.

 

 

The Bercow tweeter is apparently in a bit of a huff because he allegedly tried to block the publication of details of MPs' expenses payments which could show if they are renting taxpayer-funded homes to one another.
According to the most intellectually challenged Dwarf doing so would pose a security risk, and that publication of landlords' names "could involve causing unwarranted damage and distress" to MPs.
A spokesman for Ipsa said: "We are committed to transparency as is shown by our regular publication of all claims by all MPs. We have a duty to balance that against the risk of compromising security."
 

Bollocks...

 

 

Last year Ryanair found itself in hot water with the Advertising Standards Authority after their sexy staff stripped for a charity calendar, so they have done it again.

 
Featuring 12 of Ryanair's real cabin crew stripped down to swimmers or underwear, the girls of Ryanair cabin crew charity calendar 2013 aims to raise £100,000 for Polish charity TVN.
The 2012 calendar drew hundreds of complaints to the Advertising Standards Authority. Most complained about the sexually suggestive nature of the photographs after they were printed in an advertising campaign run in a British national newspaper.
However, the ASA didn't like this and released a statement saying: "We also considered that most readers would interpret these images, in conjunction with the text 'Red hot fares & crew!!!' and the names of the women, as linking female cabin crew with sexually suggestive behaviour."
Ryanair found a simple solution - they pulled the ads but still sold the calendar onboard their flights, which is what they looking to do again.
 

And the problem is?

 
 

Apparently someone in Downing Street has denied rumours of a feud between cats belonging to the chancellor and prime minister after they were pictured fighting.
George Osborne's Freya was photographed slugging David Cameron's Larry with a nasty-looking left claw, the evidence being posted on Twitter.
But the PM's spokeswoman insisted the two tabbies were able to "co-exist".
She added that she would not "get into commenting on the adventures of our feline friends".
 

A bit like the Piss Poor Policies Millionaires Club Coalition then....

 
 

Accident-prone Dave’s are more likely to trip and hurt themselves, pull muscles at work or cut themselves.
David is top of the nation’s bad luck league, as more men who share his name make personal injury claims than any other blokes. 

Allegedly the unluckiest male names are

1. David

2. James

3. Stephen

4. Andrew

5. Chris

6. Mohammed

7. Michael

8. John

9. Daniel

10. Alex

Unluckiest female names are

1. Joanne

2. Emma

3. Clare

4. Karen

5. Lisa

6. Laura

7. Helen

8. Rebecca

9. Hannah

10. Julie

Unluckiest years of birth are

1.1989

2. 1987

3. 1991

4. 1986

5. 1988

 
No surprise there then, so if your name is Dave and you were spawned in 1989, stay in bed...

  

 

Manager of a Bupa care home, Lesley Weir, exposed herself to two pensioners and boasted of enjoying 'unspeakable' sadomasochistic sex acts, a hearing has been told.
Lesley Weir, who also bent a colleague over a desk to spank him, faces being struck off.
She boasted of “unspeakable” bondage sessions and showed colleagues marks on her breasts, buttocks and upper thighs during staff briefings, the Nursing and Midwifery Council ruled.
Another former colleague at the Amerind Grove home, in Ashton, Bristol, told the hearing that Ms Weir had showed off bruises on her buttocks and breasts and talked of the “unspeakable things” she liked having done to her.
Ms Weir had lifted her skirt at two pensioners as they visited a friend at the home, the hearing was told. Terry Lewis, 76, said he had complained that underwear belonging to their 93-year-old friend, who suffered from dementia, had gone missing, to which Ms Weir replied that he should be “on knicker inspection”.
She then told the man he could inspect her underwear first “because I’m not wearing any”, before lifting her skirt.
The council must now decide whether her actions while manager between February 2008 and August 2010 amounted to misconduct and whether her fitness to practise is impaired.

 
You think?
 
