Showing posts with label elf and safety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elf and safety. Show all posts

Friday, 10 June 2011

Ooh Aar Tourist tax: Toothy, toothy Crems: But is it art?: Hamster abuse: Shrek gets stuffed: and Upwell Elfandsafety.

Bit iffy at the castle this morn, cloudy, more than a bit cold but calm, his Majesty has now discovered the joy of diving under the duvet and attacking my feet at three in the am, the kitchen is full of ailing thingymajigs and it seems we are heading for a drought.
No politics today, same old, same old, but I see that the Church is not happy with the Millionaires Club Coalition, the Piss Poor Policy of welfare to work begins today, and: Prince Phil has decided that now he is Ninety he will “slow down” and have a bit of a rest.
Considering he has done fuck all “proper” work for the last seventy years his life won’t change that much.

It seems that the knobs want to rip off tourists even more. Under plans disclosed on Thursday tourists could be charged £1 for every night they stay throughout the county.
Town Hall bosses are investigating the tax proposals that they say will help pay for up-keeping infrastructure as the number of visitors dramatically increases in the summer months.
The council estimates such a “tourist tax” will raise an extra £25 million in revenue.
According to latest council figures, Cornwall's population swells from about 500,000 to more than five million during summer months. This, the council argued, places enormous pressure on the county and local services.

That should make Devon a lot more tempting...

The cost of cremations is going up – because of toxic mercury fillings in the teeth of the dead.
By 2013 all UK crematoria must have filters to stop the metal leaking into the atmosphere when bodies are burnt.
Already Barnsley Council has increased fees by £18 to cover the added cost.

Do you get a discount if you have dentures?

When park workers removed a graffiti-covered discarded mattress, they had no idea they were dismantling a piece of modern art worth £1,000. The apparent rubbish was a work by Johnny Doe as part of the Art Free For All exhibition in Alexandra Park, north London. One of the organisers realised the workers' mistake in time and stopped them before they reached the tip.
The exhibition features works by 35 artists dotted around the park. Telegraph photographer Eddie Mulholland wandered around Alexandra Park taking pictures of objects that caught his eye.

Load of old bollocks (and rubbish).

The European Union's highest court officially reprimanded France for not doing enough to care for hamsters.
The Court determined the country had shown a lack of due care towards its dwindling population of the rodents

Things may be looking up for Frogs....

Museums are vying to display the remains of New Zealand's most famous sheep, Shrek, and a church memorial in his honour has been postponed to accommodate global media interest, reports said Friday.
The merino became a celebrity in 2004, when he was found in a mountain cave six years after wandering off from his flock. He was sporting a massive fleece that made him appear three times his normal size.
The fleece was sheared for charity and weighed in at 27 kilograms (60 pounds), around six times the wool normally gathered from the average merino.
News of Shrek's death this week made the front pages of New Zealand newspapers and led television bulletins in a nation where sheep outnumber the human population of 4.3 million by almost 10 to one.
Mindful of the sheep's immense popularity, museums are reportedly keen to put Shrek's body on public display, a move that would confirm his status as a New Zealand icon alongside 1930s racehorse Phar Lap.
The country's national museum, Te Papa in Wellington, told the New Zealand Press Association (NZPA) it was in negotiations to exhibit the famous ovine.

Mutton dressed as a cardigan?

And finally:

Upwell Primary school plans to ban mums and dads from the annual sports day because of some parents’ concerns about their children mixing with “strangers”.
Now the Norfolk school could hold it behind closed doors for the first time in its 130-year history
Many parents are furious at the proposed ban which comes after members of the public attended a kids’ art event at Upwell – some parents kept their kids at home over concerns for pupils’ safety in mixing with visitors.
One angry mum said if the sports day ban went ahead many would keep their kids off school in protest. She fumed: “This is going to upset parents even more.”
Head teacher James McBurney said it had been a tough decision. He said: “It is with the greatest and sincerest regret that, in light of recent events, Sports Day is likely to take place without parents being invited.
“But we are prepared to postpone Sports Day until June 29 and decide nearer the time.”

Paranoid or what?

And today’s thought: Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.


