Boring budget: Arepa, Arepa: Automatic kiss: Hanging out in China: My-what a big sausage: and Yeti-gain.

Loads of misty stuff at the Castle this morn, just been down to Tesco to stock up on stale bread and gruel, the forecourt was packed with motorists enjoying the 1p per litre cut-not, and because the weather was far too nice to sit indoors in front of the one eyed dominator yesterday, I took a day off and went to the seaside.

There may be a second post later today-then again………

Over in the land of the mushroom shaped rising sun

Engineers have resumed work to restore the cooling system of reactor 3 at Japan's stricken Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, reports say.

Good luck with that, and if they knew that the reactors were in an earthquake zone, why didn’t they build them on the North coast?

And in Gadaffi land

The debacle continues, Infighting and confusion over the command of the Libya military mission threatened on Wednesday night to continue into next week as NATO remained deeply split and Barack Obama announced the US would pull back "this week".

No surprises there then.

As to the Budget

Load of old bollocks presented by the wanker reptilian alien in disguise.

Across the big wet thing to the left and down a lot

Employees of Venezuela's largest food company cooked the world's largest arepa Wednesday, producing a flattened corn flour patty weighing 1,087.31 pounds (493.2 kilos). It was 19.7 feet (6 meters) across.

Arepas, which vaguely resemble Mexican tamales, are a traditional favourite in this South American country and neighbouring Colombia. The patties are usually stuffed with fillings like shredded beef, cheese or black beans.

The previous record weight for an arepa was 440 pounds (200 kilos).

Why?

Up a bit to the state of the retired

Helen Staudinger, 92, wanted a kiss, and authorities say she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

The central Florida woman fired a semi-automatic pistol four times at her 53-year-old neighbour’s house after he refused to kiss her, police said Tuesday.

“If my head would have been over just a little bit further, (a bullet) probably would have hit me in the back of the head,” the neighbour, Dwight Bettner, told Reuters.

Staudinger was in jail Tuesday, a day after being arrested on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and shooting into a dwelling.

According to a police report, Staudinger told deputies she went to Bettner’s house in Fort McCoy, Florida, and refused to leave until he gave her a kiss.

When he said no, they argued and she left angry, the report said

Bettner said he was on the phone with his father moments later when he heard gunshots. One bullet went through a window, spraying him with glass.

The former law enforcement officer said his elderly neighbour had seemed attracted to him since he moved in six months ago.

“I’ve taken her trash out for her, just neighbourly stuff,” Bettner said. “I guess she just took that as something else.”

Moral-never help out the loony old bat next door, especially if she has a gun…..

East many, many thingies

Hundreds of people attended a naked and fancy dress skiing party in the mountains of western China.

They wore a bizarre range of costumes - but only 22 were brave enough to turn out in the snow naked or partially dressed.

Two male skiers turned out for the 'Naked Pig' event, at the Tianchi International Ski Resort, in Urumqi, Xinjiang province, completely nude apart from their skis, boots and hats.

"We have this party at the end of the skiing season each year but this has been the best yet," said a spokesman for the resort.

The prize for best costume was won by Zhang Rongmin, who dressed as a half-naked Arab.

And the 'Coldest Beauty' award went to Xie Yong, who wore nothing but a snowflake to cover his modesty. Both won the equivalent of £100 and a trophy.

I get this image of a pickled Walnut……

Left to the land of pasta and Bunga-Bunga

Butchers in Italy have pinched the record for creating the world’s longest sausage from their Romanian counterparts, creating a banger more than half a kilometre long.

The 594-metre long sausage took ten cooks from Penne, a small town in the centre of the country, three hours to craft.

More than half a tonne of meat - weighing exactly 1,300 lbs - was used to stuff the skin for the longest-ever sausage, which was produced in the main street.

It was officially measured at 597.8m and was declared to have easily beaten the previous Romanian record-holder, whose sausage was only 392m in length, according to the Guinness Book of Records.

The giant sausage was cut up into 7,000 ordinary-sized bangers, stuffed in sandwiches and sold to the spectators to raise money for local charity Caritas.

What a whopper……

And finally:

Up a fair bit and right a smidge

A scientific institute to study yetis is to open in Siberia, under plans being considered by officials.

The Russian coal-mining region of Kemerovo in western Siberia will announce its final decision after hosting an international conference on yetis later this year, according to the regional government's education and science department.

"The town of Tashtagol will host an international conference with leading experts into hominids. Based on its results, we will take a decision on opening a scientific research institute to study the yeti."

Yetis, or Abominable Snowmen, are hairy apelike creatures of popular myth that are generally believed to inhabit the Himalayas.

But some believe Russia also holds a population of yetis, which it calls Snow Men, in remote areas of Siberia such as the mountains in the southern part of Kemerovo around Tashtagol.

Kemerovo officials cited yeti researcher Igor Burtsev as saying that around 30 Russian scientists are studying yetis and could work together at the planned institute.

The Kemerovo region has used its reputation for sightings of yetis to promote tourism. It holds an annual Yeti Day and this year it will run an ice sculpture competition called "In the World of the Yeti".

