Showing posts with label lawyers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lawyers. Show all posts

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Saturday Snippets

Hypnocops; Choo choo burglar; Battered Berlusconi dolls; Big apple ride; and a lawyer’s pound of flesh.

Still freezing, the snow now has a nice covering of ice and I can’t even get into the car because the doors are frozen shut, and even if I could I can’t go anywhere because none of the roads around the Angus castle have been gritted.

But at least I can still sit in front of the fire unlike the poor sods that took the Eurostar yesterday and spent hours sitting in the cold and dark because of the wrong type of temperature.


The Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen party ended with a fizzle, which is probably no surprise to many people, The five-nation deal promised to deliver $30bn (£18.5bn) of aid for developing nations over the next three years, and outlined a goal of providing $100bn a year by 2020 to help poor countries cope with the impacts of climate change.

President Obama said the US, China, Brazil, India and South Africa had "agreed to set a mitigation target to limit warming to no more than 2C and, importantly, to take action to meet this objective".

He added: "We are confident that we are moving in the direction of a significant accord."

The only thing I am confident of is that it will cost us a lot of money in return for not a lot of return.

First up:

Police officers are being sent on hypnosis courses, as part of the "new frontier in UK policing".

Officers are being encouraged to sign up to a course by Tom Silver, who is better known as a 'celebrity hypnotherapist' on American chat shows, in an attempt to gain more information from suspects.

Mr Silver, who has appeared on the Montel Williams and Ricki Lake chat shows on US TV, where he gave a guest an "orgasmic handshake", normally charges £1,000-a-day for courses in his home country.

PC Mark Hughes, an investigative skills trainer with Cheshire Constabulary, personally organised Mr Silver's trip to the university in June next year.

He said that 'forensic hypnosis' is a the 'next logical step' for investigators to use when other 'more traditional methods' fail and said officers interested in new techniques should sign up to the course - despite its cost.

PC Hughes told Police Review: "Putting people in a receptive brainwave state makes it likelier that the truth would come out.

"Forensic hypnosis is a scientific approach as helmets monitor brain activity and anyone who is lying would have wide-awake brainwave patterns.

"Forensic hypnosis does not prove guilt but it can give new lines of enquiry when traditional methods have failed.

The mind police cometh.

Four year old Hayden Wright was found wandering his neighbourhood in Chattanooga, Tennessee in the middle of the night with a beer in his hand. He was wearing a little girl's dress taken from under his neighbor's tree.

His mother April Wright, 21, woke at 1.45am. And realised he was missing.

She found him outside in the street, drinking a 12-ounce can of beer, she said.

Hayden was taken to hospital and treated for alcohol consumption.

His mother said: "My biggest concern was him being out there, getting kidnapped, getting run over, the alcohol, having to have his stomach pumped."

She said Hayden runs away, trying to find his father, who is in prison. Miss Wright is currently divorcing him.

The boy had managed to get through a child-proof door and get a can of beer out of a cooler behind the house, she said.

He then got into the neighbour's house through an unlocked door and stole five Christmas presents.

"He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that's where his Daddy is," she said.

And the IQ test? For the mother of course.

An artist is hoping to cash in on the misfortune of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi with a mocking figurine depicting his injuries.

Marco Ferrigno designed the £45 miniature showing the PM with a bloody nose and head bandage after the 73-year-old was attacked with a marble and metal statuette on Sunday.

The artist has even put a mini-Berlusconi centre stage in a nativity scene on display in his shop in Naples.

Mr Berlusconi has now left hospital after being treated for a fractured nose and broken teeth.

The Prime Minister's injuries have stirred public sympathy in Italy, but several groups praising his alleged attacker Massimo Tartaglia have been created on Facebook.

No comment.

At first glance this seems amusing but, as in many cases it comes down to religion: The polar bear dare is the latest in an ongoing row between Hasidic Jews against Williamsburg hipsters.

The "Freedom Ride" is designed to protest against the removal of a bike lane in Williamsburg, a long-time Orthodox Jewish neighbourhood that has in recent years been taken over by young artists.

The activists intend to go topless in front of Hasidic residents who "can't handle scantily clad women" on wheels, Heather Loop, a bike messenger, told a local newspaper earlier this week.

The newspaper, The Brooklyn Paper, suggested the scantily clad protesters might roll into the neighbourhood at sundown on Saturday - just as families leave synagogue services on the Sabbath.

Cycling advocates claim Mayor Michael Bloomberg erased the bike lane because conservative residents objected to seeing scantily clad riding through the neighbourhood every day.

Members of the Satmar branch of Judaism "don't want to see women in shorts," said Baruch Herzfeld, who runs a bike-sharing programme in a community where Jewish women wear modest long skirts and blouses with long sleeves and men heavy coats and hats, even in the hot NY summer.

The biggest challenge for the topless riders, however, might not be the law - it's legal to go topless in New York in public - but the weather: forecasters are predicting as much as 10 inches of snow and brisk winds.

That’ll teach em.

And finally:

A Memphis attorney bit off part of a man's nose during a fight in a restaurant bathroom.

A lawsuit filed by Greg Herbers claims attorney Mark Lambert attacked him last June after Herbers asked two men in a bathroom stall to get out so that he could use it.

The suit states that Lambert was at a urinal and had been carrying on a conversation with the men in the stall. Herbers claims Lambert pushed and grabbed him and bit off and swallowed part of his nose.

Lambert told WMC-TV he did bite off part of Herbers' nose, but spit it out. He claims he acted in self defense after Herbers assaulted him.

The police report said Herbers entire left nostril was missing. Herbers claims he suffered permanent disfigurement and will need plastic surgery and possibly a prosthetic nose.

Herbers is asking for $5 million in damages.

