Showing posts with label dwarf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dwarf. Show all posts

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Adolescent electorate: Go juice tax on tax: Ugly marriage: Nun got a lot: Baby polisher: Face Yoga, and a Pregnant Dwarf Galaxy giving birth.

Post one grand plus one. 

The first layer of white crusty stuff, an absence of atmospheric movement, a vast amount of solar stuff and not an atom of skywater at the Castle this morn.

Had an “interesting” day on Monday, my lovely young lady arrived to trim what is left of my hair, the interweb thingy went totally tits up, and after a couple of hours I gave up completely, so I decided to “sort out” the study and as I was dismantling shelves and stuff the phone rang and it was a mate who was in more than a state of panic, his laptop had frozen and all he had was a “page” telling him that the Police had taken over his computer because of “illegal use”, but if he paid them £100 it would all go away and he could compute away to his heart’s content.

Luckily he didn’t oblige and brought the laptop to me, it was of course a scam, so I did the old ctrl-alt-del thing and ended up with just his desktop background, the next step was to shut dahn the offending pieces of electronics and press f7/f8 during boot; boot up in “safe mode” and do a restore to a couple of days before-sorted.

 So beware; if it happens to you, follow the advice above, and do not click on anything if you are attacked by these thieving, fuckwit tosspots they are only after your money.


Lord Tyler who used to be the Liberal Democrats’ former shadow Leader of the Commons has come up with a cunning plan to totally balls up the electoral system.
He wants to extend the right to vote to 16 and 17 year olds in all elections and referenda in the United Kingdom.
The Voting Age (Comprehensive Reduction) Bill which is being published would make this change with a simple amendment to electoral law.
Lord Tyler’s Bill was backed Lord Adonis, by former Labour Transport Secretary, Lord Lucas, former Conservative Government Whip, and Independent Crossbench Peer and Baroness Young of Hornsey.
Lord Adonis said: “Young people should be able to vote at 16, so that political debate and democracy fully include them, and so that they start to consider and discuss while still at school how to use their vote.”

A Cabinet Office spokesman said: “The Government has no plans to change the current voting age.”

Nice to see that Cupid Stunts are still rife in Gov.....


According to the shit for brains MPs on a typical litre of petrol costing 138.3p, 81p goes to the Treasury in fuel duty and VAT.
Under current Treasury plans, duty on petrol and diesel will rise by 3p a litre on Jan1 next year.
Motoring groups and campaigners, including Conservative MPs, are urging the Chancellor to scrap the planned rise, which they say will squeeze household budgets further and dampen Britain’s economic recovery.
The Commons library, which is politically neutral, tracks data on fuel and produces regular reports for MPs on prices and tax levels.
Its latest report shows that, after gradually falling over the summer, pump prices are close to levels seen in April, when a typical litre of petrol cost 141.7p.

The library’s researchers report that this year’s higher prices have mainly been caused by rising global oil prices, forced up by political tensions in the Middle East, especially over Iran’s nuclear programme.
However, tax has contributed to longer-term rises: “The price increases since late 2010 have been as a consequence of rising oil prices, the weaker pound and increases in duty and VAT,” the report said.

The library reported that overall, British fuel duty was the second highest in the European Union.
According to data from the European Commission, British diesel is the most expensive in the EU, “despite relatively low pre-tax prices”, the report said.

Petrol prices are the fourth highest in the EU, after Greece, the Netherlands and Italy.
A spokesman said: “The Government recognises that the rising price of petrol is a significant part of households’ day-to-day spending.
“Since coming to office the Government has listened to the concerns of motorists about high pump prices and acted. Fuel is now 10p a litre lower than under the previous government’s plans.”