Sunday, 13 December 2009

The Sunday Section

Salesman wanted; Sick and nicked; Crispy cracker; BBC bother; and the Elf and safety of carol singing.

Still not sleeping, about six days. Or rather nights now, I manage to grab an hour here and there. I don’t know why, must be all the excitement.

Looks like we are in for a “cold snap”, yet another time when the country will grind to a halt because of a half an inch of snow, which reminds me I must wax the sledge runners.

The Gov in all its wisdom has decided to Catch them Young, specially trained officers in one area have already begun visiting nurseries in order to identify youngsters who could be vulnerable to radicalisation.

In the West Midlands on officer with the counter terrorism unit wrote to community groups warning: "I do hope that you will tell me about persons of whatever age, you think may have been radicalised or be vulnerable to radicalisation ... Evidence suggests that radicalisation can take place from the age of four."

Arun Kundnani, of the Institute of Race Relations, who contacted the officer, said he explained how members of his unit had visited a number of nursery schools.

Mr Kundani told the Times: "He said the indicators were they [children] might draw pictures of bombs and say things like 'all Christians are bad' or that they believed in an Islamic state. It seems nursery teachers in the West Midlands are being asked to look out for radicalisation."



It also seems that Ed Balls (love that name) has caught ‘Browns disease’ and has decided that Laws requiring 11 million adults who work with children and vulnerable people to undergo criminal records checks are to be watered down following a massive public outcry.

Children's Secretary Ed Balls confirmed he had accepted all the recommendations of an independent review into the way the Vetting and Barring Scheme (VBS) was operating.

Crucially, adults will only have to be vetted if they come into contact with the same group of children once a week or more, rather than once a month as under the present arrangements.

It’s a start I suppose.

First up:

Inuit communities need funds to adapt to climate change in the Arctic, including measures to build communal deep freezers to store game because warming is reducing their hunting season, an Inuit leader said on Friday.

The Inuit, the indigenous people of Greenland, Canada, Alaska and Russia, have traditionally hunted for Arctic species from seal to polar bear, whale to caribou.

"In Canada we see climate changes on a day to day basis," said Violet Ford, a Canadian official of the Inuit Circumpolar Council (ICC).

Ford, who was born and raised in the Inuit community of Makkovik, Labrador, said more funds are needed for adaptation and response to climate change in the Arctic and in developing countries.

Have a word in Gord’s ear he seems might be able to give some of the £1.5 billion he has found for climate change.

From Aceh to Bali, Indonesians have donated a truckload of coins in support of a woman jailed for criticising health care provision in an email to friends.

In a nationwide cause, the money has been gathered to help Prita Mulyasari, 32, pay a fine of 204 million rupiah ($21,400) after she was convicted of defamation by a local court on the outskirts of Jakarta.

Indonesians were so touched that volunteers began collecting money on the streets, in offices and in kindergartens and publishing details on the social networking site Facebook.

"This is the first time Indonesians acted to help someone by giving their coins," volunteer Esti Gunawan said.

"We feel sorry for her. As a mother, I feel that I would also need tremendous help if I were in her position."

The ongoing saga of Mulyasari began last year when the bank employee and mother-of-two sent an informal email to 20 friends and colleagues informing them of her poor treatment at Omni International Hospital outside Jakarta.

Mulyasari, who had been misdiagnosed with dengue fever at the hospital, found after being moved to another institution that she in fact had mumps.

Her email was transferred without her knowledge from one mailing list to another in cyberspace before being tracked by the Omni hospital, which filed a complaint.

Mulyasari, who was still breastfeeding her second child, was sent to jail in May and charged by prosecutors with defamation, which can carry a jail term of up to six years.

She was freed after 21 days, having promised not to abscond or destroy evidence, amid a huge outcry from the media, bloggers, and politicians including President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono.

You have a lot to answer for George Orwell.

Joel Bradley was caught allegedly selling a packet of Discos at a marked-up price of 50 pence.

The student at the Cardinal Heenan High School was given a day's suspension because it was the second time he had been caught.

His father, Joe, told the Liverpool Echo the youngster was being ''victimised'' for the enterprise, which could earn him as much as £15 a day.

Mr Bradley, from Norris Green, admitted he too had once been caught selling canned drinks, chocolate bars and crisps from a van outside the school.

