Cold, damp and dismal at the Castle this morn, his Majesty has discovered the pleasure of climbing up my legs while I am standing in the kitchen, the garden still needs fettling, the study is empty of all things broken and I am knackered.
And I have received the quote for the Honda insurance-it has gone up fifty quid although it is a lower insurance group than the Rover-robbing bastards....
I see that Columbo has shuffled orf this mortal coil at the age of 83, another part of my youth gorn....
And the Tesco
Wankers Bank which has suffered technical problems with online accounts says it will refund anyone who has incurred costs as a result.
The bank, which said its website was now "fully operational", will deal with claims on a case-by-case basis.
It said that it would refund customers who could prove they had lost out financially as a result of the fault.
Problems originally surfaced after the bank transferred savings and loans products in-house at the weekend.
Customers' frustrations were increased when many found they could not get through on the telephone to the busy customer service call centre.
Sounds about right...
Apparently a heatwave will hit south and east England this weekend, with soaring temperatures putting elderly and vulnerable people at risk, forecasters have warned.
The Met Office has issued a heat-health alert for the East Midlands, east of England and the South East, where temperatures of 86F (30C) are likely on Sunday and Monday and could peak at 90F (32C) on Monday.
The high temperatures could be dangerous, particularly for the very old, the very young and those with chronic conditions, forecasters said.
Yeah right-see the first paragraph.
Days before a college football player was arrested on a US Airways flight at San Francisco airport following a dispute over his saggy pants, the airline allowed another man wearing skimpy women's panties and mid-thigh stockings to fly, according to a passenger and airline spokeswoman.
Jill Tarlow, a passenger on a June 9 flight from Fort Lauderdale, Fla., to Phoenix, took a photo of the scantily clad man, which she provided to the San Francisco Chronicle. The newspaper published the photo in its Wednesday edition.
The man flew six days before University of New Mexico football player DeShon Marman was arrested on a US Airways flight at San Francisco airport following allegations he refused to pull up his pants.US Airways spokeswoman Valerie Wunder defended the airline's decision to let the man fly, saying employees acted correctly.
"We don't have a dress code policy," Wunder said. "Obviously, if their private parts are exposed, that's not appropriate...So if they're not exposing their private parts, they're allowed to fly."
Four goblets believed to have been owned by Adolf Hitler and used at his Berlin bunker have sold at auction for £3,000.
The engraved receptacles, edged in gold and etched with the Nazi eagle, a swastika and the initials AH, were expected to sell for around £8,000.
But the Specialist International Militaria sale in Towcester, Northants, saw them snapped up for just £3,000 by a buyer in Sweden.
Auctioneer Jonathan Humbert, of JPHumbert Auctioneers, said the price was still reasonable for an item with no written proof of its background.
They have got to be fake; Hitler only had one goblet, didn’t he?
A Tennessee man's body is being exhumed to remove dentures that belong to another man after a mix-up at a Chattanooga hospital.
Parkridge Medical Centre spokeswoman Alison Counts told The Chattanooga Times Free Press that the body of 76-year-old Kenneth Ray Manis will be exhumed after his family learned the dentures belonged to an intensive care patient who shared the same hospital room.
Court records obtained by the newspaper showed Manis died on June 12. The dentures were with personal items placed inside his coffin. Counts said Manis' family asked that the dentures be removed.
The hospital has apologized and will be paying for new dentures, as well as reburial costs and attorney's fees. The hospital declined to identify the patient who lost his dentures.
A father of seven girls has not washed in 37 years because a priest told him it would guarantee a son.
Farmer Kailash Singh, 65, whose dreadlocks are six feet long, has not touched water, save to rinse his mouth and hands, since 1974.
Instead, he takes a “fire bath” every night – smoking marijuana, praying to the Hindu god Lord Shiva and dancing around a bonfire.
The farmer, from Chatav, India, where temperatures regularly reach 47C, said: “Children tease me and my wife doesn’t like it, but she must bear all the hardships I have to bear.
“I have no son, so I will never wash again.”
Not really working is it......
That’s it: I’m orf to buy some super sand for the moat.
And today’s thought: If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.