And finally: 


Damien Hirst has come under fire after it emerged that more than 9,000 butterflies died as part of an art work in his latest exhibition.
Visitors to the exhibit at the Tate Modern in London observed the insects close-up as they flew, rested, and fed on bowls of fruit.
Figures obtained from the Tate reveal that more than 9,000 butterflies died during the 23 weeks that the exhibition was open.

Each week it was replenished with approximately 400 live butterflies to replace those that died – some of them trodden underfoot, others injured when they landed on visitors’ clothing and were brushed off.

The exhibit used butterflies of the Owl and Heliconius species, which come from tropical regions and live for up to nine months in the wild. Those used in the exhibition are believed to have survived for between a few hours and several days.

Visitors saw the butterfly pupae pinned to white canvases while adult specimens flew freely around the rooms, feeding on flowers and sugar water as well as fruit.

The Tate’s description of In and Out of Love said “the themes of life and death as well as beauty and horror are highlighted, dualities that are prevalent in much of the artist’s work”.

 
Cruel bollocks...

 

 
And today’s thought:
Where’s Dopey gorn?
 

 

Angus

Saturday, 29 September 2012

The Circle of donations: Corrupt coppers: Royal Mail fails for two decades: The Asgarda of Ukraine: Cheap as cheese: and a really, really grumpy pussy.


Oodles of lack of warm stuff, overwhelming amounts of solar stuff, only a whimsy of atmospheric movement and not one drop of wet stuff at the Castle this morn.
Orf out tomorrow so no post, going dahn to Beaulieu with some mates to have a drool at the motors and a nice pub lunch by the seaside.

 
 

The Tory Party has raked in more than £1million in donations from City executives set to make a fortune from its plans to privatise large swathes of the NHS.

We can today reveal fat cat shareholders in the company Circle Health – the first private firm to take over an NHS hospital – have given the Conservatives over £1.4million.
Our research also shows that overall David Cameron’s party has been given more than £10million from those with links to private health.
Labour yesterday said the donations, made since 2001, lifted the lid on the cosy relationship.
And it accused the Tories of “carving up” the NHS for their wealthy chums in big business.
The revelations come days after new Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt shortlisted Circle Health’s spin chief Christina Linnet to be his new media boss.
She previously worked for former Conservative Health Secretary Andrew Lansley before the Tories came to power.
Official records also show Tory MP Mark Simmonds is paid £50,000 a year by Circle for 10 hours’ work a month.
The links between private health companies and the Conservative Party became a matter of public debate after Circle was last year handed a 10-year contract worth £1.2billion to take over the failing Hinchingbrooke hospital in Cambridgeshire.
Its directors think the contract is the first of many – and have set out business plans to clinch NHS bids worth more than £8billion
 

Bye, bye NHS...

 


Allegedly nearly 50 Metropolitan Police officers have been suspended for corruption in three years, of the 258 officers suspended for offences also including sexual assault, neglect and assault, 38% of cases were proven and 11% of officers were sacked.
The officers were paid about £3.6m during their suspensions.
The figures, released under the Freedom of Information Act, show the number of officers suspended on full pay for three years between 2009-11.
Nearly half of those suspended were special constables, who are unpaid.
Although the specifics of each case have not been revealed, the Met said some instances of corruption included handling stolen goods and fraudulent overtime claims.
PC Simon Harwood was recently sacked for gross misconduct after he was found guilty of breeching standards in connection with Ian Tomlinson's death at the G20 protests.
He was initially suspended from duty in 2011.

Others suspended include: Gareth Beard who was found guilty of fraud; Philip Juhasz who was sacked for racially abusing the manager of a snack kiosk at King's Cross railway station; Det Con Daren Pooley who was jailed for defrauding the force after he overcharged for rented apartments, and David Price who was found guilty of growing cannabis.

The BBC has also obtained figures which show 372 police staff were suspended between 2009-2011.
 

Makes you proud, doesn’t it?