He said: ''I think the school has made a beeline for him because of what I've done.''

Cardinal Heenan's head teacher Dave Forshaw said: ''We are a healthy school and proud of it.

''If parents are not happy then they are perfectly free to take their children to a school that allows pupils to sell these things and allows a father to sell them outside on the pavement.''

The head teacher said pupils were caught around ''three or four times a week'' selling snacks at the school.

''We have six to seven regular sellers we pinpoint'', he said.

What next, mind control?

BBC personalities have criticised the production of a 'Top Talent' league table revealing what the Corporation really thinks about its best-known presenters.

Dozens of big names have been ranked in four 'divisions' according to how much audience appeal they are deemed to possess.

Many BBC presenters have expressed their surprise at the rankings, which see Alan Yentob, the BBC's creative director, heading the "Top Tier – Highly Valued" category, alongside Stephen Fry, Nigella Lawson, Jeremy Paxman and Jeremy Clarkson.

Lesser known presenters, such as Kate Humble, the wildlife presenter, Jimmy Doherty, the TV farmer, and Charlie Brooker, the host of BBC4's Screenwipe, also appear in the top division.

Meanwhile, household names including Delia Smith, Professor Robert Winston and Michael Palin are consigned to the bottom category, entitled "Occasional sparkle but limited appeal".

Other hugely popular personalities including Paul Merton, Ian Hislop, Alan Titchmarsh, Ben Fogle, Monty Don and Melvyn Bragg are deemed to have only "average appeal".

The rankings were compiled by senior managers at BBC Knowledge, the corporation's factual arm, and set out in an internal document entitled "Knowledge Commissioning Graded Talent List".

Ben Fogle, a former Countryfile presenter, expressed his surprise at the league table, saying: "I've got quite a thick skin from over ten years working in television so I'm not totally offended by being called average.

"I'm more surprised at some of the other people's ranking in the charts. I was very surprised to see Michael Palin down at the bottom.

A BBC spokeswoman said: "These artists are highly valued presenters and viewers will recognise that they appear regularly across our channels. Our current schedules and our forthcoming seasons make it abundantly clear how important these presenters are to the BBC."


A safety leaflet has been produced to help singers avoid the pitfalls of performing Silent Night or Once in Royal David's City in a suburban street or local shopping centre.

the Ecclesiastical Insurance Carol Singing Guide warns: "Never sing in the road."
Naked flames can also be dangerous, it reminds festive souls, telling them: "Don't carry candles if they're not protected by a lantern."

And for those thinking of sending their young sons and daughters out at night to do some carol singing for them (and after all, who could resist the rattle of the collecting tin from the little angels?) Ecclesiastical has these stern words: "Ensure children are always accompanied by an adult."

These are some of the words of advice from its well intentioned guide, which runs to four pages.

Writing in its introduction - titled "How to ensure you're safe and welcome this Christmas" - Michael Tripp, the company's chief executive, explains: "This guide gives you some handy hints and tips which will help you hit the streets in full voice with confidence."

Other "essential safety advice" includes the top tips "always go with a group and stick together" and "don't carry large amounts of cash - if your donations are stacking up make provision to drop it off, or have someone collect it from you".

John Coates from Ecclesiastical, who helped put the leaflet together, admitted it was "basic".

However, he explained: "There are so many people who have got out of going carol singing that we felt we should start from the ground up.

"And with health and safety around the corner, we thought there was nothing we could leave out."

Ecclesiastical, which is the largest insurer of Anglican churches in the country, has also gone to the trouble of producing a downloadable window poster for those who want to welcome carol singers.

Earlier this year it carried out a survey that found nearly half of respondents did not like carol singers.

Almost a third (29 per cent) said they didn't want singers at the front door (29 per cent) and almost a fifth (19 per cent) said they simply would not open the door to them.

And 100 percent said that they didn’t need Elf and safety advice on carol singing.




Angus Dei politico

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Come fly with me; Talking sense; Standing room only; Grand and a half move; and the Tuesday Numpty

Weather as per, and I have to go for my flu jab this morn, although I still don’t know why I have become a “priority” perhaps all will become clear, but then again.