I know some lawyers are called vampires but that is bit of a no

That’s it for now, and I even managed some mammaries for certain people, I’m off to the car with the hairdryer to unfreeze the doors.




Angus Dei politico

Tuesday, 3 February 2009


It’s snowing down here in ‘Ampshire, which will cover the ice that formed overnight, and make it even more fun to go out.

If you are lucky enough to be snowed in, here are a few stories to keep you company.

Following on from the man who wanted his kidney back from his wife during their divorce- Excite News VICTORVILLE, Calif. (AP) - Prosecutors say a spurned lover ambushed his ex-girlfriend and tried to cut out the breast implants he paid for by stabbing her. San Bernardino County prosecutor David Foy says 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley attacked his ex in July 2006 outside her mother's home in Hesperia, some 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert.

Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.

The 26-year-old woman survived six stab wounds and the punctured breast implants were repaired.

Rowley's former roommate Dennis McGill testified this week that the defendant wanted to reclaim what was rightfully his. Rowley allegedly told McGill, "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get em back."

And carrying on with the divorce theme-CROYDON A circus performer has had prehistoric ivory from a mammoth tusk implanted as teeth because he could not bear to part from it during his divorce.
Hannibal Helmurto, of the Circus of Horrors, did not want to split a 40,000-year-old mammoth tusk he purchased in 1993 with his wife when they recently got divorced.
The sword wielding circus performer, who is appearing at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon this weekend, decided to have the tooth fitted into his own mouth instead.

From the BBC a court's refusal to convict a police constable who reached 159mph on a motorway of speeding and dangerous driving is being challenged.
Pc Mark Milton, 38, from Telford, Shropshire, was recorded by the patrol car's video camera on the M54 in 2003.
District Judge Bruce Morgan cleared him after hearing he was "familiarising" himself with a new car.
High Court judges were asked on Tuesday to decide whether an officer could lawfully drive at those speeds.

One law for them?

From Sky News new questions are being asked about aviation security in America after a man packed himself in a crate and 'posted himself' back home. Charles McKinley shipped himself from New York to Dallas in an airline cargo crate.
He was even delivered to the door of his parent’s house - and broke out of the box on the lawn.
"My husband asked him, `Man, what are you doing in this crate?' He said he was coming home," his mother told KDFW-TV in Dallas.
Officials have launched an investigation to find out how he got past security at three airports.
Wonder if he went first or second-class?

Should you or shouldn’t you? NHS: Rosie Palm's Revenge the University of Nottingham say “Hands off” "Masturbation is linked with an increased risk of prostate cancer when practised frequently by young men in their twenties and thirties." Frequently, in this case, being in excess of 20 times a month.

The Australians say “go for it”- Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. . Masturbation Reduces Men's Chance to Develop Prostate Cancer

Does this mean that Nottingham are abstainers while the Aussies are wankers?

Belligerent Badger “A QUIET corner of rural England was recovering yesterday after a bruising encounter with Boris the badger.

Five people were put in hospital and two police officers were sent scurrying for cover after the bad-tempered creature went on a 48-hour rampage through Evesham in Worcestershire.
As the last victim returned from hospital yesterday, after having skin grafts to his legs and an arm, residents described Boris’s arrival as being like a scene from a horror film.”

The moral: never go into your garage to investigate strange noises.

Klingon interpreter sought for mental health patients Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon.

The language created for the "Star Trek" TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County, Oregon.
"We have to provide information in all the languages our clients speak," said Jerry Jelusich, a procurement specialist for the county Department of Human Services, which serves about 60,000 mental health clients.

Although created for works of fiction, Klingon was designed to have a consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary.

"There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said the county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway.”
What can you say?

Maybe “yIDoghQo'” (Don't be silly.) or “naDevvo' yIghoS” (Go away.)

If you want to see our great leader at his best take a look at

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." Victor Borge


Friday, 9 January 2009


BBC NEWS -A US man divorcing his wife is demanding that she return the kidney he donated to her or pays him $1.5m (£1m) in compensation.

This Pillock- Dr Richard Batista is demanding back the Kidney because his divorce is not going well tough, blame the lawyers, grow up and get a life.

BBC NEWS-Mixed-sex wards 'blighting NHS', this has been going on for years, in fact back in 2004 when Mrs Angus was in hospital, the “ward” she was in was mixed sex. I put ward in quotes because it was a “bay” of six beds, there were other bays with mixed sexes in as well. It is obviously beyond the “ward Manager” to arrange, or move beds so that all six beds are inhabited by the same sex after all it’s not Firkin rocket science. The excuse is always “it would leave beds empty "Lord (kahzi) Darzi tough shit, patients are stressed enough when they go into Hospital, adding to this stress by having mixed sexes in the same bay is unacceptable.

The Register-MI5 head calls for comms data access, yes it is still on the cards, they still want a database of all our phone calls and emails. Such data is currently held in varying degrees by communications providers and can be retrieved by the police, MI5 and other agencies. It is often used in court cases. The excuse of course is “national security, what about “national Privacy”?

Still on “security” The Register-the Home office denies remote snooping plan, and is denying plans to change to rules governing how police can remotely snoop on people's computers. A spokesman for the Home Office told the Reg that UK police can already snoop - but the Regulation of Investigator Powers Act and the Surveillance Commissioner govern these activities. He said changes had been proposed at the last Interior Ministers' meeting, but nothing has happened since.

Methinks they protest too much.

Still on “Government Snooping” which of course isn’t going to happen- The Register a private sector firm may be given the job of maintaining a proposed super-database tracking the telephone and Internet records of Brits.

So it seems even though the Government won’t be snooping on us, if it did happen then it would be run by a private company, as the Gov managed to lose 29 million records last year.

That really makes you feel “secure” doesn’t it?

Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal. And if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping its life away.”-Henry De Bracton