 

Postmen failed to collect letters from a post-box at one of the country’s busiest railway stations for 23 years.
Builders working on the renovation of Birmingham New Street Station found the dusty letters dating back to 1989 when they removed the box last week.
The box was sealed earlier this year after rail commuters complained that they caught their fingers in the narrow flap. An “out of action” sign was hung across it.
Workers say they cannot understand how the letters escaped the notice of postmen. The box was in full view of thousands of travellers for more than two decades.
One postal worker said: “We didn’t know it was there, to be honest.

 
The stamp of Royal Fail
 


In the Ukraine, a country where females are victims of sexual trafficking and gender oppression, a new tribe of empowered women is emerging. Calling themselves the “Asgarda”, the women seek complete autonomy from men.
Residing in the Carpathian Mountains, the tribe is comprised of 150 women of varying ages, primarily students, led by 30 year-old Katerina Tarnouska. Reviving the tribal traditions of the Scythian Amazons of ancient Greek mythology, the Asgarda train in martial arts, taught by former Soviet karate master, Volodymyr Stepanovytch, and learn life skills and sciences in order to become ideal women.
Little physical documentation existed on the tribe, until recently, when renowned French photographer, Guillaume Herbaut, met the Asgarda back in 2004 in the midst of the Orange Revolution.
 

But can they cook a roast dinner....

 
 
A Canadian police officer was among three people charged as the country's authorities announced they had busted a major cheese-smuggling ring.
A joint US-Canadian investigation found C$200,000 (£125,600) of cheese and other products were illicitly brought over the border into southern Ontario.
The smugglers sold large quantities of cheese, which is cheaper in the US, to restaurants, it is alleged.
The other two men charged were civilians, one a former police officer.
In their statement, Niagara police said an investigation had been ongoing since January 2012. Mr Heron was suspended from the police force in June.
"The network involved the purchasing of cases of cheese and other food items and transporting these cases into Canada, without declaring the items or paying duty," police said.
Once the cases arrived in the country, they were distributed to restaurants in southern Ontario.
The accused allegedly made a profit of over C$165,000.
 

Not surprised, seen the price of cheese? Especially dahn Tesco.

 
And finally:
 


 

 A cat named Tardar Sauce, or ‘Tard’ for short, has become internet-famous for its astoundingly grumpy face.
According to Knowyourmeme.com, Tardar Sauce, now known as Grumpy Cat, rose to internet fame after his photo was uploaded to social networking sites Facebook and Reddit.
Within the first 48 hours of its image being uploaded, the cat was up voted more than 25,300 times on Reddit, and the pictures were viewed more than a million times on Imgur.
Tardar Sauce's favourite foods are mice and tuna.

 
Bless...

 
 

And today’s thought:
 

 Oh yes it is...

 

Angus

Friday, 3 August 2012

Share of the losses: Who is back: Invisible bikes: The Cat Tunnel Couch: Ready for the flood: and a Rat burglar.


A bit of solar action, no atmospheric movement and lots of ex skywater at the Castle this morn, I have been “having a clearout” and have accumulated more than a vast amount of stuff for the “recycling” centre, snag is I am now too knackered to load up the Honda and get rid of it.



Three core Cable wants to take over the 82% Blighty owned millstone but it seems that ‘top’ shareholders in RBS have complained to the Treasury over "dangerous" and "damaging" suggestions that the taxpayer-backer lender could be fully nationalised.
We are absolutely furious,” said one top five shareholder. “This notion is ludicrous and has to be squashed immediately. Or how can we expect Hester [Stephen Hester, chief executive of RBS] and Bruce [Vans Saun, finance director] to stay. It has to stop or the bank will be damaged.”
Angry investors are understood to have contacted UKFI, the body that manages the Government’s stakes in banks, to voice their frustration with the “flip flop” in the ownership strategy for RBS.


Here’s an idea-as in the “real world” why don’t the petulant Pillocks repay the billions of taxpayer’s money they have salted away and then they can do what they want with their bank?






Doctor Who comes face to face with Daleks and dinosaurs in a trailer heralding the return of the BBC sci-fi show.
A scene from the first episode of series seven, Asylum of the Daleks, finds the Doctor standing before thousands of his old enemies. “You’ve got me. What are you waiting for? At long last, here I am,” he says.
The 90-second trailer will be broadcast tonight on BBC One.
It also features Arthur Darvill as Rory, Alex Kingston in a returning role as River Song and Rupert Graves as an Indiana Jones-style adventurer.
The trailer includes scenes from a western-themed episode, A Town Called Mercy.
Series seven begins later this month and will be followed by a Christmas special.
 

Oh goody.....


Chinese photographer Zhaohua Sen has found a new way to make his photographs a little more 'interesting' — invisible bikes.








Maybe he should just take snaps….




Comes the Cat Tunnel Couch designed by Korean designer Seungji Mun.

Spiffing, still it will give the kiddlies somewhere to hide when Dr Who is on.....




A Dutch millionaire has opened the doors of his full-size replica of Noah's Ark to the public.
Johan Huibers spent four years building the ark after dreaming his hometown would be destroyed by a flood of biblical proportions.
Using dimensions set out in the Book of Genesis, the 137m x 21m craft features its own 'Bible museum', complete with life-size plastic animals.
"We wanted to build something that can help explain the Bible in real terms," explained Mr Huibers.
"The wood is Swedish pine, because that's the closest we think to the 'resin wood' God ordered Noah to use in the Bible. The animals are plastic and come from the Philippines."
The project stems from a dream the 52-year-old had in 1992, in which his native Holland was flooded by the North Sea.
"The next day I bought a book about Noah's Ark," he said. "That night while sitting on the couch with my kids, I looked at it and said: "It's what we're going to do"."
Mr Huibers originally wanted to sail his ark, currently moored on the Merwede River, Dordrecht, to the London for the Olympic Games.
However he was forced to abandon that plan after Dutch authorities raised health and safety concerns about the proposed voyage.
 

Ah the old Elfandsafety no Arks ploy from McDonalds…..


And finally:



Melbourne resident Alan Ryan was taking photos in his garden of the lorikeets that come to feast from his bird feeder when a rat decided to do show his eligibility for Olympic-standard gymnastics.

Ryan said he started having problems with rats after the death of his cat, Ozzie, but he’s not the only one.

“The lorikeets don’t want the rats coming in; they’ll stand up to it.

”The rats are pretty vicious too so it’s a bit of a contest there.”
 

Time to get another pussy methinks....




And today’s thought:
Beach volleyball for dummies Olympics



Angus


Sunday, 29 July 2012

Groceries and GPs: No change: Aisle of Man: iPad Pussy: Eastern Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho: and a-Hoy Numpty.


Saw dawn’s crack between the white fluffy things at the Castle this morn, I have decided to put the new shorts back in the draw as the lack of warm in the atmospheric movement was beginning to give me frostbite on my old dangly bits...

The garden is in need of a minor fettle, the Honda is covered in yellow dusty stuff again and his Maj has decided that he doesn’t want to parachute into the grounds.

And I won’t mention the lack of metal gongs from the thing going on in the Smoke and elsewhere.

No post tomorrow-personal reasons: my lovely young lady is coming to trim my head hair, and the Nork who ballsed up the furnace is returning to put his errors right.



Sainsbury's has opened two more GP surgeries in its supermarkets this year and has urged more practices to come forward to run primary care services in its stores.
The two surgeries come after four opened in Sainsbury's stores across the country last year and are based in stores in Newton Abbot in Devon, which opened in January, and Sunderland, which opened in May.
One surgery, which will be operated by GPs at the Buckland Surgery, Newton Abbot, has a fully equipped consultation room and will offer GP consultations every Monday Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

 
Good idea?




Allegedly son of a B......aronet and alien reptile in disguise George (I can’t get past “A”) Osborne will keep both his jobs, aides to the prime monster told the Daily Mail that it was "completely absurd" to suggest that Osborne would be removed from his role in the Treasury in the autumn.
They also confirmed that Osborne will maintain his strategist role for the Conservatives, saying "it is a strength, at a time of economic crisis, to have a chancellor who regularly attends meetings at Downing Street".