Unlike the Gov’s ‘Carbon’ policy Heathrow can expand and people can fly more without ruining the country's carbon targets, says the UK government's official climate watchdog.

It says this means other sectors of the economy must reduce emissions by 90% to allow aviation some room to grow.

But the watchdog insists that the future increase in flying must be limited to 60%, not 200% as projected by the government.

This is the really Numpty statement “Today's report on UK aviation says improved aircraft design will allow some carbon-free expansion of aviation. High-speed rail would also allow people greater mobility as they get richer.”

And talking of clarity; this aint: Business Secretary Lord Mandelson has earned a black mark from language campaigners after talking himself into a corner in discussing MPs' expenses.

The Plain English Campaign (PEC) singled out the Labour peer's analysis of the way the Government was being criticised in its annual "gobbledegook" awards.

Officials awarded him their 2009 "Foot in Mouth" prize for his comment: "Perhaps we need not more people looking round more corners but the same people looking round more corners more thoroughly to avoid the small things detracting from the big things the Prime Minister is getting right."

Clear as Mandy.

From very down under: An Australian funeral home has decided to save space by burying people vertically.

The scheme, about to be launched in Melbourne, Australia, is being offered as a simple, natural and economical approach to burial.

The Melbourne company, Upright Burials, will place a corpse in a biodegradable bag and then lower the body feet first into a cylindrical hole about 30 inches in diameter and nine-and-a-half feet deep.

Upright Burials claims the scheme is a world first and that the method will produce far less carbon dioxide than a regular burial.

Tony Dupleix, managing director, said: "When people have a traditional burial there is the process of manufacturing a coffin, which is often made out of wood or a man-made fibre, and there is regularly a plastic tray inside the coffin too.

The company hopes to bury between 30,000 and 40,000 people in a field two hours west of Melbourne.

When the land is full, it will be transferred back to pasture.

Rather than a headstone above each body, the company will simply inscribe the names of those buried on a memorial wall.

Relatives will, however, be given the exact location of their loved one.

The upright burials are set to cost $2750 (£1,500) - a relative bargain, as the average Australian funeral costs more than $7000.

Love the “relative bargain” bit.

A council paid £1,500 to hire a removals van to move staff just yards across the street.

Because of health and safety fears, Lancashire Council workers were told not to try to carry boxes over the road.

Instead a van was parked outside the Guild House offices in Preston facing towards the Winckley House property into which some of the building's 200 staff were relocating. It was filled up and driven down the road to turn around before reversing over to the other side of the road.

Files, computers and office furniture were among the equipment needing to be moved.

The council and the company said the seconds-long journey was necessary to ensure the health and safety of the firm's staff.

Kevin Thompson, owner Liverpool-based The Removal Team, which carried out the work, said: "It is health and safety - we just can't carry boxes across the road.

"If you can imagine it being carried across the road and a car comes and one goes one way and one the other you will end up with a desk in the middle of the road.

"I'm sure it looked humorous and I believe it was 10 yards from one building to the other.

"It is our company's health and safety guidelines. We can't just carry boxes across the road."

And finally:

A lorry driver was pulled up by police in China - after driving for hundreds of miles with a sheet of cardboard covering his broken windscreen.

Mr Li drove by sticking his head out of the side window - in freezing conditions - or by peering through tiny holes in the cardboard, reports China News Network.

Traffic officers ordered him to pull over after spotting him on the Jinggang'ao Highway in Henan province.

"The weather was extremely cold, but we saw a lorry with a cardboard windscreen - and the driver had his head out of the side window all the time," said a police spokesman.

Mr Li jumped down from the cab with a face that was purple from the cold. He told officers he had been in an accident in Hubei province several days earlier but did not have time to repair it properly because of his tight delivery schedule.

He admitted to police that he had driven with the temporary cardboard windscreen for an incredible 400 miles.

"When there were a lot of vehicles I would drive with my head out of the window," he told police.

"I would drive like that until my neck got too sore and numb, when I would drive by looking through the little holes in the cardboard."

Police escorted the truck to a nearby service station, and ordered Li to repair his vehicle properly before going back on the road.

Numpty of the day.




Angus Dei politico