Clear, cold and curmudgeonly at the Castle this morn, yestermorn something wondrous happened; the 48 day old mist lifted and the big bright yellow thing appeared in the endless blue thing, so Angus of the Dei and his Maj tentatively stepped into the garden and thirty seconds later five thousand midges descended for a feast-shortest bit of sunbathing ever....
The study is a vacuum for any sort of disassembled machines; the butler is frantically stuffing fat teenagers into the furnace and my ballcock needs replacing-again.
The deputy Prime Monster reckons that the £1 billion plan to tackle high youth unemployment will apparently be paid for by taxes on "people with the broadest shoulders".
Speaking on BBC Radio 4's Today programme, Mr Clegg would not specify where the money would come from to pay for the plan, which will cost £1 billion over three years.
But he said: "We will do everything we can to make sure the poorest are protected. We will not balance the books of this country on the backs of the poorest".
Liar, liar wallets on fire....
Apparently GCHQ is to explore commercial applications for their top secret expertise in a move designed to help the country fight off cyber attacks.The move is part of the government’s new “cyber security strategy” which is seeking to make better use of the expertise at the Cheltenham listening centre.
The strategy says that GCHQ is “home to world-class expertise in cyber security” and it wants that to be used to support the private sector “without compromising the agency's core security and intelligence mission.”
The agency has agreed for the first time to “work with private sector partners to explore the potential commercial applications for GCHQ's unique expertise.”
It will also explore “strategic vehicles” for bringing together industry, academia and government to exploit the latest innovations in cyber security.
A major new development could see GCHQ developing a venture capital “model” to help fund innovation in cyber security in small and medium-sized enterprises, based on a model developed by the CIA.
Oh well if America does it then we have no problems-look at how well the toxic mortgage thing went...
According to the job posting of a Chinese employer long-haired freaky people need not apply for jobs, and Scorpios or Virgos aren't wanted either.
The unusual job ad was posted at a university in Wuhan for an unidentified English-language training firm.
"We don't want Scorpios or Virgos, and Capricorns," the job posting says, according to the newspaper.
A woman at the company said she's found Scorpios and Virgos to be feisty and critical.
Virgo’s feisty and critical-never-I’m a Virgo....
A former police officer accused of theft in the US stunned a court when he blamed a ghost in his basement.
Joseph Hughes, from Mount Gilead, Ohio, faced 21 charges against him, including stealing 12 air conditioning units, a 6,000 watt generator and a welder.
All are believed to have been taken from the Morrow County sheriff's office - one air conditioner was even labelled 'auditor' in thick black marker.
But after the stolen articles were found in Hughes's basement, he gave a paranormal defence for why he didn't know they were there.
"It's going to sound kind of ridiculous, but we believed that there was some kind of paranormal presence in the basement," Hughes said in court.
Ghosts that install air conditioners and weld things-no wonder the job market is so bad....
Designed by Hamburg-based designer duo Heike Mutter and Ulrich Genth, the walkable roller-coaster titled Tiger & Turtle - Magic Mountain is 45 meters high and consists of 249 steps. Visitors can climb on the curved sculpture and walk around, and take in the surrounding views from the spiral walkways in their own pace.
The structure is located on top of a mining waste tip at the Heinrich-Hildebrand-Height in the Angerpark, overlooking the Rhine in Duisburg, Germany.
About 120 tons of galvanised steel were used to make the sculpture which is supported by 17 posts. At night LED lights illuminate the handrails.
Sort of defeats the object, and how do you get round the loop....
Brighton woman Fiona Turton is renting out her stable for £12 a night during December - complete with straw bed, manger and resident donkey - in an effort to get Brits to rediscover the magic of Christmas.
With the proceeds of the venture going to Leukaemia and Lymphoma Research, the modern version of the birthplace of Jesus Christ features mood lighting, electricity, heating and an ornamental fireplace and bookcase.
In addition to a straw bed for two, a manger and resident donkey, the little Bethlehem - located 2,300 miles away from the real deal on an organic farm in the South Downs - comes complete with tea-making facilities and an armchair.
Shepherd costumes, bath towels and WiFi are available at an additional cost, but traditional yuletide lessons are free of charge.
Think I’ll stay in the Castle this Crimbo.
That’s it: I’m orf to suss out somewhere to retire to.
And today’s thought: