Showing posts with label lap dancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lap dancer. Show all posts

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Dead benefit: Proton-Con-ton: Kensington Virgin(s): Marge slips away: Toy lap dance: and Dobbey the red bus reindeer.

Cold, wet and windy at the Castle this morn, the study is still holding onto crock computers and his Maj has finally worked out how to use the cat flap.

Kept being woken up last dark thing by the army firing orf those yellow parachute flares, there must have been dozens of them-I pity the very large computer company building dahn wind which will probably look like a Crimbo tree this day.

Orf to the dentist later to see if my broken front tooth can be saved-or another week of antibiotics and painkillers....


However, under plans published yesterday, the benefits will end after one year as ministers seek to encourage more widows, widowers and civil partners to return to work.
The government believes that the current £600 million a year system is “antiquated” and derives from a time when women were not expected to work and would have needed more support from the state.
Lord Freud, the welfare reform minister, said the current system offered no encouragement to the bereaved to find employment.
Lord Freud argued that the “primary aim” was “not to cut costs” but to make the benefits more effective.
Ministers are concerned that the current process can undermine people’s long-term job prospects by encouraging them to stay at home for longer.

Tough one this, is a year long enough to grieve? Not for me, and I don’t get any benefits....


Or not; Scientists say that two experiments at the LHC see hints of the Higgs at the same mass, fuelling huge excitement.
But the LHC does not yet have enough data to claim a discovery.
At a seminar at Cern (the organisation that operates the LHC) on Tuesday, the heads of Atlas and CMS said they see "spikes" in their data at roughly the same mass: 124-125 gigaelectronvolts (GeV; this is about 130 times as heavy as the protons found in atomic nuclei).
"The excess may be due to a fluctuation, but it could also be something more interesting. We cannot exclude anything at this stage," said Fabiola Gianotti, spokesperson for the Atlas experiment.

Can’t wait, but will it pay the bills......

A large number of scantily clad loonies lined up in the freezing cold outside the Virgin Holidays store in Kensington High Street in an attempt to break the world record for the world's largest swimwear queue.
The young men and women taking part were given the incentive of being allowed to pre-register for the holiday company's famous January sale.
Prices for holidays around the world start as low as £399.
Virgin Holiday's West London store, which officially opens in January, is the company's first permanent high street location not within a department store or supermarket.

I must remember to use the old “bikini world record” ploy at the Castle.

Black Hawk County sheriff's deputies are looking for a thief who slipped away with a truckload of margarine.
The spread, about $50,000 worth, was packed into a semi trailer bound for the Target Distribution Centre in Cedar Falls.
It apparently arrived early, and the truck driver left the trailer at an Elk Run facility on Plaza Drive to wait until the warehouse had space, said Capt. Rick Abben with the Black Hawk County Sheriff's Office. Another truck was slated to pick it up for the the last leg of its journey.
But sometime Saturday night, a driver hooked up the margarine trailer and drove off, according to the sheriff's office. The theft was discovered Sunday and reported to authorities.

No arrests have been made; the incident remains under investigation.

 I bet when the tealeaf opened the trailer he screamed-“I can’t believe it’s not butter”.

A Chicago strip club is offering free lap dances to customers who donate toys for poor children.
The Admiral Theatre will be running its Lap Dances for the Needy event until December 17.
Toys must be new and donors will only receive one lap dance per visit, regardless of how many toys they donate.
The Chicagoist reports that the annual campaign brought in "five car loads" of new toys last year, which were donated to local churches to donate as Christmas presents to needy children.
The theatre is staging Nude Pillow Fighting during the toy drive, in which strippers will compete for the 'Snow Bunny Queen' title.

Already got my ticket and toy......

And finally: 

Eight-year-old Dobbey the reindeer has been hand-reared from birth and is already well used to spending time with men who enjoy a festive tipple.

Animal-lover Gordon Elliott, 68, took over rearing Dobbey soon after he was born when his own mother rejected him – and now the pair go everywhere together, including trips in his van to local shops, the pub and even on and off trains and buses.

Builder Gordon keeps reindeer, camels, emu and wallabies on a field near his home in Enfield, North London.

Now father-of-two Gordon and his wife Marion, 62, treat him like a pet and every Christmas the pair set out to visit schools and nurseries in their area.

He said: “On Christmas morning I dress as Father Christmas and take Dobbey through town to see children and raise money.

“I’ve even taken him to church on Christmas morning. Everyone loves seeing him. Lots of people stop to take photos.