When husband Jian Feng saw his newborn baby for the first time he was horrified.
The girl was so ugly he refused to believe he and his stunning wife could have produced such a child.
And he rounded on his partner, accusing her of having an affair.
But she told him the terrible truth, her good looks were due to £62,000 of plastic surgery and the baby was indeed theirs.
Furious Feng took her to court claiming she had tricked him into marriage – and won his lawsuit.
Feng said: “I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues.
“Our daughter was incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrified me.” He told lawyers his wife had fooled him by having plastic surgery to make her beautiful and it was only the birth of their daughter that gave her away.
Incredibly, the court agreed and awarded Feng £75,000 after his wife admitted she had not told him about the surgery.
A judge in the northern Chinese court said she had tricked Feng into marrying her – and also granted a divorce. He ruled that since Feng had not been aware of the surgery, his wife had used “false premises”.

Your genes will find you out...

A nun with a gambling addiction was accused of stealing $128,000 from two rural parishes where she worked.
Sister Mary Anne Rapp was treated for a gambling addiction and is in recovery, her order said Monday, but she still faces a criminal charge of grand larceny following the thefts from the St. Mary and St. Mark congregations. She was expected to plead not guilty at an initial appearance in Kendall Town Court on Monday evening.
In 2010, two linked parishes were assigned a new pastor who sought a routine audit, said Kevin Keenan, spokesman for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Buffalo. The audit turned "some irregularities" that were turned over to a county prosecutor, he said.
Rapp is accused of taking the money between 2006 and 2010, Keenan said.
She was placed on leave from her position as pastoral associate in February 2011 and fired in April 2011, he said. St. Mary's in Holley and St. Mark's in nearby Kendall serve a combined total of about 600 families.
Officials believe Rapp spent the money at casinos. She is a member of the Sisters of St. Francis, based in Lewiston, north of Buffalo. Sister Edith Wyss, provincial minister of the 138-member order, said that when Rapp was placed on leave, she agreed to seek treatment for a gambling addiction.
"She spent 9 1/2 months in an in-patient treatment program and has maintained her recovery in the year since," Wyss said.
Wyss said the order does not condone the conduct but continues to pray for Sister Mary Anne as she deals with her addiction.

That'll help the poor and starving who are poorer and even hungrier whilst “sister” Rapp lived it up...


A US company is combining baby grows with mops so that babies can polish the floor as they learn to crawl.
Website is hoping to clean up with its £25 invention which it calls the Baby Mop.
Inspired by a spoof Japanese advert for a similar invention, it promises to "teach your baby a strong work ethic early on in their life".
And it adds that the baby "will get a nice workout, burn off energy, and do muscle toning. And sleep better too."
Mike Parker from said: "We have sold about 100 in just one month since adding it to our site.
"So far all the feedback from customers has been very positive; however we get some negative emails surrounding the idea of the actual product.
"The idea formed to make the actual product from a Japanese commercial on the web.
"I believe the idea was submitted as part of a contest on ridiculous inventions in Japan but was never actually sold anywhere.
"But this is the real deal; it's a legit product and is proving very, very popular."

Stick a broom handle up its arse and you could do cobwebs on the ceiling as well....


Have a bash at Face Yoga, developed by Annelise Hagen, who calls is the ultimate face-lift.

The New York yoga instructor says her technique is meant to be a natural alternative to Botox and cosmetic procedures, which cost Americans billions of dollars every year. She started working on her unique set of facial exercises after she learned that her students, most of them well-educated professionals, were practicing yoga, but also getting Botox shots during their lunch breaks to hide their wrinkles.

Hagen just didn’t feel that was in the spirit of yoga, so she decided to create a proper alternative. Based on the premise that, like any other muscles in the human body, facial muscles need exercise to stay toned, face yoga offers a range of exercises to help people looking younger for longer.

Just make sure there are no horses around...

 And finally:

The Hubble Bubble telescope thingy has snapped the faint irregular galaxy NGC 3738, which is located about 12 million light-years from Earth in the constellation Ursa Major, which turns out to be a Dwarf galaxy giving birth to oodles of new stars.
NGC 3738 is a type of galaxy known as a blue compact dwarf, researchers said. Unlike elliptical galaxies or spirals, blue compact dwarfs tend to be chaotic in appearance, lacking distinctive features such as central bulges or spiral arms. They're thought to resemble some of the universe's earliest galaxies and could provide clues about how stars looked shortly after the Big Bang, researchers said.
Lubbly Jubbly, hope there aren’t any rugby players about....


