Showing posts with label heinz beanz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heinz beanz. Show all posts

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Builders demolished by blonde, Daily Numpty, Mugger Bugger Brolly, Not tonight Dear and SourKrauts

OK that’s the “birthday” thing out of the way (see earlier post), but before the off, I was contacted by a “friend” of “Dr” Jane Barton, the GP in the Gosport War Memorial Hospital Massacre (link above).

As you might know the decision by the GMC regarding her “punishment” has been delayed until 2010, the interesting thing is that apparently her brother is Professor Chris Bulstrode, the ex GMC big knob. Is the “old boys/girls club having a meeting?

And another contact sent me this:

The latest phone scam.

A new telephone 'scam' has arrived in Medway.I received a call from a 'representative' of BT, informing me that he was dis-connecting me because of an unpaid bill. He demanded immediate payment of £31.00, or it would be £ 118.00 to re-connect at a later date.
The guy wasn't even fazed when I told him I was with Virgin Media, allegedly VM pay BT for line rental!I asked the guy's name - the very 'English' John Peacock with a very 'African' accent - & phone number - 0800 0800 152.
Obviously the fella realised I wasn't believing his story, so offered to demonstrate that he was from BT. I asked how & he told me to hang up & try phoning someone & he would dis-connect my phone to prevent this. AND HE DID !! My phone was dead - no engaged tone, nothing - until he phoned me again.

Very pleased with himself, he asked if that was enough proof that he was with BT. I asked how the payment was to be made & he said credit card, there & then. I said that I didn't know how he'd done it, but I had absolutely no intention of paying him , I didn't believe his name or that he worked for BT.

He hung up.

I dialled 1471 & phoned his fictitious 0800 number - not recognised. I phoned the police to let them know , I wasn't the first! It's only just started apparently but it is escalating.Their advice was to let as many people know by word of mouth of this scam.

The fact that the phone does go off would probably convince some people it's real, so please let as many friends & family aware of this.The caller cannot cut you off. What he does is to press the mute button on his phone which makes you think you have been cut off.
What he is doing is holding the line open and he can still hear you. All you have to do is hang up and do not try the phone again for at least 5 minutes and then the telephone exchange automatically disconnects the caller from you and you can then use your phone again.
If you do not do this and keep picking up the phone the caller will be able to hear what you are saying SO JUST END THE CALL AND DO NOT USE THE PHONE FOR 5 MINUTES.

That’s the public service announcements out of the way.
First up:

Burly builders fled when a naked blonde rushed at them on a construction site in the Austrian capital Vienna shouting: "Who wants me?"

The hard-hat hunks ran for cover when the woman turned the tables on them on the building site beside the city's main railway station.

"We like to chat up girls as they walk past - it's a tradition," said one builder.

"But this woman was too much to handle and we just ran and hid until the police got here. No-one liked to think what would happen if she caught one of us," he added.

Police spokesman Mario Hejl said: "It turned out no-one wanted her. The woman was detained and was put under a doctor's care."

It never happens to me, mind you I'm not a builder.
A man who followed bad directions from his satellite navigation device and got his car stuck on a 100-foot-high cliff was fined $1,470 by a British court.

The Calderdale Magistrates Court in Halifax, England, was told Robert Jones, 43, was driving in the nearby town of Todmorden March 22 when his Tom-tom navigation system instructed him to drive down a dirt path leading to the cliff, The Sun reported Wednesday.

Jones continued driving until his BMW became stuck on a fence at the brink of the cliff. He paid $1,650 to have his car recovered from the location.

The court found Jones guilty of driving without due care and attention.

Jones said the incident has not soured him on the Tom-tom device.

"I still use mine. It's the only time it's ever let me down," he said.

I think I posted about this a while ago, but it’s nice to see the end result.

An unbreakable umbrella which protects against rain and muggers has been unveiled.

Designers of the £125 Unbreakable Umbrella claim their invention made of hi-tech steel can support the weight of a man and can be wielded like a baseball bat.

Makers Real Self-Defense says their brolly is as strong as a steel pipe despite weighing only 775g and is already proving a hit across the UK and Europe.

They claim it is perfect for use as a self-defence weapon, particularly when combined with knowledge of martial arts training such as Kendo, a Japanese style of fencing.

In the company's promotional video a besuited middle-aged man can be seen splitting watermelons and attacking a punch bag with his unbreakable brolley.

It is then raised and folds out to form a regular looking black umbrella.

A spokesman for Real Self-Defence, based in Vermont, USA, said the umbrella was a vital tool for staying protected on the streets.

He said: ''Our Unbreakable Umbrella has no unusual parts, no more metal than an average umbrella, it does not arouse suspicion, can be carried legally everywhere where any weapons are prohibited.

The Unbreakable Umbrella is available to buy in the UK from Tactical Things in Colchester, Essex, with a straight or curved handle.

Great idea, but what if the muggers buy them?

It’s official, 'I'm too tired' has become the most used excuse to avoid sex, according to a survey.
''I've got a headache'' has now fallen to number three in the list behind ''I'm not in the mood''.

Other white lies to make the top five included ''I've got to get up early in the morning'' and ''I'm pre-occupied with work''.

The trend emerged in a study of 4,000 adults which also revealed one in five Brits regularly make excuses to avoid having sex.

Seven out of 10 said they were often too exhausted to enjoy sex and four out of 10 said the recession had played havoc with their sex life.

A spokesman for, which carried out the study, said: ''The humble headache has had its day as far as excuses are concerned.

''Tiredness plays a much bigger part in our reasons not to climb between the sheets these days and enjoy some quality time together.

''And its hardly surprising when we are all working longer hours than ever before and have so many things to worry about.

The report also found men are more likely to make excuses than women with 27 per cent admitting they often avoided sex compared to 18 per cent of women.

But while one in two blokes said they made excuses because they were genuinely too tired to make love three quarters of women said they put their partner off because they couldn't be bothered.

Worryingly, one in three men said they made excuses because they didn't fancy their wife or lover anymore, compared to around one in five women who said they same thing.

Four out of 10 women admitted pretending they were asleep compared to five out of 10 men.


1. Too tired
2. I'm not in the mood
3. I've got a headache
4. I've got to get up in the morning
5. I'm pre-occupied with work
6. I'm angry with you
7. I can hear one of the children
8. You need a shower
9. I've got a bad back
10. Too soon in our relationship

It would be nice to be given the chance.

And finally:

It seems that the Germans are up in arms because tins of Heinz contained fewer beans than cans sold in Britain.

European fans of the product, which for decades has been sold with the slogan "Beanz Meanz Heinz", were outraged after the British variety was declared superior to its European counterpart.

Tins in Germany and Austria were also found to have a more watery and less tasty sauce than the British equivalent.

An Austrian newspaper conducted a comparative study of the British beans with those sold locally after receiving complaints from its readers following the launch earlier this year of Heinz Gebackene Bohnen, a version of the British original destined for the German speaking world.

"The readers were correct," said David Rogers, editor of the Austrian Times. "We did a poll which found that many people felt the German Heinz baked beans were substandard and when we tested them we had to agree."

Susana Vega, a British student in Vienna who took part in the study, said: "If you shake the tins the contents of the German tin sloshes around which it doesn't with the British tin.

"The sauce when you pour it out is a lot more watery and it's a much paler, watery looking colour than the thick tomato colour of the British beans."

Labelling on the British Heinz tin states it is more than half full with beans – while the German version contains less than half.

British beans also have five per cent more tomato in their sauce than the German product, which contains more water, sugar and salt instead.

Heinz Joseph from Germany said he was disappointed with the new product. "I was a student in London and bought them because they had the same name as me and I really grew to love them."

"I was delighted when they went on sale in Germany but then I realised they just don't taste the same. I think it's very unfair to German bean lovers."

Don’t give a stuff, at last revenge for all those bloody towels on sun loungers.

I’m off to enjoy myself.
Any problems reading the blog? let me know.