“Marion thinks I’m crazy.”

 She’s not the only one...


And today’s thought:



Saturday, 28 November 2009

Saturday Snippets

Walk a Hoodie; Rotten Robber; No Party Phones; And lap Dance Researcher.

Saturday morn and I am still here, the promised gales and rain hardly came to anything, the Angus castle is still intact and the drawbridge is down.

Apart from having no money life is OK, unlike the EU bureaucrats whose life is about to get much better due to a recession proof pay rise that is over three times the average rate for British workers hit by the economic slump.

Baroness Ashton, the newly appointed EU foreign minister who is also a European Commission vice-president, will pocket an extra £9,000 on top of her basic annual salary of £241,000.

Eurocrats will get the 3.7 per cent pay rise despite negative or near to zero rates of inflation across Europe, soaring unemployment, falling wages and austerity measures in most national public sectors.

Despite never having been elected to public office, Lady Ashton will now earn over £52,000 more than Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister.

God, I hate the EU.


Dumbing down: More than a quarter of 11-year-olds left primary school this year without a decent grasp of English and Math’s, official league tables will show.

Some 163,000 pupils failed to reach the standard expected for their age in the three-Rs, it is disclosed, as results dropped over the last 12 months.

Figures published on Tuesday are also expected to reveal that as many as one-in-five children in England effectively went backwards in the last four years of primary education.

How did the slogan go: Education, education, education? Thanks Tone.

First up:

Dog owners are dressing their pets in a range of trendy hoodies launched by a speciality pooch clothing company.

Fur-trimmed parkas, puffer jackets and fleecy body warmers are all made to fit a variety of dogs.

Schoolgirls Isabel and Jasmine Dicks love to dress their pet Chihuahuas Angel and Brick in the range of little coats.

Isabel, 13, and Jasmine, 11, choose their doggy outfits every day - and even get busy on the sewing machine to make sure the clothes fit just right.

While out for walks near their home in Southampton, Hants, the nine-month-old dogs turn heads wherever they go.

Their father Graham feels distinctly uncomfortable though.

He said: "I felt I should be wearing a Village People's outfit to match. But they're cracking little dogs. They've really grown on me."

I suppose they will be gathering in gangs on street corners when they are older.

A luckless crook surrendered to police after four robberies flopped in the same day.

Ralf Lautenbach, 24, fled after trying to hold up two hotels which set security guards on him - and then abandoned a break in at the local tax office in Muelheim an der Ruhr, Germany.

Finally the failing would-be crook handed himself in after he was trapped in his getaway car after using it to ram a bank security cash van.

"He needs a change of job," said one officer.

NO; he needs his lobotomy reversed......Numpty.

Mobile camera phones should be banned from office Christmas parties to prevent photographs of workers misbehaving being posted on the internet, an employment lawyer has warned.

Jonathan Whittaker said that snapping away with a digital camera is fine, but taking pictures on a mobile phone with quick internet access will make it too easy for workers to instantly make it available for public viewing.

The decision, taken after a few too many drinks, could be one they come to regret the following day and could lead to dismissals or people being sued, he warned.

"The speed with which an embarrassing or even unlawful photo can make it from phone to internet is breathtaking – digital-savvy types can take a photo and post it on a blog, website or social networking site for the world to see within seconds," said Mr Whittaker, of SAS Daniels LLP.

"The problem is that unless the subject or subjects of the photo give their permission, then it could be a sack-able and sue-able act."

Our right to behave badly in the confines of the office Christmas party is apparently protected by European legislation.

Mr Whittaker said: "It's Europe again: under the European Convention of Human Rights, everybody has the right to respect for their private life. Employees should seek permission from each individual before posting their photo on a website or blog; otherwise it could give rise to problems for staff and employer.

God I hate the EU.

And finally:

The University of Leeds is advertising for a lap dance researcher.

The advertised position, in the School of Sociology and Social Policy, is for: “Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy”.

The advertisement further stipulates that “prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry” is essential.

Having got the post, the successful applicant would work with the school's team on a research project to examine the “rise, tolerance and integration of sexual consumption and sexual labour displayed through the erotic dance industry”, and the commercialisation of female sexuality and the female body.

It hopes to determine where dancers are recruited from and what their working conditions are like, as well as examining how erotic dancing has become a “mainstream” entertainment, available on the high street of most British cities.

The researchers will interview 300 erotic dancers in two northern English towns, as well as other industry figures including manage and regulators.

Yeah right.

I think I am getting cynical in my old age.




Angus Dei politico