That’s us stuffed then.....



Westside Market in New York launched the city’s first “man aisle,” a haven for alpha-males tasked with buying groceries.
The “aisle” — which is actually an end-cap to an aisle — has all the essentials including, but not limited to: deodorant, a cornucopia of Doritos, ramen, beef jerky, beer, condoms and bottled water.
Because guys apparently love crushing empty plastic containers in their meaty manfists after chowing down on pickles and Chips Ahoy cookies.
According to Ian Joskowitz, chief operating officer of Westside Market NYC- essentially, the area is “grocery shopping for dummies” for these men. Who, if they are buying for their families, are doing their wives and children a great health and culinary disservice.


Oh dear....





Developer Little Hiccup has created a series of iPad apps designed to keep pets across the globe entertained and stimulated.
Its first App Game For Cats features a fast-moving mouse pointer which is said to appeal to their hunting instincts as they try to catch it.
It has been so popular that its creator TJ Fuller has followed up the App with a sequel named Paint For Cats.
 Designed for the more artistic moggy, the App makes a colourful paw imprint when a cat touches the screen.
The App was recently tested at an animal shelter where it received a positive response, with bigger cats such as lions and tigers even taking to it.


Oh dear, oh dear....


From land that has never been troubled by radiation comes a new world record for the largest ukulele ensemble.
More than 2,000 strummers gathered in Yokohama, Japan's second-largest city, to trump the previous record set in Sweden.
The group were watched by Guinness World Records officials, AFP news agency said, and played a song called Aloha Mahalo A Hui Ho, written by a Hawaii-born former sumo wrestler.
They set the record during Japan's "Ukulele Picnic Week".
The diminutive guitar-shaped instrument originated from Hawaii, where it is also synonymous with hula dancing.
The previous record was set in August last year by 1,547 uke-wielding Swedes in Helsingborg.

More than one string to their bow then....

And finally: 


On July 9th 1993 Garry Hoy a lawyer for the law firm of Holden Day Wilson in Toronto attempted to prove to a group of his partners at the firm that the glass in the Toronto-Dominion Centre was unbreakable, so he threw himself at a glass wall on the 24th storey and fell to his death after the window frame gave way.
He had apparently performed this stunt many times in the past, having previously bounced harmlessly off the glass.


Should have worn a parachute...



And today’s thought:
What makes you think I have been taking steroids Olympics?



Angus

Friday, 22 June 2012

Apprentice lawyers: Social tariffs: Human right to beg: Pussy pulse prosthetic: Suck my shoes: Crisp and expensive: and BIG Wombats.


Still chucking it dahn at the Castle this morn, loads of atmospheric movement and the liquid metal in the gauge is curled up in the bulb shivering.



And has funded 4,230 placements in the second round of the £25m higher apprenticeships initiative.
According to the “Business Secretary” they would help sectors tackle skills shortages and boost participation by under-represented groups like women.
Employers such as British Airways, Siemens, Price Waterhouse Cooper, Unilever and the UK Space Agency are involved in the scheme.
Participants are able to pursue degree-level study while getting paid.
Allegedly it is estimated that between now and 2030 European airlines will need to recruit 92,500 new pilots, 96,300 engineers and him/her upstairs knows how many Lawyers and accountants.


So why aren’t British Airways, Siemens, Price Waterhouse Cooper, Unilever and the UK Space Agency paying the bleedin bill instead of us?




Is issuing “guidance” to Water companies in England and Wales to allow them to charge lower prices for the poorest customers.
It seems that Ministers want to see "social tariffs" based on ability to pay, as part of a broader drive to reduce utility bills.
An estimated 2.4 million households have trouble paying their water bills, which cost an average of £376 a year.
Water companies will be asked to select the customers who are most at risk and offer them a discount.
They are currently bound by regulator Ofwat's licensing conditions which means they cannot cut bills without contravening the law.
Deputy Prime Monster what’s his name said: "If you're struggling to make ends meet, not paying for essential utilities isn't an option but it can mean making tough choices elsewhere; like sacrificing healthy meals for the family or new school books.
"We've already announced tough new measures to see gas and electric bills fall by up to £100 a year. This will see struggling families save more.