Err……right.

That’s it: I’m orf to welsh Wales to catch a glimpse of a Beaver.

And today’s thought: a quote from Tara Palmer-Tomkinson-"I often pay homeless people to come round and clean my car."  

Angus

Power to the rising sun: Kill Muammar: Up your phone bill: Raking it in: Nicked from the plod: Dirty pipe plummet: Wishing away $30k: and a Pennsylvania Numpty.

Sort of non-weather at the Castle this morn, light-ish, warm-ish, calm-ish and dull-ish, still at least it isn’t raining-yet.

Late again this day, no excuses, just overslept.

Over in the land of the mushroom shaped rising sun

Engineers have managed to rig power cables to all six reactors at the Fukushima complex, and restarted a water pump that will help reverse the overheating that triggered the world's worst nuclear crisis in 25 years.
A spokesman for Tepco, the plant operator, said workers had to be briefly evacuated after light grey plume of smoke was spotted emanating from reactor three but added radiation levels had remained stable.

Oh well; that’s OK then….

And across to Gaddafi land

Cabinet ministers have contradicted senior military commanders by suggesting that coalition forces in action over Libya can legitimately target Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.

The Chief of the Defence Staff, Gen Sir David Richards, flatly insisted that seeking to hit the Libyan dictator was not allowed under the terms of United Nations Security Council resolution 1973.

But after Defence Secretary Liam Fox suggested over the weekend that Col Gaddafi could be a "legitimate target", No 10 sources insisted it was legal to target anyone killing Libyan civilians.

Does that include UN planes and submarines?

The company that has many, many Wi-Fi doodads scattered about our radio-wave infested land

BT has said it will raise call charges by 9% and increase its monthly standard line rental charge by 30 pence from 28 April.

The cost of UK landline calls will go up from 7p a minute to 7.6p a minute.

Customers are being informed of the changes by letter, although some with specific packages will not be subject to the price increases.

BT increased its call charges by 10% and its line rental by 50p in October last year.

That’ll help the inflation figures.

Still in out of work Blighty

Welfare-to-work providers will be rewarded for helping long-term unemployed back into work and Lord Freud said they would be able to earn “very good fees” from the benefits overhaul.

He said: “Depending on the scale of the challenge the jobseeker faces, we will pay anything between £4,000 and £14,000 to the employment specialists – if they can get people into sustainable employment.”

There are 2.2million people on incapacity benefit, of whom 1.6million will be assessed to see if they are fit for work. Trials have suggested that one in three will be judged to fit to go back to work.

The highest premium - £14,000 - would only be paid to a firm who has moved a long term claimant into work, as long as they have stayed there for at least two years.

Lord Freud, a former City banker, was unapologetic about the prospect of large companies making millions of pounds from plans to replace a number of different benefits with the single Universal Credit.

He said: “Payment by results means that we can reward providers who invest successfully to get people into jobs – especially the hardest to help.

Yeah right…..so what is the Jobcentre minus for then?

Still in our crime ridden green and damp land

 

Thieves have swiped £360,000 worth of goods – from Police.

Weapons, drugs, crumpets and a ride-on lawnmower were all stolen between 2008 and 2010, a report revealed yesterday.

Greater Manchester Police fared worst, losing £100,000 worth of goods – enough to pay for three extra officers.

West Midlands (£92,000) and Northumbria Police (£35,500) performed poorly, while City of London officers did better on £293. Eight forces did not take part.

The Taxpayers’ Alliance said: “Being outsmarted by criminals is bad enough, but this also drains resources.”

Makes you feel safe and warm, wanna buy a ride on lawnmower?

Over the Atlantis Ocean 

Officials in Washington State say a 37-year-old worker came loose from a safety line and slid about 3,000 feet through a large sewer pipe at a wastewater treatment plant.

Authorities say the man was working on the sewer system at the plant and was about 150 feet below ground. He slid through a pipe that's about six feet in diameter.

Fire fighters and co-workers pulled the man, a contractor for Pierce County Public Works and Utilities, to safety on Monday. He appeared to have minor injuries and was taken to an area hospital for further evaluation.

And, a hose down, tetanus jabs, put into isolation and told to stop laughing.

Dahn Unda

Thieves have stolen up to $30,000 from a theme park wishing well near the Victorian city of Geelong.

Police say the thieves broke into Fairy Park, at Anakie, on Sunday night, and stole the coins that had been in the wishing well for up to eight years.

Detective Senior Constable John McKinnon says shops and banks should be on the look out for anyone trying to cash in large amounts of rusty coins.

He says the thieves brought in a pump to drain water from the well.

"The offenders have forced their way through the fence and drained the water, which is about two metres deep," he said.

Detective Senior Constable McKinnon says the owners believe the well may have contained up to $30,000 worth of coins.

Well…someone’s wish came true.

And finally:

Daniel Rahynes was caught after he showed ID to open an account then robbed the bank in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Darwin is spinning in his grave.

That’s it: I’m orf to upgrade my quantum computer

And today’s thought: A conclusion is the place where you find yourself . . . when tired of thinking.

Angus