And today’s thought:
Who gives a shit...?



Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Aid the world: Freedom!-sort of: Hide and seek in Hubei: Cheeky Tat: Dwarf Star-Bucks: and Illegal Bologna.

Darkish, coldish and dryish at the Castle this morn, I have cleared the kitchen of mistreated computers and am going to take a few days off.

The garden still needs fettling and the water carrier has resigned.

Apparently it is now called “International Development” and costs us £8 billion a year which will rise to £11 billion fairly soon. 

So how big is the deficit now?

1 Put a plaster on a child’s cut
2 Develop a community organisation or social enterprise using easily available guidance without needing a health and safety adviser
3 Operate a safe working environment without requiring annual PAT tests
4 Put up hanging baskets
5 Hold a pancake race
6 Develop exciting and challenging playgrounds
7 Use bunting or flags at events
8 Support a voluntary organisation that works with children and vulnerable adults without a CRB check unless you have “frequent and intensive” contact with them
9 Clear snow from the footpath
10 Offer to become a trustee of a local charity
11 Hold local fundraising events for good causes
12 Support your community and gain skills if you are on benefits
13 Help with teaching reading at school
14 Help at school sports day
15 Play conkers without wearing goggles
16 Wear goggles in swimming lessons
17 Take photographs of your children at a school play
18 Use your business skills to support a local organisation
19 Organise a village fete
20 Offer meeting space in your offices to a local community group

 How exciting…..

This little lad had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck in an 15inch gap between two walls.

He was trapped for three hours after a game of hide and seek with friends went wrong in central China's Hubei Province.

Ah the joys of childhood.

A patient is refusing to leave hospital in China after claiming medical staff tattooed his backside during surgery.
Sheng Xianhui, 34, of Kunming, southwest China's Yunnan Province, claims two Chinese characters were tattooed on his right buttock.
He claims the tattoo - which translates as 'Stone Disease' - was given to him by staff at Yunnan Stone Disease Hospital after he had gall stones removed.
The hospital has now called police to try to evict Sheng - but he has welcomed the police involvement and asked them to investigate.
"I'm not leaving," he said. "I'm worried that if I go out for even half an hour, the hospital will claim I had the tattoo done outside.
The hospital denies the mark is a tattoo and says it could have been caused by an allergy to the hospital's bed sheets.

What a bummer…..

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is suing Starbucks for firing a dwarf who asked for a stool to perform her job as a barista at an El Paso shop.
An EEOC statement said the lawsuit was filed Monday in federal court in El Paso. It alleges that Starbucks fired Elsa Sallard after three days of training because it deemed she'd pose a danger to customers and coworkers. The EEOC contends Starbucks' actions violated the Americans With Disabilities Act.
The agency also seeks lost wages and compensatory damages for Sallard and a court order that Starbucks adopt policies to correct and prevent disability discrimination.
Starbucks said in a statement that their policies provide for equal employment opportunities and strictly prohibit discrimination on the basis of disability.

Think their HR dept needs a sort out.

 And finally: 

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers at Santa Teresa seized 385 pounds of Mexican contraband bologna from behind the seat of a pickup that stopped at the port on Friday.

It's illegal to bring the bologna across the border because it's made of pork and has the potential to introduce foreign animal diseases into the U.S. pork industry.

The 33-year-old Mexican man who was transporting the meat was assessed a $1,000 fine and released.

Usually officers see one or two rolls of bologna -- not 35 as in this case. Officials say it was the largest bologna bust ever recorded at the Santa Teresa crossing.

Piggin bologna.

That’s it: I’m orf to visit Gliese 581d to see if the neighbours are in.

And today’s thought: Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery - Spike Milligan.