And the but is- BBC environment analyst Roger Harrabin said it was not yet clear whether companies would be compelled to reduce tariffs but it might suit some firms to do so.

He said reducing the charges for the poorest would take some of the political heat over raising bills for others to pay for the infrastructure that is needed to ensure areas avoid repeatedly lurching into emergency measures to combat drought.


So we have foreign owners of our water who purchased the companies for sod all, get their product for free, use delivery systems that already existed and pay their bosses millions in salaries and bonuses “thinking” about reducing prices for the poorest...Hmmm, still we are all in this together...




Allegedly Blighty may give millions more pounds to the controversial European Court of Human Rights, despite the Government’s promise to rein it in.
The Strasbourg court is asking countries to give it extra money in an attempt to deal with a backlog of 150,000 cases.
We already pay £20million a year to the Council of Europe, which is responsible for the court, but the PPPMCC is considering increasing this sum,
The request for more money has come just two months after ministers claimed to have secured lasting reform of the court at a summit in Brighton.
An estimated 800million people across the continent have the right to bring cases to the ECHR if they feel their basic rights have been breached by their governments.
As a result, there is now a backlog of more than 150,000 cases still waiting to be looked at, many involving Eastern European countries that have failed to tackle earlier breaches.

The Foreign Office declined to comment on whether or not Britain would contribute to the new fund.

A spokesman said: "We support the setting up of this fund, but have not made any decision on whether we will contribute to it. At present the UK is one of the five major contributors to the Council of Europe, contributing 12 per cent of its annual budget, which includes the Court."



If they do cough up I think I will apply to the ECHR for a ruling....




In the land where radiation has had no effect whatsoever, Nico Nico Douga has invented a pussy tail that wags when it detects excitement in its user. Made from a robotic arm covered in fur that is connected to a pulse sensor using an AVR microcontroller, which is attached to a clothespin that will be clipped on the owner’s earlobe, the users pulse rate is translated into tail wags. As the owner’s BPM rate goes higher, the tail moves more rapidly.
 

Spiffing….






Paionia Furyokuki’s doormat is like a vacuum cleaner for your shoes. As your body weight depresses the knobs on the surface, suction from the air pump pulls away dirt on the bottom of your shoes. They’re on sale in Japan for $6,250.

I think I prefer my old coconut mat...




Rugby reporter Bill Lothian wanted a packet of crisps to munch with his pint and was charged £1.35 for the privilege at the Golf Tavern in Bruntsfield, Edinburgh.
But apparently that isn’t expensive, at some city bars it will cost you £1.50, although elsewhere in the Capital, standard bags of crisps including Walkers and Golden Wonder could be purchased for just 60p. Charlie Russell, owner of Bennets Bar in Tollcross, where bags of Walkers are available for 70p, said: “We sell our crisps for the same price you could buy them down the shop – we’re not looking to make a profit on them.


 You pays your money and nips in Tesco on the way home...
 

And finally: 


In the outback in Queensland scientists have discovered what could be up to 50 Diprotodon skeletons dating back 100,000 and 200,000 years.
Lead scientist on the dig, Scott Hocknall from the Queensland Museum in Brisbane, said one of the specimens, called Kenny, was one of the largest Diprotodon he had ever seen.
Kenny's jawbone alone is 70cm (28 inches) long.
Pigeon-toed and with a backward-facing pouch large enough to carry an adult human, Mr Hocknull likened a Diprotodon to "a cross between a wombat and a bear but the size of a rhinoceros".
The mega-wombats could weigh up to 2.3 tonnes
The discovery could hold important clues on how the mega-wombats lived and what caused them to die out.


They probably went extinct because they kept falling through the ceilings of pre historic bungalow dwellers...






And today’s thought:
Does my bum look big in this Olympics




Angus